Things you've learnt not to say? :o)

Newly_retired

If it is someone I really care about, I ask " How are you today?"
Then they tell me about today, rather than their list of ailments.
My mum always answered " surviving". She made light of her problems.

Marisco

Newly_retired wrote: »

If it is someone I really care about, I ask " How are you today?"
Then they tell me about today, rather than their list of ailments.
My mum always answered " surviving". She made light of her problems.

Yes I say that as well, or "bearing up under the strain"!!:p People really don't want to know all your ailments (well, I don't anyway!) so I'm dammed sure they don't want to hear mine (I've not got any, but you know what I mean!! )

BlondeHeadOn

Marisco wrote: »

It was fatal to ask an old aunt of mine that!!!! As you'd get chapter and verse on all her operations - in detail - and she'd always make a point of saying how unwell she was!!!:eek:

Ones I try to avoid (and usually fail) are "these days" and "I remember when":D

I know people like that, and I usually resort to greeting them with something along the lines of:

"No need to ask you if you are well, you look wonderful/great/fantastic/so rested/so much better/like you've just had a holiday...." whatever will best fit.

This means they either just agree (sometimes from the shock!), or they really have to work hard to get the conversation round to their ailments!

pukkamum

Never, ever say to your new employer
"when is your baby due?"
Not unless you are sure she is pregnant!

The look of disgust on her face when she replied she wasn't was all i needed to realise i would never get ahead at that company!

kingfisherblue

mumcoll wrote: »

'Where do you work?' I now say 'Do you work?' Gone are the days when you could presume everyone was in work!

I must admit that it bugs me when people assume that I laze around all day because I don't work in paid employment. I care for my disabled son, and when he is at school I often catch up on my sleep (I'm up at least four times a night, every night). I arrange appointments and attend them (for both sons - one has some emotional problems since his dad left home to start a new family elsewhere). I sort medication, attend meetings (specifically for my sons and also meetings and forums about disability in our area, including how to shape services for the future), support friends (and they support me ), spend hours researching and applying for funding for my disabled son's needs and for a local disability group - I could go on.

I also do some voluntary work that fits in with my caring responsibilities, just a few hours a month at the community centre and my weekly guiding (which includes planning and preparation - it isn't just an hour a week as people often assume :rotfl:).

When I can, I attend free courses that are relevant to my voluntary work or my interests.

Hopefully one day I will return to the workplace, and the voluntary work and educational courses will be positive for me.

So no, I don't have paid employment, but yes, I do work

moneypuddle

"Did you have a good weekend?" to a colleague of mine. I will get the absolute boring ins and outs of every hour of her weekend, down to what she watched on TV, what she ate for her lunch and what she did with her cats in intense details

Savvy_Sue

Newly_retired wrote: »

My mum always answered " surviving". She made light of her problems.

My cousins are teaching my aunt to say "Mustn't grumble." :rotfl:

I used to try to avoid saying anything at all to my neighbour, because I'd then be caught for at least half an hour. But she's been in hospital on and off since before Christmas, so I have been visiting and phoning as and when. Learning some strategies, like getting DH to call and say he's ready for me to help him with whatever ...

olibrofiz

'gosh I haven't seen you in ages and ages, how have you been' - I then can't get away for ages and ages while they tell me exactly what they've been doing all those years.

I now say 'oh it's lovely/nice to see you, you haven't changed a bit'

one_hot_minute

I'm not a fan of 'surviving' or 'mustn't grumble'either tbh. Unless its a very good friend I tend to say 'great thanks' as its much less defeatist and the simple act of saying you feel good is part of the mentality of feeling good!

I have learnt not to say 'what do you think?' to certain people. A little trick I have is to present two options that I've already researched and like and let them think they have a choice. This works well with kids too, especially toddlers! Instead of 'what would you like to do / for dinner / to wear?' I present to options and let them choose.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

'I love you'.



Never ceases to screw my life up some more.