We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum... Read More »
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
New Dmp Mutal Support Thread
Comments
-
Morning.
Grrr read through some of the posts and am now humming Perry Como's Catch a falling star... put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day....
While trying to remember what the line thingy of liquid is called!! - Found it!!! MeniscusA meniscus (plural: menisci, from the Greek for "crescent") is a curve in the surface of a liquid and is produced in response to the surface of the container or another object. It can be either concave or convex.
PS. Although I know the Perry Como song I am under 35!!! - My dad used to play it and sing it!!working on clearing the clutterDo I want the stuff or the space?0 -
Morning all
had a bad night, no sleep until 4.45am and posted a rather lengthy, exposing history of my life to date on the forum. This morning do I regret it, yes probably, don't go in for exposure more self protection/preservation generally. The replies have been as I expected, why am I so useless at dealing with emotional things, it is so much easier not to deal with this and stay under my stone - omg what have I started!!! I feel completely naked and vunerable and scared what have I done????
Please forgive my wittering - I'm not sure how to proceed from here.
IDA
xxI stopped smoking 25th June 2007STILL Never complacent but confidentMy debt is GOING DOWN!!!!0 -
Ida - I have read your posting on the other thread, and i just felt compelled to answer but thought I would do it on this forum instead. You are sooo brave for revealling your past. Don't know if I could be as strong!!
I do not know you personally but just from our chats on here it is blatently obvious that you are an intelligent, strong, caring, and very amusing person. You have so many fantastic traits that are obvious for all to see.
I think you need to take some real time to look after you!!!
Being a mum is a hard job in itself, I know!! But with everything else you have had to cope with it is hardly surprising that you feel vulnerable. Please seek some form of counselling to deal with your past. I hope that then you will be able to gain strength to make any decisions about your future that you feel are right for you!!
Nobody will ever judge you, and as your self esteem begins to grow you may very well feel strong enough to deal with all the other things in your life that you would want to change.
Well done on going back to Uni. This is the start of the rest of your life, grasp it with both hands and find some happiness, You Deserve It!!!!
If you ever need to chat please feel free to PM me, any time.
All my Love and hugs:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
teecee xxDEBTS @ :idea: 1/1/07 - £25,800:eek: DEBT @ 04/05/11 - NIL
FINALLY DEBT FREE - 4TH MAY 2011:j:j:j:j:j
"PROUD TO HAVE DEALT WITH MY DEBTS"
Official DMP mutal support club member no 2 *DFW NERD 351*0 -
Thanks Teecee, I'm crying now and feel raw - the couselling sound like an obvious solution but how do I go about it - it makes me feel so weak and such a failure. Just don't know if I could tell it to a stranger thats why writing it down helped, it just seems so pathetic that its come to this. I feel guilty for exposing myself on here, guilty for hijacking the thread - I do guilt very well don't I!! Thanks again.
IDA
xxI stopped smoking 25th June 2007STILL Never complacent but confidentMy debt is GOING DOWN!!!!0 -
You have nothing to feel guilty about, we are your friends!!
This thread is the mutual support thread and thats what we are here for. If you don't want to discuss it here then Pm me anytime, I will always listen!!!
You have already made that first vital step, you are strong!! Keep reminding yourself of that because it's true!!!!
Don't know how you would go about counselling at Uni, maybe you might feel more at ease speaking to your GP and asking them to refer you. Ask at the uni or if I rember some one on the other thread was actually a university counsellor, maybe they may be able to tell you how to go about getting some help.
The most important thing now is to take care of you, I know I keep saying that but it's because it's true!!DEBTS @ :idea: 1/1/07 - £25,800:eek: DEBT @ 04/05/11 - NIL
FINALLY DEBT FREE - 4TH MAY 2011:j:j:j:j:j
"PROUD TO HAVE DEALT WITH MY DEBTS"
Official DMP mutal support club member no 2 *DFW NERD 351*0 -
Hello IDA, I just read your thread too and my heart goes out to you.
My sister was molested (rather than abused) by my uncle and I have never forgiven him for this. She told my parents at the time but they used the excuse that we were back home and no longer on holiday (he lives abroad), to do nothing about it. When I saw him a couple of years ago - the first time as an adult - I tried to bring the topic up. But I was shaking and if he knew what I was talking about, he pretended not to. Then when I got home I sent him an email which I knew his wife would see first. I said everything in it that I wanted to say as a child - and wished that my parents had. People were angry with me but I was happy I did it (and so was my sister) - it was so cathartic, even though the incident happened 15 years ago. My sister locked it away and forgot about it, whereas I wanted to punish him - my point is people deal with these things differently. If you feel you need to say something to your brother, even after all this time, you should - there's no reason to bring your parents into it and I doubt he will.
As for your husband, I agree with others on this site - you should leave him. It's easy for me to say - I don't have 4 children. But I don't think this man loves you and whatever you think you do deserve that. Learn to love yourself and the rest will follow, I promise. I'm not sure where you live, but where I live many of the houses on my road are council owned. They are side by side with the private properties. If you were to apply for council accommodation, it would not necessarily be on an estate. And with five people, it is likely you would qualify for a house rather than a flat. You should at least look into it. You seem very articulate to me and quite capable of arguing your case. I'm sure you could find the courage to leave him if you decided to. Yes, it would be an unheaval for your children, but children always know - they must see deep down you are not happy despite the facade you put on. In the long run it would be best for both you and them. But this is only my opinion - and only you can judge what is best for you.
Please speak to a counsellor. Give yourself some credit - you have opened up completely on this site. Lots of people are apprehensive about taking this step - but they will have talked to hundreds of people in similar situations. Nothing you say will shock them. Please look into it today. I'm sure your university will have a counsellor, as people have stated, talk to the Welfare Office or Student Union. Failing this, your GP can refer you to a counsellor too - but this may take time to arrange.
Let me know how you get on.I'm moving on up now,
Out of the darkness,
My life shines on, my life shines on, my life shines on
Member of Payplan since March 2007 (realistic debt free date May 2011):T
No 17 of the Mutual Support Club and proud of it0 -
Hi, I've been away for a while, and I can see the board has carried on moving without me. Needless to say I haven't got round to reading most of the posts, but ...
IDA - I'm sending cyber hugs to you. It really does look like your money problems are just a symptom of a deeper emotional distress. I can't advise you what to do about your husband (been there, though fortunately just the once) but all I can say is that you truly do deserve to have someone care for you unconditionally, in the way you care for him.
Please, do think hard about getting counselling, I think it would really help you to be able to speak openly to someone, like you have here, and get real human contact, instead of the virtual love we are all trying to send you.
lots of love xxx
db xxOfficial DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 360
Thrilled to be member 21 of the "DMP mutal support club" LBM - 21.03.05
Proud To Be Dealing With My Debts :T
Trying SO hard to be O/S0 -
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart - I'm truly moved by your support. True to form I'm now acting like everything is okay, down comes the veil of self preservation again. I WILL take all your advice on board and will do my best to be honest to myself and face the challenges ahead. My one experience of counselling (whilst pregnant with dd) through HR was awful and the poor girl looked terrified of my obvious distress and offered no advice just listened, but then I think thats what counselling is, which makes me doubt how useful it would be? In my head I set the perfect scenario where I reveal all to my DH and he is shocked but supportive and tells me how much he loves me (definately been watching to many old romantic movies - me thinks!!) and how sorry he is for all the hurt that he has caused me and then we all live happily ever after. I know my reality will be completely different and if I do actually reveal to him how I feel I'm likely to release the pent up hurt and anger toward him that will lead us on to a path of inevitable destruction. As a child all I wanted were my mum and dad to stay together and they did and still are, almost Darby and Joan like now they are both in their 70's, if I so desperately wanted my olds to stay together how can I subject my children to any separation - particularly as for them there are no warning signs, no rows and no falling out. Oh lord I'm off again really meant to keep this short so many things buzzing round in my head. Thanks again.
love to you all
IDA
xxI stopped smoking 25th June 2007STILL Never complacent but confidentMy debt is GOING DOWN!!!!0 -
Feel like my spiel has hijacked the club please don't stop posting your light hearted banter and I'm sure some want to chat - can't believe our club is on page 3!! Many thanks and love to you all - I'm okay and currently mulling over my options.
Love and hugs
IDA
xxx
PS: HSBC trying a different tactic - left a message today for me to call them .... grrrr!!!I stopped smoking 25th June 2007STILL Never complacent but confidentMy debt is GOING DOWN!!!!0 -
hi all
ida i have just read your other thread
you have had an awful life honey :grouphug: :grouphug: to u
but u need to tell your husband how he is making u feel:mad: and u can rant to us on here as often as u like thats why were here :A:grouphug: Member #5 of the DMP Mutual Support Club :grouphug:0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 351.3K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.2K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 453.8K Spending & Discounts
- 244.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 599.5K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.1K Life & Family
- 257.8K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards