Old Friend

McKneff

You were in a restaurant over the weekend and you didnt speak to him, yet you say you were such good friends.

You actually sound like a couple of 14 year olds to be honest and immature ones at that.

Grow up, This poor man is possibly in love with you and has decided to give it all up as a bad job because you dont want that sort of relationship with him. If thats the case, he will be hurting each time he has tolook at you.

He may not even had a girlfriend, he may have made it up so see how your reacted.

thegirlintheattic

If he is still with the girlfriend I'd keep well out of it. I've been the (unknowing) other woman before and it's not a healthy place to be. Especially when the gf finds out and starts stalking you, convinced you are out to ruin her.

If there is no girl in the picture I'd just text or call and suggest we meet up.

GlynD

OP things have changed between you and your friend. What you had will never be the same again. Move on and stop worrying.

cottonhead

If I were you I wouldnt waste years thinking what if...... once one of you get married / have kids / move away etc its too late.
I would make it easier by sending him an email to let him know how you feel and see what he says. If you are not in regular contact that makes it easy if he does reject you. Just go for it or you wont ever know !

tea_lover

If it makes you feel any better (probably not but here goes....) I had a male best friend for years. There wasn't anything romantic between us, we were just really close friends. All of our other friends thought we should be together and it did cross my mind as we got on so well and spent so much time together.

Eventually we did end up together but not for the right reasons at all. We got married and split up a couple of weeks later - all a massive mistake. I haven't seen or heard from him in over 10 years and have got no intention of ever doing so.

So the moral of my story is...... sometimes you're better off staying friends. Tbh he doesn't even sound like he is that great a friend anyway. I'd just forget about him and move on with your life.

sassyblue

totheleft wrote: »

With me, i can't do with mind games, i rather a guy tell me 'Hey i like, do you like me? lets get together' sort of thing.

Sorry but from your post l don't see evidence of that at all. Everytime he's made a move on you you've brushed him off or ignored him! Get over the fact that he cut you out of his life because you have brushed him off too, in my eyes l would say that was well deserved.

If you like him and the not knowing is going to have an adverse effect on your future for Gods sake TELL HIM, but if you don't want more than friendship l think you're going to have to let him go, he clearly wants more or nothing.

Taadaa

When he called you out of the blue wanting advice about his gf after not contacting you for so long, did you not ask him why he suddenly cut you out? He can't just pick you up and drop you when he feels like it. If he genuinely cared for you he wouldn't have behaved like that. Sounds to me like he was stringing you along. And then he got bored and moved on.

pimento

For someone who doesn't do mind games, you're pretty good at mind games.

totheleft

Thanks for the advice guys.

A lot of different responses.

Those who thought I'd played mind games, maybe he thought I did but it wasn't intentional. I used to play along with his hints and hint back at first but I was just waiting for him to ask me out. He just seemed to be scared so I started to brush him off when I got frustrated. I could have asked him out but I was so shy. He was a very good looking guy.

Those who think I'm immature, I'm not, all I wanted was a guy who I liked and who thought liked me to ask me out...but our friendship went sour and I haven't listed everything but he made it hard for me to be his friend when all he wanted was to talk about his gf and wanting to get married. His girlfriend is 100% real.

I was annoyed he rang me to ask advice about his girlfriend because that advice could have been given by anyone who was closer to him. He didn't even ask me how I was.

He still hasn't replied to me so I'm guessing he doesn't want to know which a shame really.