Nuisance neighbour and useless council

abi-em-mum83

I dont see how I am being paranoid?
Becky they are both rented from the local authority. mum has lived there for 17 years, and never had a single problem. Her previous neighbours were elderly and infirm. When I lived there 10 years ago I was your typical noisy teenager, but the neighbours never had any problems with noise, or behaviour. And in fact the neighbour at the other side has said she has no problem.
To give you an idea of the mentality of this woman, she attempted to insult my sister by saying what kind of a mum goes off to work for 3 days and leaves her child with her mother (my sister works for ambulance service and is a single parent. My niece sometimes spends three nights a week at my mums house while my sister is working saving lives, on the very odd occasion her ex partner has conflicting shifts ). This in the neighbours mind is worse then having a child at 14 and leaving your child to be brought up by her mother, or having a cash in hand job on the side.
However the issues I have at the moment is not how to deal with the nutter next door, but issues over the councils handling of the matter.

Beckyy

Could your Mum not put her name down to swap houses, or look in a loca house exchange websites and move to another LA/HA house?

I understand she's ived there for a while, but it would be a solution to it all and she might find a nicer/cheaper house elsewhere anyway.

poppysarah

Your mum is her own worst enemy.

Not pressing charges in the first place showed weakness.
If she is lippy with the police she will be marked down as the trouble maker.

As with most councils - unfortunately - whoever gets in first with a complaint is listened to.

Your mum needs to stay calm and keep a diary of everything. She can start at the beginning of events.
She might be best moving as someone has advised although this isn't going to be easy for her and will cause more upset.

Being calm and not getting angry with the police is essential.

princeofpounds

I had a brief PM conversation with the OP and one relevant detail is that it turns out the 'abatement notice' was not actually an abatement notice. (I don't yet know what it actually was)

That would tend to imply that there is either no evidence against the OP's mother, or that the investigation has not concluded, as an abatement notice is what normally result when the problem is confirmed.

I also reassured her that pentalties typically start when an abatement notice is served and then broken, and that requires the involvement of a magistrate hearing and evidence to be produced. So it is not escalated enough to panic about the council.

That gives time to put together a diary, gather evidence and so on.

carefullycautious

Im afraid it sounds like a tit for tat situation of which the police and any anti social behaviour unit will have problems dealing with.

Your mum and family needed to keep calm and not retaliate in any way shape or form and keep a record of events. Not easy when someone is intent on screaming abuse at you.

It does sound as if your mums noise has aggravated the situation with this young woman.

abi-em-mum83

Hi yes I had got my wires crossed, they had not served an abatement order, they have asked my mum if she would be interested in a type of contract which basically states common sense things i.e they will not cause harrassment etc. Both parties would need to sign this.

The police have never been called against my mum, as there has been no threatening,abusive, behaviour (other than the false claim against uncle). Anytime police have attended it has been because of threatening and abusive behaviour from next door and her family (most recently with the threat to my sister, in front of my niece, that she will stab her blah blah blah, and then spitting on my mum.

This persons only complaint seems to centre around my mum playing country and western cd and singing along to it, always during the day. My brother regularly has the tv on loud and had previously played loud music for short period of time in the evening, but there have been no complaints about the LEVEL of noise. The complaints are centred over the type of noise, as she doesnt like my mums type of music! As for what started the trouble, your guess is as good as mine! My mums first sign of trouble was this girl attacking her. The day before that she had been over the fence thanking my mum for her christmas card and everything had been very friendly. They had even discussed my mums signing and Elle had said she had a lovely voice (she'd heard my mum singing away to herself doing the dishes, she was a professional singer so she usually hums away to herself without even thinking).
I should add that as with a lot of council built properties the walls are paper thin, to the point of being able to hear conversations spoken at a normal level, through the brick walls!

I agree my mum had done herself no favours in losing her rag and shouting at the police. And believe me shes kicking herself now. But in her defence she was inebriated (not a regular occurence) and it was the straw that broke the camels back. If the police had actually tackled the problem they had been called for, my mum wouldnt of been so distressed. But Im the first person to say she's put her case back by 10 steps now!

And yes she should of originally pressed charges, but by nature my mum is a very kind person, believes in second chances etc. Her words to the police officer at the time that even though she had some scratches and a black eye, there was no damage done. She actually took pity on the girl as she had just had a baby, and since they had been friendly, she never imagined she would be the victim of a campaign of terror!
Next door knows she has no real complaint against my mum, which is why she is constantly trying to provoke us all into violence, something we would never do. (she tried this with me when I was there, screaming at me from her garden,infront of my young children, that I was a fat s**g, and she was going to kick my head in etc). She is trying to get one of us to attack her, but we are not so immature to be provoked by her.

My mum keeps a diary of all incidents, and has even been writing down everytime she has her music on (she never watches tv).
Today she has spoken to the police about obtaining a copy of the recorded call where Elle is very clearly heard screaming threats and abuse, which she can use as evidence.

It certainly not tit for tat where my mum is concerned. She was willing to forget about being attacked! But this is a campaign of terror and bullying at its worst, and since her disabled son and grandaughter, neither adults who can defend themselves, are being affected. My brother will no longer go outdoors himself, and has been petrified to go to school, something he has always been happy to do, since he was cornered by Elles mother, threatened and called vile names (!!!!!!,mong and c*** to name two).

Surely the fact my mother was a foster carer, and later on adopted one of her foster children gives an indication of her caring, patient and law abiding manner.

However this Elle has done the same thing to a previous neighbour!

My mum has asked to be downsized or a transfer, she had asked for this before the trouble started, but in their area she could be waiting a long time, and when she asked if this would help her she was told not a chance. She does not receive any housing or council tax benefit (my father had an Army pension that she receives as his widow). As such she would never be able to afford a private rent.

Anyway I digress from the concern I am dealing with at the moment, that the council accusing her without being able to provide information. We are awaiting a reply from the council on their proceedure to get access to any information they hold on file (under data protection). I have told my mum that she is not to go into any of these meeting without them either being recorded, having a neutral third party attend, or her own representation (CAB have said they may be ableto attend any further meetings with her.)

If she is wrong she is wrong, but I wont have her victimised and wrongly accused. And I will make sure any investigations and judgements are conducted fairly and legally!

Emmzi

I'm really confused as I could swear I read a post just like this, with the same neighbor's name, about 3 days ago.

humantraffic

i'm currently going through my own situtation with my neighbours,

not to detract from the situation as the OP.
but there are two sides to the story with neighbours as both have separte lives. I moved into my new house in june last year, and since moving into my new house, with my noisy neighbour,
I have been off sick with stress for 4 months , halfway to losing my job, lost half my family, and now i'm looking for a new job. I couldnt sleep, due to the noise in my bedroom at night and my first christmas in my new house for me was ruined. with them calling me insults in my garden. and to my face and my family and even claiming their cat has more rights. and shouting on many occasions "i'll get them back for that, and chuck it over the neighbours fence- through the walls" whilst pretending to be great neighbours also- in which she lied about being half deaf- they just enjoyed loud tv. (they have been reported to the council and the police)

in my experience over the past 4 months..some people are just bullies. wanting to do wanting whatever they want. and i think thiers a bit of "i'll get them back for that" going on and this isnt the full story (not to cause offense), generally people lead separte lives and if people are complaining its loud, then its too loud.

i feel sorry for "elle", she must of had it tough, and must of pushed her too far (not that i condoe attacking people). Homes are very personal and people get very defensive.

(for example -my neighbour accused me of hating her cat - because i put trellis on the fences, not that she was spying on me or anythin?) so i had to ring the RSPCA who promptly laughed

my advice- back down before you lose everything and you have to move becase you are sick and tired of the bad memories

oh a note to OP...my neighbour that i have problems with has the arrogant attitude to that they have lived there 14 years so that means it gives people the right to do whatever they want?