Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the responsibility of this

Hootie19

Following this thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3239642= (outcome is in post 25 to save you reading the whole way through), my husband still hasn’t been reinstated onto the on-call rota at work, meaning we are still £600 a month down on our income. That’s £6,000 lost so far.

So this has had quite a major impact on our finances, and I feel we are now at breaking point. So far, apart from my husband's Barclaycard, we are up to date with all payments, so this is a preventative, as much as a curative situation.

My husband has always suffered from “head in the sand” syndrome, but this has worsened considerably since May of last year. He has yesterday finally been to the GP and been diagnosed, pending the results of urine and blood tests, with stress/depression. I believe this all stems from the stress he (and his colleagues) are being placed under at work – with my husband having the added stress of his employers apparently still being unable to trust him and feeling unable to put him back onto the rota.

My husband collapsed at home a few weeks ago, and was taken by ambulance to A&E. After a whole battery of tests, he was given no real explanation for this, other than his ears were very bunged up with wax (have since been syringed) and a urine infection (given antibiotics). Whilst I accept that the wax build up could have explained why he had been experiencing dizzy spells, I don’t think it explains why he passed out. But that’s not relevant to this post. He was given a week off work, following the hospital visit. He has had last week off as annual leave, and when he went to the GP yesterday, he has been given a sick note for a week – if he wants to use it. The reason for the note is given as “investigation of symptoms”.

He hates where he works now and I think he’d rather like to have a week off (he has been given Fluoxetine pending the results of the blood/urine tests, and these could have side effects, which is why I think the GP offered him the week off), but doesn’t want to rock the boat with work any further than necessary.

So to the reason for me posting. As I said, it’s likely he has stress/depression, so isn’t dealing with things at all well at the moment, so I am trying not to stress him any further. It does mean though that all the worry for the financial situation is falling on my shoulders.

I have gone onto the CCCS website today and have put in all the details (except for one which I had forgotten about, but isn’t going to make that much of a difference to the outcome), and their recommendation is a DMP.

I just don’t know if this is the right way to go. I know that we can’t really carry on much longer the way we are – but don’t know what else is open to us.

My husband has three credit cards. Barclaycard, Sainsbury and Smile. The Smile one is supposed to be only used for his work expenses, but I suspect he has been using it for other things.

I have been making payments on the Sainsbury card, so I know that that account is up to date. He was supposed to be dealing with the other two. After receiving a DCA letter regarding Barclaycard, he made an agreement to pay £60 a month to them. He has not stuck to this arrangement.

I have a Tesco credit card which is 0% interest until September next year.

We have pared back on quite a lot of stuff, but my husband just will NOT entertain the idea of cancelling Sky TV. (I have tried, believe me. I used to pay for this out of my “bills” bank account, but I spat the dummy towards the end of last year and cancelled the direct debit payment, telling my husband that he could either call Sky and cancel the package or work out some other method of paying. He set up a direct debit from his own account and thought he’d done well because he’d negotiated a reduction in the payment from £90 a month to £65. As the Sky account is in his name, I am unable to cancel it myself.)

I think the only other area we can reduce now is on food shopping, which I must confess, I’ve been a bit lax with, so there is a bit of scope.

I am having to take all the responsibility for decisions on my shoulders at the moment (due to his mental health position) so my questions are:

Are CCCS the right people to go with?

What are the consequences of taking on a DMP? Does that mean our credit rating is once more shot to pieces? Would it be better to try and limp along, in the hopes that my husband will return to the on call rota and our financial situation improves?

CCCS have said to open new bank accounts, but I am unclear as to why (because we both have overdrafts, but I’m still not sure why this would mean we cannot continue with our present accounts). But if our credit rating is poor (after me working really hard recently and regaining a good score, I am crushed that we are seemingly back in the same position) won’t that mean that we won’t be able to open new accounts? If we are in a poor financial position, will another bank want to take us on as customers? And should we go for joint banking, or individual.

All/any opinions welcomed on this. And sorry the post is so long. And probably not quite as coherent or logical as it ought to be.

fatbelly

If CCCS recommend a dmp I'd be inclined to go with that. And yes they are the right people (or at least one of the right ones) as they don't charge a fee.

The new bank account is only needed if you are banking with the same bank where you also have debts. That is the usual case as folk tend to have loan/credit card/overdraft in one place.

Using a new bank account for all income and essential direct debits means that the bank that you owe money to cannot help themselves to your income. It's the right of set off and that link is to Martin's article.

Mrs_Arcanum

fatbelly wrote: »

If CCCS recommend a dmp I'd be inclined to go with that. And yes they are the right people (or at least one of the right ones) as they don't charge a fee.

The new bank account is only needed if you are banking with the same bank where you also have debts. That is the usual case as folk tend to have loan/credit card/overdraft in one place.

Using a new bank account for all income and essential direct debits means that the bank that you owe money to cannot help themselves to your income. It's the right of set off and that link is to Martin's article.

Agree with this also. As it appears defaults are happening this will give you a clear time scale to clear your debts and have the CCCS support which should help reduce your husbands stress. With the stress reduced and a budget based on the income without the on call rota money, hopefully his health will improve and be better able to cope with work as it stands.

Worth getting the new bank account sorted ASAP as this gives you more options at the moment whilst your credit score is still relatively OK.

backinbusiness

I'm really sorry. Your statement that the Smile CC should be used for work expenses but suspect it has been used for something else rang alarm bells for me. Given the situation as it stands then this could be enough for them to dismiss him outright I'm sure.

I don't wish to panic you.

fatbelly

If you feel brave, post a statement of affairs (link to SOA calculator)

wyebird

backinbusiness wrote: »

I'm really sorry. Your statement that the Smile CC should be used for work expenses but suspect it has been used for something else rang alarm bells for me. Given the situation as it stands then this could be enough for them to dismiss him outright I'm sure.

I don't wish to panic you.

#

I don't think she means that it is a company card; just one he uses for work expenses and then pays them back when reinbursed probably...

DVardysShadow

backinbusiness wrote: »

I'm really sorry. Your statement that the Smile CC should be used for work expenses but suspect it has been used for something else rang alarm bells for me. Given the situation as it stands then this could be enough for them to dismiss him outright I'm sure.

I don't wish to panic you.

I think you are jumping the gun here. OP says husband has 3 CC's and Smile is only supposed to be for work expenses. Well, whose account is it? As I read it, it could be either way.

If it belongs to the employer, I think OP would have described it as such. If it is an employer organised account whereby employer does not settle the account, but pays expenses to employee for employee to pay the card off, it really should not cause any employment problem whatsoever.

backinbusiness

Oh sorry - my bad! Misunderstood the post.

Hootie19

Thank you - here's the embarassing SOA.

And sorry, I wasn't completely clear about the Smile credit card. It is my husband's personal credit card, not a company issued card, that he was supposed to only be using for company expenses, to make it easier to submit his expenses claim each month.


Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 4
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1039
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2000
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3039

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 1205
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 170
Electricity............................. 45
Gas..................................... 50
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 55
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 74
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 65
Internet Services....................... 27
Groceries etc. ......................... 500
Clothing................................ 10
Petrol/diesel........................... 150
Road tax................................ 44
Car Insurance........................... 63
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10.4
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 23.92
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 31.51
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
Tax credits repayment .................. 60
Total monthly expenses.................. 2660.83


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 180000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 2500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 182500


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 111000...(1205).....3.19
Total secured & HP debts...... 111000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Sainsbury mastercard...........2500......54........29.9
Barclaycard....................5500......60........20.9
Tesco Mastercard...............3000......25........0
Personal Loan..................11000.....407.1.....0
Smile..........................500.......100.......0
Total unsecured debts..........22500.....646.1.....-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,039
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,660.83
Available for debt repayments........... 378.17
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 646.1
Amount short for making debt repayments. -267.93

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 182,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -111,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -22,500
Net Assets.............................. 49,000

Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.


I don't know the interest rates on the Smile credit card or the personal loan, so haven't included those. I haven't seen a Barclaycard statement for months, so have "best guessed" the balance based on the balance that was on the letter I found from the DCA. The last statement in the credit card folder is from June of last year. (See - head in the sand syndrome.)

The personal loan amount was £20,000 and the balance is £11,000.

There are 4 adults, and yes, I know in an ideal world, both my sons would contribute. However, my eldest son works part time (he gets whatever hours he can) for not very much money, and he has a partner and young baby to support. They live 180 miles away (hopefully this will change, but that's the situation at the moment) so he uses the vast majority of his money on travelling to see them and on sending money to his partner for the baby. He works for a frozen food retailer, so he does contribute by way of buying some food there, and when I go shopping there (not often) he gets a 15% discount which is useful. I would feel wretched if I demanded he gave me money towards his keep which meant that he couldn't see his son.

My younger son is in full time education (college) and only survives on his student loan. He's very tight for money, so his contribution is in walking the dog and doing some household chores.

We have two cars. Mine is off the road at the moment, as it needs some work which we can't afford to have done. I am able to walk to work or get lifts, but my husband has to have a car for his work, as he has to travel to locations other than his office base, so we can't take that off the road too. I'm not sure what would happen if I SORNed my car and cancelled the insurance - would I then lose my 10+ years entitlement to NCD or could I pick it up again at a later stage? With women's car insurance premiums set to rise soon, I will need as much NCD as possible, if/when I get my car back.

I hope this is enough for you to offer opinions, but I will provide any other information necessary.


eta - just realised that I've not included the dreaded bank charges. I got clobbered with £70 this month. Ouch. On average, I reckon we accumulate £30-40 between us.

Oh, and the gas/electricity sum is not actually current. We were paying £90 a month for both, but have just switched to a new supplier and I *think* that payment is reducing to £65 from next month.

eta again - the mobile phone amount sound horrendous, but it is for three contracts (mine, my husbands and my youngest son's). They have well over 12 months to run so not able to be cancelled and changed to PAYG for while.

eta (again! sorry) - also didn't include my £600 overdraft (used fully) and my husband's £500 overdraft (also fully used).

Housework*Fairy

Hi

Hope you are able to get a good night's sleep - you sound like I feel, trying to get things straight in your head to see the clear picture.

You should definitely be able to reduce the food bills - one way I have done this is by doing online shopping only. It's so much easier to stick to a list and I'm not so easily swayed by packaging or BOGOF's that I don't need. I bet you could save £200 minimum by doing that.

With regards to your insurance I think you can keep your NCD for up to 2 years - that happened to me anyway with the people I insured with and they sent me a letter saying I was entitled to x year NCD even though I had been without a car for 16 months.

mellonicoley

Hootie19 wrote: »

Thank you - here's the embarassing SOA.

And sorry, I wasn't completely clear about the Smile credit card. It is my husband's personal credit card, not a company issued card, that he was supposed to only be using for company expenses, to make it easier to submit his expenses claim each month.


Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 4
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1039
Partners monthly income after tax....... 2000
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 3039

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 1205
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 170
Electricity............................. 45
Gas..................................... 50
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 55
Telephone (land line)................... 15
Mobile phone............................ 74how many mobiles is this for? are they on contract? perhaps you could drop a tariff or switch to PAYG when contract ends
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 65does your OH understand how tight money is at the moment? Because this is an expense you could really do without!
Internet Services....................... 27
Groceries etc. ......................... 500I think you could bring this down easily. shop around for deals, batch cook, check out the old style board for tips
Clothing................................ 10
Petrol/diesel........................... 150
Road tax................................ 44
Car Insurance........................... 63
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10.4
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 23.92see if you can get this for less
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 31.51same as above
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
Tax credits repayment .................. 60
Total monthly expenses.................. 2660.83


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 180000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 2500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 182500


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 111000...(1205).....3.19
Total secured & HP debts...... 111000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Sainsbury mastercard...........2500......54........29.9
Barclaycard....................5500......60........20.9
Tesco Mastercard...............3000......25........0
Personal Loan..................11000.....407.1.....0
Smile..........................500.......100.......0
Total unsecured debts..........22500.....646.1.....-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,039
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,660.83
Available for debt repayments........... 378.17
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 646.1
Amount short for making debt repayments. -267.93

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 182,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -111,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -22,500
Net Assets.............................. 49,000

Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.


I don't know the interest rates on the Smile credit card or the personal loan, so haven't included those. I haven't seen a Barclaycard statement for months, so have "best guessed" the balance based on the balance that was on the letter I found from the DCA. The last statement in the credit card folder is from June of last year. (See - head in the sand syndrome.)

The personal loan amount was £20,000 and the balance is £11,000.

There are 4 adults, and yes, I know in an ideal world, both my sons would contribute. However, my eldest son works part time (he gets whatever hours he can) for not very much money, and he has a partner and young baby to support. They live 180 miles away (hopefully this will change, but that's the situation at the moment) so he uses the vast majority of his money on travelling to see them and on sending money to his partner for the baby. He works for a frozen food retailer, so he does contribute by way of buying some food there, and when I go shopping there (not often) he gets a 15% discount which is useful. I would feel wretched if I demanded he gave me money towards his keep which meant that he couldn't see his son.

My younger son is in full time education (college) and only survives on his student loan. He's very tight for money, so his contribution is in walking the dog and doing some household chores.

We have two cars. Mine is off the road at the moment, as it needs some work which we can't afford to have done. I am able to walk to work or get lifts, but my husband has to have a car for his work, as he has to travel to locations other than his office base, so we can't take that off the road too. I'm not sure what would happen if I SORNed my car and cancelled the insurance - would I then lose my 10+ years entitlement to NCD or could I pick it up again at a later stage? With women's car insurance premiums set to rise soon, I will need as much NCD as possible, if/when I get my car back.

I hope this is enough for you to offer opinions, but I will provide any other information necessary.


eta - just realised that I've not included the dreaded bank charges. I got clobbered with £70 this month. Ouch. On average, I reckon we accumulate £30-40 between us.

Oh, and the gas/electricity sum is not actually current. We were paying £90 a month for both, but have just switched to a new supplier and I *think* that payment is reducing to £65 from next month.

eta again - the mobile phone amount sound horrendous, but it is for three contracts (mine, my husbands and my youngest son's). They have well over 12 months to run so not able to be cancelled and changed to PAYG for while.

eta (again! sorry) - also didn't include my £600 overdraft (used fully) and my husband's £500 overdraft (also fully used).

Hope this helps
Mel

Oops just saw your comment about the mobiles...