funeral expenses

margaretclare

Hi homealone

I'm glad you've got everything sorted out to everyone's satisfaction and peace of mind. If your mum is going to be the third person in a three-person plot that certainly makes sense...but where is your dad buried? - wouldn't she want to be near him??

Could you perhaps reveal the cost of the pre-payment plan and what it actually covers, just to inform the rest of us? I'm sure the Co-op are well used to the idea of re-opening family graves, it can't be so unusual.

My husband's parents are buried at Bushey, near Slough. And he absolutely hates the place. All white marble tombstones and white marble paths, no grass, no trees, and when we visited them I wasn't allowed to take them any flowers - all we were allowed to do was to put a stone each on top of the grave to show that someone had been there. He says it gives him the creeps. What he wants for himself is as far from anything like that as possible, so when I found the idea of the bluebell wood, he said 'yes'!

Aunty Margaret

Ted_Hutchinson

margaretclare wrote:

Could you perhaps reveal the cost of the pre-payment plan and what it actually covers, just to inform the rest of us?

Co-op Funeral Plan is the link I provided in post 6 of this thread. Looks like somewhere between £1800 and £2300 for a range of different options. The brochure is downloadable if you've got adobe.

economiser

Interesting to hear of the green-burial idea. I am happy with the medical donation solution but Mrs Economiser is not so keen on the idea. So if I go first it looks like the former if not then the medical route will prevail.

margaretclare

Oh no, I would not like the medical donation idea. But I feel very strongly that the person/people who are left behind should do their best to carry out the deceased person's wishes. That way, there's a kind of comfort in doing what they would have wanted. This of course begs the question - what DID the deceased person want? Which is another thing that I feel very strongly - that everyone should leave clear instructions behind. When someone dies, and especially if it's the first time you've had to cope with such an occurrence, it's so much easier if you have at least an idea of what they preferred.

When I was younger this never occurred to me. But one day I happened to walk in on a heated argument between my mum and my aunt (the two people who brought me up). Mum was arguing in favour of cremation, my aunt in favour of burial. They both had their points of view. My mum went first and I was happy to arrange what she wanted. But I also added a church service and interment of her ashes in the grave where 3 generations of my family are now all buried.

If I hadn't heard them having that argument I would just have assumed (at that time) that burial in the churchyard was the only option. My aunt was a bit like I am now - wanted to be buried in a green place with trees and birds. It's an old country churchyard and as she said 'it was the most peaceful place she could think of'.

I've printed out details for https://www.green-burial.co.uk and have included them with my copy will, important documents etc. We are going to visit Herongate Wood soon, the bluebells should be out within the next couple of weeks.

Best wishes

Aunty Margaret

tonys_3

margaretclare wrote:

I started one of those a few years ago because I didn't want a medical. £24 a month would have paid just over £5K on my demise (I was in my early 60s when I started it). No matter how long I lived it would still pay the same amount. In 5 years, therefore, this plan cost me £1440. The only way you could 'profit' on this would be to die early on in the plan (well, not you, but you can see what I mean).
Aunty Margaret

I have just seen your posting on the subject of Cornhill over 50's funeral
expenses plan.My parents both subscribed,and it seems even taking into account that some people will pass away before their payments have covered the guaranteed amount,that Cornhill are doing very nicely out of this plan.
My mother is now in her early 80's,and has paid in much more than she will ever get out.

I have broached the subject with Cornhill,even suggesting that she make the policy paid up.No go-if she does that,they will not payout.

Does she have any other options?

margaretclare

I agree with you that Cornhill are doing very nicely out of this. As I said, I started it in my early 60s paying £24 a month to bring in £5000 or so when I die. If I'd died within the first couple of years that would have been a profit to my estate. I could have gone on paying £24 a month for another 20 years, until I'm your mother's age or older. 20 years would have made it £5760 and Cornhill would have been well in profit by then. It's not like the kind of policy that can be made 'paid-up' - once you stop it, you no longer get any benefits, all that money is just lost. At your mother's age she's unlikely to get a better policy that will pay out.

Incidentally, we've just been out to Herongate Wood Burial Centre. It was all locked up, but we could see it from the road (a narrow country lane). It looks absolutely gorgeous, deep in the countryside, with hedges laid in traditional manner, birds singing...We stopped for a drink at 'The Duke's Head', a nearby pub, and we raised a glass to St George!

We have promised to do this for each other, whichever one of us goes first, and we've informed all the relevant family members of our wishes, so that there need be no doubt or argument. Apparently a lot of the cost of a funeral is those huge black limousines, and at Herongate they say most of their mourners come in own cars, which is obviously cheaper.

Aunty Margaret

Lisa_H

Ok - so is the best option for my mother who is 67, in good health, NOT to go for one of these plans and pay into an ISA instead? I thought this would be really simple but there seems to be so many options open now for this.

margaretclare

Lisa_H wrote:

Ok - so is the best option for my mother who is 67, in good health, NOT to go for one of these plans and pay into an ISA instead? I thought this would be really simple but there seems to be so many options open now for this.

I would recommend that your mum goes for the ISA and just treats it as normal savings. These Cornhill-type plans are very well marketed and when you see someone like June Whitfield fronting it, you think 'well, got to be reputable'. But maybe not so cost-effective - not what it seems at first glance.

Your mum could easily live for another 30 years, with an ISA she can pay in up to £3K a year and pay no tax on the interest, and the money is there for whatever she needs it for. If she doesn't need anything then it can build up to pay for her funeral.

Best wishes

Aunty Margaret

Ted_Hutchinson

[font=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]CLICK HERE for FSA information on buying a Funeral Plan.[/font]
Funeral Planning Authority

Capyboppy

What is state of affairs or options if I wanted to do the following? As funerals are such high cost and also because of my beliefs, I would not want to use a funeral parlour in the normal traditional way. Everything would be done to save money. i.e. body taken from hospital by family friends to house. Own nature friendly coffin. Body to cemetary in friend or family estate car etc. But as there would be some costs such as the plot, I would like it that no one left behind has to worry about using their own money and trying to claim it back. Are there any funeral plans that would just allow say costs of a plot or cremation, and the rest released to the next of kin for any other costs on the day? Or does the plan have to be adhered to in the sense of the money being used for a typical traditional funeral. My mum before she died wanted something similar and we tried to keep to it as much as possible, with her being buried in a woodland cemetery etc. We found out after, that in a way we were taken advantage of in our grief and had things like £300 service charge to cover the body being taken from the hospital to chapel of rest, pall bearers, and so on. We had previously stated that we were doing a "do it yourself" funeral as much as possible, and I remembered being steered away from collecting mum's body from the hospital etc Now I know why. If we had totally done it as as "do it yourself" they would have got virtually nothing compared with normal.
If I were to buy a plot now and keep some money in a separate account for funeral expenses, this would not be accepted by the DHSS either. So any ideas would be appreciated.