help! in major debt at 18 with 2 children too..dont know what to do!!

iwanttosave_2

Ok cashback thingies

thread for pigsback
This is updated daily with all the answers to the quizes that you can win piggy points for, plus you get click throughs on a monday for about 40-50p

massive thread full of sites that do daily clicks and how much you can earn from them daily.

Thats about as good as I get I'm afraid, but you are in fab hands with this lot. I can vouch for the nearly new sales mentioned above, I used them even when money wasn't tight because of how good they are.

Good luck to ya xxx

findingmyownway

I don't understand how you can still 'be together' with your childrens father. Does he pay maintainance (although i guess if u have 1 child in each house this would cancel out).

How old is you son? Why don't you have a job? Does your 'partner' have a job? If not, then couldn't one of you have both kids during the day and the other go to work? Do you have nursery/school/family/friends who could help with childcare?

As for your £200 food bill - is this just for you and your son? Can certainly be reduced a lot. Check out the old style board for help with starting to cook fro scratch and eating healthily yet cheaply.

Rachie_B

Mum_on_a_mission wrote:

Sending you BIG HUGS, and well done on facing this head on - it takes a lot of courage to do that.

Have you thought of contacting Home Start - they can help provide a little support and they should have a local branch https://www.home-start.org.uk/

Was about to suggest the same thing

I am a volunteer for Home Start, and they are a family charity that can offer help ranging from getting out and about in the community,accompanying you to toddler groups etc ,to being a friendly face / ear to listen when the going gets tough.
Most are parents themselves from all walks of life,experiences

also if you want to meet other mums in the area try https://www.netmums.com

A huge well done for coming on here and wanting to get yourself out of a hole.very brave

I was just 17 when I had my first son and its tough !

If you and your childs dad are still together after 3 yrs why are you having to come to an arrangement regarding maintenance ?

and have you thought about moving in together to save the cost of running 2 separate homes ?! You would spend more time with your daughter and maybe build up a better bond with her ?

Do get help for your PND ,chin up hun

liamsmum05

my sons father is different from my daughters father..they both hav diff dads my current partner is my daughters father,i personally think i shud be entitled to more maintenance as my sons father onyl declares so many hours a month which is obviously fiddling tax.

i already have a slow cooker just need lessons on how to cook properly as im not very experienced can cook a sunday dinner,spag bol etc..

im very interested on claiming my charges back off credit cards catalogues etc.. would reduce my debt by alot!

me and my partner are tlaking about moving in we have already lived together but it didnt work out so we are planning it all properly this time..ie i would have to be working and we would have to move.

my partner does work as a truck driver and works away alot.i only see him weekends mainly.his parents are basically prime caraers of my daughter.

i am currently looking for work but have tried to work out if i would be better off or not and at the moment is looking like i would be worse off.

my son has started pre school and goes 5 mornings a week.

and yes getting the catalogues at 17 would mean it was fraud i think but obviously littlwoods and lx direct didnt do checks properly,

i have recently been shopping at morrisons and gettin the bogof offers and saved more than i would at tescos.we only have an aldi,tescos,sainsburys,morrisons,kwik save,iceland and heron.

oakdale_minx....would i still be able to take your help on getting them charges and stuff sorted?? would be much appreciated!

di

Rachie_B

liamsmum05 wrote:

my sons father is different from my daughters father..they both hav diff dads my current partner is my daughters father,i personally think i shud be entitled to more maintenance as my sons father onyl declares so many hours a month which is obviously fiddling tax.

ah i see now

So how old is your son ?

do you have anyone who could help out with childcare if you were to work a few hours ? maybe in the evenings ?

liamsmum05

my son is 3..

see its very hard to get childcare babysitters without paying. as mum stepdad and brother live 3 doors away but are moving to malta on 1st june this year. my dad doesnt bother full stop, and rest of family either live far from scarborough or out of the uk.

if i had help and support id be able to work on an evening or weekends as i dont want to be stuck at home i want to make a career and be a better person.

southernscouser

liamsmum05 wrote:

can cook a sunday dinner,spag bol etc..

You can cook me a spag bol anyday hun!

Rachie_B

liamsmum05 wrote:

my son is 3..

see its very hard to get childcare babysitters without paying. as mum stepdad and brother live 3 doors away but are moving to malta on 1st june this year. my dad doesnt bother full stop, and rest of family either live far from scarborough or out of the uk.

if i had help and support id be able to work on an evening or weekends as i dont want to be stuck at home i want to make a career and be a better person.

have you thought about doing a college course ?

I got my childcare paid for and the course fees when i went to college after having my eldest son.

you will be getting some time to yourself whilst learning a skill etc in readiness for work

then when your son is in fulltime school you will hopefully be able to go and get some work ?

liamsmum05

i dont know what it is with me but i seem to start something and never finish it..i started a course at my local college twice the ECDL course (european computers driving license) and 1st time i enrolled while i due to drop with my daughter so didnt carry on and second time i found it very hard to get someone to looka fter liam as it was the business school they didnt do childcare so didnt carry on with that.but i really want to start again and get it done.

i forgot to mention that i found a way to get round paying for your statements claiming your bank charges back..if you can print out all your statements from online banking you wont have to pay the £10-15 for them. im with a company called licit legal and as im claiming back on 2 accounts with the same bank. i have just posted them off today so hopefully it should be done soon.

and i did go on national debt helpline website and got templates to write to my creditors and have posted 2 letters off so far hopefully il get a good response.

pubjoe

You already have lots of advice. I am just posting to give support.

You are starting out and finding your feet as a new family, and everyone I know is in financial trouble at this stage of their lives.

Me and my partner were in the same situation when we moved in together (while she was pregnant). She also suffers depression. In the early days, she worked at A&E in the hospital and I was main child carer, as well as college and part-time work at sainsburys (yuk)... While also intending to use time at home to work at freelance design.... HA! No chance... Knackered all the time... With a 1-old-Son?... That idea soon fell apart as I realised I could not make one single deadline. Shame really as my design "career" was in early stages of coming together when I was younger.... Building up word of mouth etc etc... But that's not important for now.

Anyway, because of various reasons. My Partner quit work and I started working in one single full-time job... Which only pays a little over min-wage, and I put an end to everything else. Simplifying our lives like this helped a lot and allowed us to focus better on finance without feeling swamped, it has been this way for almost 3 years now.

Our finances are in much the same state now, we have always been in debt since starting out as a family, incidently, I moved out of a family home always in debt too (due to my Mum's house being repossessed), so debt is all I've ever known, also through my life, I've always been very close to depression around me.. Maybe it's me!

But the big important thing is. Over the last 3 years, our finances have NOT got worse. I am very encouraged by that... and despite the fact I am paying my partner's loan each month (£220... crippling!) on top of a few monthly debts, I feel like I can keep us above water... Well, I know I can, because our situation is slowly improving.

I now live with a positive feeling of "I can do it!". That feeling didn't come overnight... Our money situatuation got worse, and then... stayed the same... (I would love to say it got worse and then got better). But the loan is stepping closer to end date each month and the bills are getting paid... And I am more than happy with our quality of life.

You are not alone. Early days and finding your feet. You incoming/outgoing is VERY close, finding a way to live to your means... And then when your ready, work on increasing your means a little. That's all it takes and we all find our way there in the end. ...And there's nothing wrong with living to your means.