Having friends with fussy kids over for dinner

PipneyJane

lostinrates wrote: »

One of my closest friends has a bf who is a vegetarian who dislikes veg. It makes catering for him very difficult. Once he came and i made the iman fainted, and, because he doesn't eat aubergines he ate the stuffing from three aubergine shells and said it was delicious. I couldn't decide whether or not to tell him he had just been eating aubergine, but i decided against..

Please share the recipe for The Imam Fainted. What a wonderful name! I'm intrigued. (And I love aubergines so would like to try it.)

Thanks.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

Taste preference is a really interesting subject, especially how early it manifests itself. Not liking certain foods is the first thing that we all have any control over I suppose.

I was a fussy eater as a child; I liked a fair range of foods, but the things I didn't like were utterly non-negotiable (and often related to how they smelt). I would quite happily have starved to death or been force-fed before a mushroom passed my lips. I've also always had a small appetite and still find it physically difficult to clear a full plate. This made going round to friends' houses for tea an ordeal when it should have been fun. I still find formal dining situations somewhat intimidating.

Eating socially is supposed to be enjoyable. Guests shouldn't be worried they'll be frowned upon for not clearing their plates or trying everything, and hosts shouldn't expect that everyone will like every dish. It's not a competition (except on Come Dine With Me- the only cookery show I like!).

OP you sound like a good cook and I'm sure your guests will appreciate your efforts.

liney

The children are used to eating seperately, so why dont you just set up a 'kids table' with little buffet and let them have what they want and then go and play? The adults can then have their own dinner party and everyone is happy.

My son will eat most things, but if was asked 'Does he like mousakka?' and I politely said not really, no, and then was then fed it regardless i'd probably abit miffed. Now that you have asked the question then it's only polite to respond to the answer, surely.

lostinrates

PipneyJane wrote: »

Please share the recipe for The Imam Fainted. What a wonderful name! I'm intrigued. (And I love aubergines so would like to try it.)

Thanks.

Pipney, i would be surprised if you didn't know it, having read lots of you foodie posts! but might know it by its proper name, Imam biyildi?

I am not near my recipe books atm and today is a low mobility day (have exhausted self house hunting for a parent and having weather related issues in the nights this week,:o. So i really cannot give you my exact receipt, but this is the google search for it, where a good one is bound to be found:)

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=imam+bayildi&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari

It is quite simply one of my favourite things on earth to eat, i adore it.


Edit: by strange coincidence i just turned the tv on and come dine with me appears with imam biyildi being cooked!

heretolearn_2

OP, have a lovely dinner whatever you make and you are really nice to be thinking this much about it :-)

On kids not eating same food as parents; I have a couple of friends doing 'baby-led weaning' and I find it hard to believe that'll raise any fussy eaters unless the parents eat a restricted diet. I couldn't quite believe my eyes at seeing what a 6 month old can happily stuff in. Albeit slowly and messily. Noodles with stir fry veg...pancakes with honey...cheese sandwich...lumps of fish...blueberries...

Very different to the blended bland stuff we were taught to give them when I had my son. I think it's a fantastic idea. Mind you, son has always been a total foodie, he'll try anything. I can still remember the waitresses face in Pizza Hut when he was about 6 and she asked him what drink he'd like. Seems like little kids aren't supposed to request 'a sparkling mineral water please'.

lostinrates

heretolearn wrote: »

OP, have a lovely dinner whatever you make and you are really nice to be thinking this much about it :-)

On kids not eating same food as parents; I have a couple of friends doing 'baby-led weaning' and I find it hard to believe that'll raise any fussy eaters unless the parents eat a restricted diet. I couldn't quite believe my eyes at seeing what a 6 month old can happily stuff in. Albeit slowly and messily. Noodles with stir fry veg...pancakes with honey...cheese sandwich...lumps of fish...blueberries...

Very different to the blended bland stuff we were taught to give them when I had my son. I think it's a fantastic idea. Mind you, son has always been a total foodie, he'll try anything. I can still remember the waitresses face in Pizza Hut when he was about 6 and she asked him what drink he'd like. Seems like little kids aren't supposed to request 'a sparkling mineral water please'.

I guess what my mother and sister did was baby lea weaning. There were very, very few things my neices didn't like, and so few it was easy to accept they were genuine dislikes as opposed to faddiness. E.g. I remember one hating porridge, finding the texture dreadful and gagging. But she tried it. That was the one that adored sushi and pickled ginger and whose favourite food of all was asparagus. They both ate all veg, and only difficulty came at school where they cottoned on momentarily that some kids did not like green food and it was in some way 'cool' to be fussy. This was not pandered to at home, and their mother, an excellent cook, was able to temt them into their wonderful eating habits quickly.


As a kid i was in new places a lot and often had to eat food i really didn't want to. In fact, even though i have a very quick gag reflex the things i have been able to swallow in the name of manners astound me in retrospect! In a uk situation i would not expect to have children blink back watering eyes and eat things they wouldn't feed to their dog, or infact eat anything they really disliked in my home (as said earlier, if nothing else i make sure their is bread, and fruit and cake)but i do find the daunting lists of those things pretty off putting. It is true ime that children in uk and some other western world places have pretty limited palattes. And while it seems worse in uk, i don't think that really is always the case, e.g. Italian children eat olives and chicory and fish and all sorts many Britiah children would refuse, but they do not always like to try british food when on holiday here. (and many parents the same). I have found that many foreign children enjoy at least one aspect of a full English breakfast, and sausages for non vegetarian children are often wolfed down.

PipneyJane

lostinrates wrote: »

Pipney, i would be surprised if you didn't know it, having read lots of you foodie posts! but might know it by its proper name, Imam biyildi?

I know Imam Biyildi, but not in translation. I like your name for it much better.

Thanks for the links.

(I once had a Greek girl translate to me the name of a meat version as "little feet".)

BitterAndTwisted

If there's one thing that exhausts my endless reserves of patience it's faddy-eaters. I do blame the faddies but if they are kids the finger should be very firmly pointed at the adults raising them. This damned stupid notion that parents should be their children's best friends and never, ever challenge or try to guide them will come back to bite us all on the bums if it hasn't already.

When I was a kid blah, blah, blah. But our family didn't have the financial resources to find fancy alternatives to what was being cooked. What we ate was what my mother decided we ate and there was no money for other choices. We ate it or did without. Not a single one of us is particular or has some food-demon that we can't stomach. I could live quite happily never having to eat sweetcorn as a veg ever again but I would not refuse it in someone else's house.

When I looked after kids for a full-time job I wouldn't allow any of that "I don't like that" whining nonsense, especially if I knew they'd never even tried it before. Everything had to be tried, even if it was only one forkful. Those kids were omnivores and nothing phased them in the end. The benefit to me was that they were invited to other kid's homes often because they were no trouble. Ergo: most weeknights I had one fewer kid under my feet for a bit. When there are three that's a real boon, believe me.

Faddy adults are even worse: I once worked with a young man who wouldn't eat a single vegetable bar spuds and never had. He wouldn't eat off the plate if it so much as had a salad garnish on it. Weedy and spotty he was and fully deserved a smack. And so did his daft parents.

If I was catering for a family visiting me I'd prepare whatever it was that I felt like and would give the nippers jam sandwiches and an apple each if they didn't want it. Nobody else's kids are going to rule at my table, no sireebob.

Bitsy_Beans

I cook separately for my kids week days but that's because at 3 and 6 I think having to wait til my husband comes home at 6.30pm is a bit late for them.

What's interesting to me is how much fussiness is nature vs nurture. My DS IS more fussy (aged 6) and will reject food on sight. Some of this may be his ASD as he can be quite particular about what he will and will not eat. Contrast that with his little sister who at 3 adores rice, pasta, Cajun chicken, curry, will pretty much try most things off our plate. Evenif she doesn't like them the desire to try new foods is there. I have raised them exactly the same way and yet have polar opposite kids. So whilst maybe some kids are more fussy because they are pandered to maybe not all of parents are to blame.
I have sensory issues around certain foods, don't like the texture of fruit for this reason and cannot stomach sprouts or cabbage. I hated it when as a child family made such a huge deal about me not eating something (the in joke was because it was green although in truth this was nothing to do with it) and even a few years ago imagine my humilation at being presented with a fruit cocktail as desert and having to explain to H's family that I don't like fruit. For this reason don't make a big issue if someone doesn't like or eat a particular food it can be awfully embarrassing

BitterAndTwisted

Does your son with ASD reject some foods based on the shape of it on the plate? A friend's little fella wouldn't eat anything unless it was round. Extreme inventiveness was exercised in her house in order to comply with his needs.