Communicating decisions about end of life

John_Pierpoint

It came as a bit of a shock to me, when I was given the "do not resuscitate" forms to sign as the next of kin for my uncle - it was not a simple "Yes" or "No" decision for me to make, more a series of "Yes" or "No" decisions, but the nursing home obviously wanted "Yes" answers and so have no responsibility for future treatment. You don't have to have power of attorney to be given those forms to sign.

So they will be an interesting dilemma for you and your sister?

Eliza_2

Thank you everyone, my mum is encouraged that there are several ways of making her wishes known but the issue with my sister will need to be dealt with, my mother will raise the subject with her again and hope it will be less emotive.

She will also speak with her doctor next time she sees him, whenever that is!

She loved the idea of the tattoo but would find it hard to get over her idea that tattoos are just for burly seamen not dainty elderly ladies - even tho I tried to tell her they are the height of fashion!

Thanks everyone, a difficult subject but one that she doesn't find hard to talk about so I take my cue from her.

Liz

Incidentally the nursing home kept her friend going with antibiotics as far as she can tell.

Mr_Ted

This is a matter of the requirements of the individual, not for any family members, they should abide by the thoughts and expectations of the individual!

A Living Will is the best way!

My Mother had very very strong thoughts on what she wanted and when the need for a decision came, that decision had to be as she expected, I RESPECTED THAT, and as it was her expectations I am at ease with my agreement to her wishes, NO MATTER WHAT ANY ONE ELSE MAY THINK!

She is at peace now and no longer suffering!

nearlyrich

My Mum died really suddenly of a major stroke almost four years ago, in the hospital the consultant took my sister and I into the relatives room and told us what they could do and what the likely outcomes were. One of the options was to make her comfortable and let her slip away, other included massive intervention, intubation, intensive care etc etc. Both my sister and I immediately said "make her comfortable" and she slipped away a few hours later with all the family around her, children, grandchildren and her siblings. They had done all the tests and keeping her alive was just prolonging the agony, our Mum had already gone. I hope you manage to get things sorted for your Mum and I wish her many more healthy years looking after her old dears .

lilac_lady

I signed a living will via a solicitor and told my family what I had done.

I can think of nothing worse than being kept alive to suffer when you're ready to go. (where?..., I don't know but neither does anyone else!)