Kids playing in our garden

heretolearn_2

Hi

We live in a very small street with lots of young families. Kids play out a lot with each other, which I think is great although they are right on top of us as we are basically a hammerhead cul-de-sac of about 10 houses so it can get a bit noisy. And I'm not really a fan of kids to be honest, but I do my best to be tolerant and friendly to them as I don't want to be the road grump. they are all nice mannered kids and it's a friendly road.
However I'm getting irritated with a couple of things:
1) Our house has a carport under our living room, which leads straight through into our back garden (imagine a built in garage without back wall and door). Now it looks like a perfect football goal so I can understand why they can't resist but I'm getting fed up with it being used in that way. I'm scared of my car (parked in the car port) getting damaged by the ball or a window broken, and the noise of it hitting the house is terrible. If I knock on the window or ask them to stop they say sorry and move away - but then they'll be back another time. It doesn't sink in to not do it at all.
2) the kids are coming into our garden to play. We have two problems - they can get in through the car port but worst it's a terraced garden at the back and the terrace leads straight to footpath level next to one of their houses, without a fence just a small hedge. Lots bushes on the terraced bit (which is about 4' high with a brick wall drop down into the main bit of our garden and 6' wide). We've never minded them playing about in the bushes but dropping down on to our lawn or coming in through the carport is taking the mick rather. and they leave rubbish, we've had wet toilet roll left by little girls who were 'making nappies' when OH found them, and now today there are football cards all round our garden table. I think the cheeky wotsits come in, sit down and make themselves at home!

I heard a lot of noise this afternoon and saw one kid in the bushes, one on our lawn, and one climbing out of the garden over the 6' wooden fence. Which is the worst thing really as we've just had to pay to get it repaired and he is quite a big lad, about 12 years old, and was pulling himself up holding on to the tops of the wooden bits. He might break it.

I'm also worried in case one of them has an accident and we are held liable.

I know the answer is to fence it all off but it's not as easy as that, we can't afford to gate off the carport for now but to be honest with you it should be pretty blooming obvious you don't walk through this into someone else's garden to play. the bit by the terrace would be quite hard to fence off effectively anyway, it's hard to describe, but there would be a weird gap between that fence and the normal existing fence, and unless we made it really high I think they'd just step over it anyway. there is actually a small wire fence on the terrace but they just step over. If we did put in a high fence we'll have an odd bit of 'dead ground' that would be about 6' x 6' and surrounded on all sides by 6' fences, like a box that wouldn't grow anything as no light, and no one would ever see or go in.

Sorry this is so long. So I need to talk to their parents I suppose. How do I do this without causing any tension or sounding like I'm being really petty or just horrible! the kids aren't really doing any harm, we've always been friendly, but it's just going too far now.

RAS

it is going to be much better to deal with this at the start of the Easter break than allow it to continue into the summer.

is there any way to put even a simple chain across the drive to indicate private property?

Try to split it into different issues

1. Using your carport as a goal post - risk of damage that you might need to reclaim from parents? Also noise from your point of view (after all that is why the parents have told them not to do it at home/
2. Garden fence - risk of damage to kids
3. Using your garden as a play area - simply not on - not surpervised.

Speak to the kids again and then speak to their parents.

Keep a record of every contact or incident so you have facts and stick to them.

Nicki

You aren't being either petty or unreasonable, and unless you have reason to know that the parents are horrid, I'd be surprised if they don't back you up. I wouldn't have dreamed of playing like this as a child, and would be mortified if my kids were doing it.

I don't think you have to make any excuses or give any reasons to be honest, but if you do, the fact that the kids are causing damage to your property or potentially doing so is enough, as should be the fact that you have asked them more than once not to come in but they have ignored you.

I've had to be quite stroppy with my neighbours about boundaries, as we've had a problem with people parking in our garden on more than one occasion, either blocking our car in, or preventing us parking ourself (on road parking is in very short supply on our road, but our garden is very clearly our property and not a public or even a shared parking space). I very quickly came to the conclusion that this was an issue that was important to me (I have a disabled child so easy parking for us, and constant access in case an ambulance is needed is an issue), and that the best way to deal with it was always to create a huge scene when it happens and be completely unreasonable, so that the word goes round that there is a mad old bag living in that house and it isn't worth the hassle of winding her up

heretolearn_2

Oh I'm already the mad old bag who's yelled at noisy neighbours - see my thread on the 4am party! But they were all transient type nuisance neighbours we were lumbered with in the lodging house next door, and these families are long term nice ones.

I wonder if the kids just aren't 'getting' the boundaries - they are all a little gang in and out of each others homes and gardens all the time and maybe don't quite understand our bit isn't included in that. I think I might take that line with the parents and see.

OH thinks I'm just being mean and what harm are they doing.

Nicki

At 12 though they should be. My DS is 12, and neither he nor any of his friends would have thought that acceptable for at least the last 4 or so years. Little ones maybe though.

POPPYOSCAR

RAS wrote: »

it is going to be much better to deal with this at the start of the Easter break than allow it to continue into the summer.

is there any way to put even a simple chain across the drive to indicate private property?

Try to split it into different issues

1. Using your carport as a goal post - risk of damage that you might need to reclaim from parents? Also noise from your point of view (after all that is why the parents have told them not to do it at home/
2. Garden fence - risk of damage to kids
3. Using your garden as a play area - simply not on - not surpervised.

Speak to the kids again and then speak to their parents.

Keep a record of every contact or incident so you have facts and stick to them.

Yes, I agree with all of this.

Speak to the kids and let them know if it continues you will have to speak to their parents that might just be enough to frighten them off.

POPPYOSCAR

heretolearn wrote: »

Oh I'm already the mad old bag who's yelled at noisy neighbours - see my thread on the 4am party! But they were all transient type nuisance neighbours we were lumbered with in the lodging house next door, and these families are long term nice ones.

I wonder if the kids just aren't 'getting' the boundaries - they are all a little gang in and out of each others homes and gardens all the time and maybe don't quite understand our bit isn't included in that. I think I might take that line with the parents and see.

OH thinks I'm just being mean and what harm are they doing.

I do not think you are being mean.

What if something were to happen to one of them? even though they are on your property you could be held liable.

Misstress

I've just had a child i dont know roller skate in through my front door down the hall through the kitchen and unlock the back door and let themselves out into my back garden while i was sat on my sofa! Oh and there goes another one!

heretolearn_2

what!? lol, that trumps mine!

picnmix

I'm with the others who would suggest words with the kids and telling them if they carry on you will go and see their parents. I understand that they may be tempted with the goal mouth/car port thing, but going into your garden - at any age that should be a no-no.

We had a problem with kids playing golf last week on the field next to our house, golf balls flying into the garden ( I have 2 little ones to worry about) so I told them to stop. The next day golf ball flies over into front and nearly hits my DH car so I went out and told them if they carried on I would be around to the mam and dads to let them know that I had asked twice for them to stop, this seems to have worked.

God alone knows what the poor cow's grazing in the fields thought as golf balls whizzed past their heads.

Misstress

heretolearn wrote: »

what!? lol, that trumps mine!

My daughters recently made friends with every child in the road and my house being in the middle seems to be where they all hang out!!! I dont mind too much cos its nice to see her happy and getting lots of fresh air but skating through the house when the side gate is open!! is taking the pee!