Having friends with fussy kids over for dinner

duchy

My ASD son has always refused to eat anything green -about the only exception he will make is wasabi LOL

I stopped the battles as they were getting to exhausting for us both and instigated the rule-you're allowed to not like it ONLY after you've tried it.

He'll eat anything meat based ,loves Japanese food ,won't eat onions if she can see they are there (so I just chop tiny -spag bol with lots of onions is a staple for me) currys-would prefer a savoury after a meal to something sweet so it could be worse.

It's nor my fussiness getting passed on as I'll eat anything so I've always but it down to the ASD and the texture of veggies as the problem.

Bitsy_Beans

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Does your son with ASD reject some foods based on the shape of it on the plate? A friend's little fella wouldn't eat anything unless it was round. Extreme inventiveness was exercised in her house in order to comply with his needs.

Not really. If its "different" or unfamiliar then it gets rejected on sight, regardless to how its presented. I once made the mistake of using fusili pasta instead of the usual penne and had a meltdown.
He likes things presented the same way, eg cooked dinners tend to be mixed together or he won't eat the chicken separate for example. Probably looks like baby food but it's the way he will eat it. Pasta he will not eat if it's not in a "red sauce" not ketchup I hasten to add but tomato sauce, won't accept macaroni cheese
He wont eat things with "bits" on them so chocolate chip muffins made today he won't touch as they have black bits, or the granary loaf because of the bits.

I can only hope with a bit of maturity I can try and broaden his palate a little but at least his diet isn't restricted to soley foods of a single colour.

Just wish he would eat bananas though. They contain tryptophan which helps melatonin production. That would be a very helpful thing :rotfl:

He's better at eating plain veg as part of a cooked dinner, so broccoli, cauliflower, carrots are all happily eaten. Anything outside of this say onion has to be hidden within a sauce. He refuses all fruit except apples and won't even entertain salad.

lostinrates

duchy wrote: »

My ASD son has always refused to eat anything green -about the only exception he will make is wasabi LOL

I stopped the battles as they were getting to exhausting for us both and instigated the rule-you're allowed to not like it ONLY after you've tried it.

He'll eat anything meat based ,loves Japanese food ,won't eat onions if she can see they are there (so I just chop tiny -spag bol with lots of onions is a staple for me) currys-would prefer a savoury after a meal to something sweet so it could be worse.

It's nor my fussiness getting passed on as I'll eat anything so I've always but it down to the ASD and the texture of veggies as the problem.

If you are successfully hiding veg this might not help, but i always found i could hide onion, carrots and celery in most things by blending in a little stock or water or part of the rest of a sauce of a dish then returning, things like spagetti, chilli etc were easy to hige veg in that way.

Also, cooking with kids really worked.


Also, tbh, not being their parent helps. Kids would eat all sorts for slightly strict lir, and didn't think i cared that much about them (never true btw, but good at hiding it when faced with kids who 'don't eat' stuff). Copoling meals for parents was really inspring for most kids, and gibes them a sense of pride and involvement, even with the veg, also, lettiong them choose the meals, so long as it contained proper veg and a variety over a week.

jackyann

I always felt torn in these situations (Autistic Spectrum Disorder excepted of course). I raised non-faddy kids, who were taught to explain an occasional genuine dislike politely. However, we had a child we were close to, who became deeply distressed when presented with any food outside a very limited repertoire. I did consider ASD, but really it was an expression of his anxiety (there were difficulties in the family).
I talked to my kids about it, and we did try to accommodate him; but it did feel as if we made an exception for him because we knew why he behaved like this. We didn't know if other kids also had problems or just had parents who hadn't taught them properly!

BitterAndTwisted

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Not really. If its "different" or unfamiliar then it gets rejected on sight, regardless to how its presented. I once made the mistake of using fusili pasta instead of the usual penne and had a meltdown.
He likes things presented the same way, eg cooked dinners tend to be mixed together or he won't eat the chicken separate for example. Probably looks like baby food but it's the way he will eat it.

Pasta he will not eat if it's not in a "red sauce" not ketchup I hasten to add but tomato sauce, won't accept macaroni cheese

I'd be minded to invest in a ruddy-great vat of cochineal (sp?) and pass off meals not made with a tomato-based sauce as "special and just for him". But I'm a sly-boots who has an unreasonable determination to get my own way.

He wont eat things with "bits" on them so chocolate chip muffins made today he won't touch as they have black bits, or the granary loaf because of the bits.

I can only hope with a bit of maturity I can try and broaden his palate a little but at least his diet isn't restricted to solely foods of a single colour.

A hand-blender could become your best friend in your kitchen......

Just wish he would eat bananas though. They contain tryptophan which helps melatonin production. That would be a very helpful thing :rotfl:

Banana bread/loaf perhaps? No obvious bananas in there unless he's got refined banana-detection antennae. Even then you could be as sly as me and try to disguise it with cinnamon or something he likes the taste of.

He's better at eating plain veg as part of a cooked dinner, so broccoli, cauliflower, carrots are all happily eaten. Anything outside of this say onion has to be hidden within a sauce. He refuses all fruit except apples and won't even entertain salad.

To be honest, he doesn't sound like he's that much trouble to get good nutrition down. That's a pretty varied diet compared to some kids without ASD who are allowed to exist on ruddy ruddy chicken nuggets, chips and toast.

Please don't get me started on my sister's kids. *potential rant alert* The source of many, many heated differences of opinion about what should be allowed and what should never be tolerated. Anyone else fancy making three separate dinners every night of the week when you don't even enjoy cooking?

building_with_lego

My two can bit on the fussy side- although they eat most things, they tend to complain when told what the meal will be. My response lately has been to not tell them in advance, and just serve it up. We then sit down and they tuck right in!

(If they do ask 'what's for tea?' I tell them it's something like slug brains or elephant farts. That way it's always better than they expect :rotfl:)

Butterfly_Brain

I would do a roast with roasted veg and lemony potatoes and would just put the bowls on the table for people to help themselves.
I am afraid I can't be asked with fussy kids especially those who jump up and down at the dinner table :eek:
Both of my children had to eat what was put on their plate because quite honestly we couldn't afford to do more than one meal at a time.
We did encourage them to try anything and if they honestly didn't like it, then that was acceptable, after all DH won't eat peas and only certain forms of fish - I don't like octopus, liver or hearts, but both of the children used to love hearts when DH had some for dinner if he did a late night, they used to wait at the side of him with their mouths open :rotfl:
DD became vegetarian when she was 17 which I could understand and only likes certain veggies, but I do make sure that her meals are balanced and we eat veggie as a family a couple of times a week. Everyone loves my crust-less quiches, Mushroom tart , Stuffed Mushrooms, Egg and mayonnaise tarts, HM pizzas and many more meatless options that I have cooked over the last 5 years.

MidLifeCrisis_3

I took on board all your comments and made Chicken Chasseur for the adults and threw in some plain chicken pieces on a tray alongside it in the oven for the kids (very money saving too!). I put out some carrot sticks, cuc, cherry toms, etc and breadsticks with dips for snacking on with drinks before it was ready. The 6 yr old said 'don't like dips' and took handfuls of breadsticks that I'm not even sure if she ate or not. I then asked their kids if they liked green beans, carrots and broccoli and they were happy with the carrots and beans, so I served up lemon & herb roasted new potatoes, plain roasters and the veg in dishes and put it all on the table.

Some roast chicken was put on each child's plate and their mum dished them up some roasters and a small portion of each veg including some broccoli. The children were sat at our camping table as there's not enough room at the dining table for everyone and OMG I would be SO ashamed if my kids behaved the way they did in someone else's house. First up was "ughh broccoli" - my kids even tried encouraging them to try it by saying they like it as its like little trees - before the 9 yr old danced around the table acting the fool with it on his fork. OH politely asked him to sit back down. Next was 'don't like roasters', their mum admitted she'd never really tried getting them to eat them and dished up some of the herby new potatoes (also roasted:think:) on to their plates instead. While my eldest polished off their roasters their 9 yr old scraped the middles out of the skins and the 6 yr old refused to eat them saying 'too spicy'. The 6 year old ate with her fingers until I suggested she might want to try her fork. They were constantly up and down on their chairs and their mum told them off for their silliness and bad behaviour once, but it seemed to go totally over dad's head and unfortunatley it seems rather than my kids behaviour rubbing off on them, mine found it hilarious and were also showing off:(.

For pudding, I made OH's fave treacle sponge and a cheesecake, the 9 yr old wolfed the cheesecake and even came back for seconds. The 6 yr old refused to eat any of it, turned down strawberries that were in the fridge or icecream, but was happy with a stray cornetto that I found in the freezer.

Their parents seemed to enjoy what I'd made, but we're really not keen to do it again, especially when my kids told OH the next day that their 9 yr old had been using the F word while they were playing upstairs:eek:. Maybe adults only if there is a next time...

MLC

JimmyTheWig

Sounds like the children enjoyed themselves.

Also sounds like a lovely meal you cooked. Good balance of doing something "proper" vs catering for the children.

Penny-Pincher!!

Its down to the parents to train their children etiquette at other peoples homes and also to feeding them properly with a variety of different foods. Roasted spuds are staples aren't they??? Im a firm believer in (threatening) washing up liquid for naughty words!

Glad it went ok'ish.