Things you've learnt not to say? :o)

londonsurrey

When I was a student, I visited one of my tutors. She was out, but she shared an office with another researcher.

While I waited for her, I chatted to the kindly old gentleman, and we struck up a friendship. He turned out to be a retired psychiatrist doing a doctorate in artificial intelligence.

I loved the knowledge he was happy to share, and wanted to share it out. But I suddenly realised that it wasn't always such a good idea to say "My friend, the psychiatrist,..."

coolcait

Anything to do with music - it always makes me look/sound/feel old.

Anything to do with 'History' as studied at school - bad enough if it was 'Modern Studies', in my day. Devastating if it has actually happened in my lifetime.

"In my old job we did...." -doesn't matter if it is the best idea in the universe - EVER. Doesn't matter if it took ages of blood, sweat, tears and horror to find the solution. Don't ever put it in terms of 'in my old job'. Come up with it as a new idea. If you're really altruistic, pick up on something one of your colleagues has said, and spin it out - "Picking up on what londonsurrey said, what about doing a survey to find out what people have learnt not to say?" (Thinks to self 'That's what they did in my old job')

Things I'm still working on learning not to say:

"So, you're a regular poster using an AE so that no one can identify you (despite the wealth of identifiable detail you are putting in your posts)? Well, of course you are :rotfl::rotfl:"

"Actually, when you think about it, if someone regularly trolls under whatever name, they are 'a regular poster using a different name'. It's just that they never use the same name very often."

If all the threads on this forum were true, it would be sociologists' paradise. It probably still is.

Just because a poster is new, it doesn't mean they are a troll. Just because a poster has a posting history of gazillions, it doesn't mean they're not a troll. Or a narcissist.

And, even when I stop saying them, I'll probably still be thinking them.

I hope to be able to retain that freedom of thought indefinitely. I will probably try to keep moderating my right to freedom of expression of those thoughts (while recognising that I have not always been successful in this endeavour).

mumcoll

'Where do you work?' I now say 'Do you work?' Gone are the days when you could presume everyone was in work!

kingfisherblue

I am a Brownie and Rainbow guider. If I am speaking to a mum, I no longer call them Mrs Smith (or whatever the child's surname is), as I have been corrected a few times - 'It's Miss Jones actually, she has her dad's surname'. No one has ever taken offence, as far as I am aware, but I still avoid it. If I know I'm going to be speaking to a mum, I check the contact sheet for her name, but this isn't always possible.

DylanO

mumcoll wrote: »

'Where do you work?' I now say 'Do you work?' Gone are the days when you could presume everyone was in work!

They happened? I suppose you grew up before housewives were common? The 6th century perhaps?

VfM4meplse

kingfisherblue wrote: »

I am a Brownie and Rainbow guider. If I am speaking to a mum, I no longer call them Mrs Smith (or whatever the child's surname is), as I have been corrected a few times - 'It's Miss Jones actually, she has her dad's surname'. No one has ever taken offence, as far as I am aware, but I still avoid it. If I know I'm going to be speaking to a mum, I check the contact sheet for her name, but this isn't always possible.

It's not unreasonable to expect children to have the same name as their mothers, and it sounds to me that you do more than your bit to accomodate sensibilities.

mumcoll

DylanO wrote: »

They happened? I suppose you grew up before housewives were common? The 6th century perhaps?

I mean 37 years ago, when I started work, everyone who left school went to work (or uni if you were clever). Not everyone is that lucky nowadays. Nothing to do with housewives!

delain

kingfisherblue wrote: »

I am a Brownie and Rainbow guider. If I am speaking to a mum, I no longer call them Mrs Smith (or whatever the child's surname is), as I have been corrected a few times - 'It's Miss Jones actually, she has her dad's surname'. No one has ever taken offence, as far as I am aware, but I still avoid it. If I know I'm going to be speaking to a mum, I check the contact sheet for her name, but this isn't always possible.

This happens to me all the time... I don't mind at all I had a lucky escape not marrying the older girls dad... And my surname is horrible to have at school age. They have his surname because its nicer

I've learnt not to ask 'how are you' to some people...

Marisco

delain wrote: »

I've learnt not to ask 'how are you' to some people...

It was fatal to ask an old aunt of mine that!!!! As you'd get chapter and verse on all her operations - in detail - and she'd always make a point of saying how unwell she was!!!:eek:

Ones I try to avoid (and usually fail) are "these days" and "I remember when":D

VfM4meplse

delain wrote: »

I've learnt not to ask 'how are you' to some people...

So true....! It's much easier (and quicker ) to say "It's lovely to see you".

Newly_retired

"Do you work?" well that can be offensive too!
In the few years when I was a SAHM I worked extremely hard.
" Yes, I work hard as a mother/ homemaker"
Now that I am retired I still do voluntary work and have a busy life. I work hard ( and relax well too.)
Many people would love to work but there is a recession.
" I would love to but there are 10 applicants to every job advert in my town"