Visiting someone in a nursing home

bump912

How often should someone visit an elderly relative with dementia who is in a nursing home?

Mojisola

As long as visiting doesn't upset them, as often as you want.

Certainly often enough to be able to check on their care and make sure they are happy, well-fed and cared for.

bump912

The daughter of the person in the home is visiting every day. It is putting a lot of extra strain on her visiting so often on top of working full time, and I've tried to tell her that visiting every other day or every few days would be often enough, but I think she is feeling so guilty about putting her in a home (despite the fact that it was for the resident's saftety), that she feels she can't go less frequently. Is every day too much?

gibson123

No every day is not too much, but why don't you have a rota with friends and family, and also make the visits very short (no more than 15 minutes)

Flower08

gibson123 wrote: »

No every day is not too much, but why don't you have a rota with friends and family, and also make the visits very short (no more than 15 minutes)

This is what we do visiting OHs grandad.
OHs grandad is in a home with dementia. He has a visitor everyday by a member of family, usually only for about half an hour and its not the same person going everyday.

jojo_2012_2

I think after an initial settling in period it would be reasonable to visit with the same frequency you did when they lived at home. If anything they're having more social interaction in the home as it is.

GobbledyGook

There is no 'should'. Everyday is fine if that isn't negatively impacting the person doing the visiting, however if it is then less is fine too.

When my Grandfather (like a Dad to me) was in a home I visited twice or three times a week. That was enough for me to feel like I hadn't abandoned him, but was enough that the stress (he had dementia and would get upset and cry constantly and it was heartbreaking) didn't drive me mad as I had a young baby and that situation went on for more than 2 years with him slowly getting worse.

seafarers_wife

We visited dh's gran once a week for about half an hour at a time, occasionally I would take her out for something to eat to a local cafe. Mil would visit every day when she was up but she wasn't local so it didn't happen very often.

Mojisola

bump912 wrote: »

The daughter of the person in the home is visiting every day. It is putting a lot of extra strain on her visiting so often on top of working full time, and I've tried to tell her that visiting every other day or every few days would be often enough, but I think she is feeling so guilty about putting her in a home (despite the fact that it was for the resident's saftety), that she feels she can't go less frequently. Is every day too much?

I think this is more a question of how often is right for the visitor rather than the person in the home and it sounds as if every day is too much for her.

cutestkids

It does sound as if your friend is putting herself under a lot of strain and stress because she feels guilty.

It may be worth trying to gently speak to her about it, she won't be any use to visit if she makes herself ill.

I would say during the settling in period perhaps 3 times a week and the after that 1-2 times a week.

alwaysbrassic

I used to visit my gran every 2 weeks until I became too upset by the dementia, and she used to pick up on my emotions. My dad, her son, used to go every day to try to get her to eat. I don't beat myself up though because out of 4 grandchildren, I was the only one to visit. My grandparents meant the world to me.xx