Joining NCT or not

barbiedoll

I work in a very multicultural area but it does tend to be the middle-class white, or asian working women who join the NCT. The sort of women who can afford the fees, in other words.

It's a shame that so many women feel that they have to be excluded from these groups simply because of money issues. There are lots of ways that mums manage to get together, they meet at ante-natal appointments, their midwives put them in touch with each other (I've done it myself, after visiting 3 different women in the same apartment block within 2 weeks!) and they get chatting at baby clinics and so on. The NCT is just one way of connecting with other pregnant women, it's not the only way though.

dizziblonde

I regret the time I wasted with childbirth classes. Utterly.

They pedalled this illusion of choice, empowerment and everything - but then you go to give birth within the NHS system - and it's not there at all... nothing covered or discussed in any of my classes reflected the actual reality of my birth at all - so basically I sat through 6 hours of a fictional advert (ok so I tell a lie - at 8cm dilated with no pain relief available apparently in the entire hospital I got offered the aromatherapy trained midwife... I'm sure you can imagine my reaction to that one) for the way they definitely don't do things in my PCT - I want the 6 hours about staying mobile, birth positions etc I wasted of my life back because I was... well horror story.

If I'd joined the NCT I'd just have sat through more hours - and then felt crap about myself as I ended up having a premature baby who can't grasp breastfeeding so is on expressed bottles (so sue me now but her weight gain, health and not relying on a feeding tube for too long is a bigger priority) and a forceps delivery - only counterbalanced by doing 8cm of dilation on two chuffing paracetamol (which I think scores competitive birth brownie points).

Plus after a week on a post-natal ward so far I realise that sharing a date of childbirth with other women does not equate to sharing common ground, a united experience and not wanting to punch someone in the face with a mobile phone that plays the macarena as a ring tone at 5am.

Metranil_Vavin

suki1001 wrote: »

That's a bit of a silly statement, would you say the same for bnp members? You don't lump people together in any situation?

I am a particular type of person. A particular type of person, who wouldn't go near an NCT group.

The NCT members who I've met are wannabe yummy mummy types, who are materialistic. Sitting in a roomful with my sister, simply awful. I'm so glad I never joined.

Umm..no. I'd say comparing membership to the BNP and the NCT is ruddy daft though!

Maybe you've just been unlucky with the people you've met. Doesn't mean that everyone who joins is a snob, rich, or calls their kid Tarquin.

LittleMoog

I'm currently 10 weeks pregnant, and DH and I are planning to go to the NCT classes. The main reason for us is to meet people in a similar situation as we've moved to a new town about 18 months ago and only know people from work. Everyone I know that's been to the NCT classes has developed close links with at least a few people from the class, which is what I'm after as I'm a bit rubbish at making new friends! I'm not so bothered about the antenatal aspects, and I'm aware the NCT can have a bit of a "natural is best" agenda, so will approach what we're told knowing that they may be putting a slant on it!

rachbc

suki1001 wrote: »

I couldn't think of anything worse than joining an NCT class, all those middle class mums with their Tarquins and Tullulahs, it did not appeal to me.

Not sure how you can comment on what the women are like if you don't go...I had all sorts for preconceptions but they were all quashed. I still see very regularly the mums from my post natal group with dd who is now 5 - with the kids but also without - they have become real freinds. And not a single tarquin or tallulah!

euronorris

barbiedoll wrote: »

There is also a bit of a mantra about "natural" childbirth and some women have been made to feel that to use pain relief during labour, is a sign of weakness, which is definitely is not!

That is a problem that my sister faced recently. They pushed so hard for the 'natural' way (ie, no painkillers), even when she was asking for them, that she ended up vomiting due to the pain. When they were confronted by her angry husband, they responded with 'Oh, but we thought she was coping.'!! What a silly thing to say!

suki1001

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

Umm..no. I'd say comparing membership to the BNP and the NCT is ruddy daft though!

Maybe you've just been unlucky with the people you've met. Doesn't mean that everyone who joins is a snob, rich, or calls their kid Tarquin.

If you read my post you'd see I didn't compare them.

Metranil_Vavin

whatever you say.

Mrs.W_2

suki1001 wrote: »

Sorry, but it's my experience from meeting people who've joined. The ones I've met are snobby and not people I'd particularly ever want to associate with and have called their children silly names. I like normal people. i think you've got to be a particular type of person to join them, so I stayed well clear. That includes my sister, who has changed beyond recognition (won't even mention to her friends where she comes from, because she's embarassed, she thinks they already look down on her).

Oh dear, you must have had a very limited experience of NCT members, Suki. My class was not populated by silly sorts wanting to call their child "Thor" or "Isis". The mother who chose those names I met on an NHS course. The poor kid was a boy, so ended up a Thor.

suki1001

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

whatever you say.

I'm guessing you're actually 14.