Fathers right for regular contact

kirsty1_2

What can my partner do to get regular access to his son. Every other month his ex decides that he can't have access for no valid reason. We have just had a baby together and my 3 other children live with us. She constantly dictates to him; here are a few examples:- when I was pregnant and was very ill and high dependency and was told to avoid stress she told him to choose between me and his son who I get on very well with. She has also said he she be staying at her house when he sees his son. He should also be taking her and his son out as a family(his son doesn't know them kike that as they split when he was a baby; his son has known me for 3 years and I have been with his dad for 2 years.
When my partner refuses her demands she denies access which really upsets my partner.
Her latest one is over money he was paying £114 a month csa but is only getting sick pay at the moment and I am not working, even though we gave her £63 last week which we just don't have she demanded £70 this week and as she didn't get it access was denied and threats made.
What can we do and what rights does he have. He gets really upset and so do my kids and I don't want his sister growing up not knowing her brother.
He is frightened to go to a solicitor for fear of causing upset to his son.

abbecer

I think legal advice is the only option left if she is being so unreasonable.

Sending you hugs and hope things get better.

Rebecca x

Zara33

Why are you giving her money on top of Child support You need to seek legal advice, money and contact are 2 seperate issues you have dealt with the money issue by paying the CSA so go one step further and seek proper contact arrangements.

alba37

How old is your partners son? I am sure there will come a time he will make his own mind up & hopefully his mother will see sense.

I think legal advice is the best way forward though, the mother doesn't sound like a reasonable person.

Good luck, I hope this gets sorted asap for all concerned.

Bossyboots

When it gets to this stage, legal action is usually the only way to go. They will be expected to try mediation first but he needs to see a solicitor for advice. While he is only on sick pay is a good time to seek advice as he may qualify for legal aid depending on whether you have savings or own a property.

Crazychik

Totally agree with the above, if she cant be reasonable to allow access, then this needs sorting out legally. It will be a costly thing to proceed with, but worth it in the end!

my OH doesn't have contact with his ex, and pays money via CSA. That was 6yrs ago! He was married and has parental rights
I only have contact with my ex when its needed. We seperated 3yrs ago! We wasn't married and he doesnt have parental responsibilities. As my children are age 7 & 11.

Think the law changed around 2000 or 2001 for un-married couples with children. If the child was born before then, and wasn't married - he doesnt have parental rights (but can get them through the courts)
If the child was born after, then he does!

Please check this out as I could be wrong with dates!

Bossyboots

Just to clarify, a father only gains automatic parental responsibility if he is unmarried by being named on the birth certificate of a child born on or after 1st December 2003.

Otherwise, he can gain PR by marrying the mother, entering into a PR agreement with the mother or obtaining a court order granting it.

thesaint

kirsty1,
Although your other half does not want to go to see a solicitor, it is in the best interest for his child to do so. Going to see a solicitor would not even be known to the child unless someone told him/her.

I would've thought that his child would be more upset with the situation as is?

A contact order would not guarantee that he sees his child, but they can work for those parents need gently persuading that they are doing the wrong thing for their children.

If she is adamant that she won't follow the court order, then there won't be much done about it in all honesty.

If he doesn't have parental responsibility, it won't make any difference to the court, it is normal to add an extra order to add it at the same time as applying for the contact order.

hobo28

Hi Kirsty

I can only agree with the wise words that Bossy & saint have said.

I just wanted to add that you should never allow yourselves to be cornered into no money = no access. Its simply not right and to do so will make a rod for your own back in the future.

If your husband is only receiving sick pay then the CSA should be informed so that his liabilities are reduced.

In the short term yes going to a solicitor will cause a lot of aggro but it does sound like in the long term it is your only option. The current yo-yo of access is doing no-one any favours, especially his son.

Good luck

Scarlett1

kirsty1 wrote:

Her latest one is over money he was paying £114 a month csa but is only getting sick pay at the moment and I am not working, even though we gave her £63 last week which we just don't have she demanded £70 this week

if she is on benefits (from your other thread) and demanding money then tell her that by you giving her money you would be helping her to commit benefit fraud and as you think that is very dishonest you wont be participating in that act as she could get in very serious trouble

Harridan

I think your DH needs to see a solicitor. Most family solicitors will give him an hour consultation for free, so don't worry about cost. He has no rights to see his son, but his son has every right to see him, and your DH's ex is denying him that right for no good reason. She sounds very unreasonable.

Your DH could perhaps suggest mediation. It's cheaper than involving solicitors, and would show a court that he was willing to be reasonable. A court would not look favourably upon her if she appeared unreasonable.