* Daughter has not been offered a place at ANY of the schools preferred *

anonymousie

How disapointing for you:grouphug:

We just been through this for DS re birmingham grammar schools, knowing that he will be eaten alive at a comp (a bright boy who sings isn't ever popular!). I must say our "backstop" position was private.

Firstly if your DD is OK with what she has been given then register her, whilst rermaining on the waiting lists/goint to appeal. If she isn't consider home educating her for a while- rumour has it that kids that are home edded awaiting a place are pushed harder up the lists as the authority gets twitchy about this approach:cool: You could always home ed her long term you know! Would have worked for DS is both parents didn't work FT.

I do know several of my eldest DDs friends went to a local comp having failed 11+ (it was a very bright school year, any other year I think they would be in) and have thrived, mainly because there is a group of them so they can resists the "school isn't cool" pressure. I don't agree wholly withthe " a bright child with thrive anywhere" thinking- DD1 probably, but DS would not..

You do have an independent option too don't forget-( DH is from croydon ) again there may be spaces still if you can afford it, for us we were prepared to down grade pretty much all else if we needed to pay for DS...

Good luch what ever route you take, and watch the pschology with your DD- if she knows "this school is only until I go to X" then she may well not work hard/make friends or integrate in the school as a whole-better to view it as where she will be at least for a good while IYSWIM, and try not to run down verbally any school she may "end up at" again- affects the attuitde to settling in etc.

CharleneUK

I don't think I set my targets too high at all, there were various factors I looked at, top lot being grades, bullying policy and children to teacher ratio, I had an extensive list and went about choosing schools that way. My daughter is now on the waiting lists, but I tried to get through to Croydon council but their lines were busy ALL DAY.

I just need some more advice about the whole process.

CharleneUK

Thanks again guys, I love reading everyones experiences, it's really really helpful

RufusFrog_2

Am not a parent but have heard this advice from friends and the telly this week: to get the best chance of succeeding at appeal you must have positive, academic reasons for wanting your child to go the school of your choice, not negative ones (such as bullying at the other school).

For example, if the school you want is a language specialist and your child is linguistically gifted (and wouldn't be offered the same range of languages at the other school) that is a good grounds for appeal. Or if the unfavoured school does combined science and your child *needs* separate sciences for her intended career path(!). You get the idea. Try to find something that the preferred school offers that the allocated school does not and provide supporting evidence as to why that is particularly necessary for your offspring.

inkie

I wish we had the grammar option in our area - DD sat competative entrance exam for local private school and got one of the highest marks, but we have to pay 50% fees, and so won't be going.

dora37

anonymousie wrote:

How disapointing for you:grouphug:

We just been through this for DS re birmingham grammar schools, knowing that he will be eaten alive at a comp (a bright boy who sings isn't ever popular!).

We have a bright boy who sings and acts - isn't a typical boys boy in that he isn't sporty and likes to get involved in things like productions, school council etc. He goes to a comp, is 13, very small for his age and wears glasses, however is popular and certainly isn't 'eaten alive'.

If you give a person the perception that they will be treated like that then they probably will. We have given our DS2 the confidence, self esteem and empowerment to know that though he isn't the same as a lot of the other boys it doesn't make him wrong or a lesser person - that in fact it makes him more of a person.

As he is slightly different in certain aspects, he embraces it and doesn't always follow 'the sheep mentality'. This attitude is part of what makes him popular.

ruthyjo

HappySad wrote:

I don't know what to do? go for local school that is not so good but then he would get the social side of having friends that live close by. Go for private school.. would we be able to afford it and would my son be OK with the rich kids majority? Should we go all out for the popular school and rent for a slim chance for getting the most popular school.

I think you would be taking a big risk by taking the renting approach. LEAs know that people do this - they have rules about it. For instance, you must show that you have sold your previous residence etc etc. Even if you get offered a place it can be retrospectively withdrawn if you are caught cheating. If it's a popular school anyone appealing who knows what you've done is likely to bring it up in their appeal - I've got to say I would if I knew someone had done this to jump the queue over my child.

My first two children go to an independent school. They went to a state first school and my DD is in a state reception class, but will move later. I've got to say in my view nowhere is that bad when they are 5 - it's later on that issues with a state education really arise. Also if you are dependent on a scholarship there are very few institutions that offer these to KS1 children. You'd probably have to wait until your child was older to be eligible for anything.

silverbirch_3

My son only got offered our 3rd choice school. I compared the exam results and our first choice (where my daughter goes) has 95% got 10 or more gcse's including maths and English, my 2nd choice (where my son goes) had 57% got 5 or more including maths and english and the school he got in was 14% got 5 or more including maths and english!!! Totally devastated but all i can do is put his name on the waiting lists at the other 2 and keep my fingers crossed. There are no grounds for appeal as neither 1st or 2nd choice school give priority to siblings and they have followed there admissions procedure so i have nothing to appeal against.

inkie

My son only got offered our 3rd choice school. I compared the exam results and our first choice (where my daughter goes) has 95% got 10 or more gcse's including maths and English, my 2nd choice (where my son goes) had 57% got 5 or more including maths and english and the school he got in was 14% got 5 or more including maths and english!!! Totally devastated but all i can do is put his name on the waiting lists at the other 2 and keep my fingers crossed. There are no grounds for appeal as neither 1st or 2nd choice school give priority to siblings and they have followed there admissions procedure so i have nothing to appeal against.

Sorry, but i'm a bit confused -if priority is given to siblings then if your daughter is already at the first choice school - why have you been overlooked? Also, with regard to the exam results, surely they are only as good as the kids that take the exam?

CharleneUK

Wow this seems like years ago now, but wanted to update with the brilliant news!! Once I'd finally put my appeal together, got all the back information and support information and guidance from a great MSE'r, TWO DAYS LATER the school write and tell me Tesh has been offered a place!! I'm over a moon!! I'd still like her to go to Shirley High School, but at least she now has a place with one of my preferences! I'm so happy about that, and so is she