help! in major debt at 18 with 2 children too..dont know what to do!!

yorkshirejen

Hi Liam's mum,

Just wanted to echo what the others said in welcoming you to the board. Whilst we (well, not me particularly!) can help you with your budgeting, the thing that leapt out at me was your PND. As SS said, you don't need to tell us anything about this, but please do make sure you are getting support from health professionals.

Best wishes
Jen

suki43

Hello Liamsmum!

You have definitely made a great move in coming to this site, as so many people on here offer great advice. Definitely do a full SOA as advised above.

List your debt in order of priority and contact the companies involved to see if you come to a mutual arrangement. People are more helpful than you think, as they know you cannot magic money out of the sky. If you don't contact them, they cannot help you and will assume that you are just not repaying what you owe them.

Immediate action plan: EBAY! I made £1000 in one month selling books, clothes, records and junk which was just collecting dust. You can get money for old rope on Ebay, as proven by the TV show that sold just that!. It will do you the world of good to see your auctions going higher, and what you can do with that money.

Post natal depression will not be helping at all and probably contributing to your feeling of being out of control. I would talk to your Dr about this as the longer you leave it, the longer you are delaying the help you are entitled to. Medication will help raise you to a level at which you can cope with the money matters.

I wish you all the best!

Sukixx

stebiz

southernscouser wrote:

Also catalogues! You want to give your kids the best. Thats great. But ditch those catalogues. What the wear isn't important. It means nothing to them. It's all about other peoples perceptions! B0llocks to them if they think they should be wearing designer clothes. They are clearly your vice! :doh:

Okay this isn't a forum for blame or anything - but like most of us you have obviously made mistakes. You need to learn by them.

I agree fully with southernscouser.
Providing your kids wear clean and ironed clothes for school that is all that important.
Providing you get them a nice hot meal of a night - that is the most important. Providing you spend valuable time with them - that is the most important.

All the other things are material stuff....................you sound a careing mum who is beating herself up at the moment because you can't give all you want to your kids. Sit back and take a deep breath. You will get some good advice on here.

Stebiz

suki43

Hello Liamsmum,

Other tips for you is to look at your small expenses? Are they all totally necessary? travel costs anywhere? Can you reclaim any bank charges? Can you work in the evenings part-time at a local shop/off licence without losing any benefits and do you have a family member who could look after the children while you work? Do you buy food items specifically for the children when you could buy the same items for all of you?

The reasons I am asking this is that I had to look at similar expenses and took action. Quit smoking saving £100 per month, working from home - minimal petrol costs (saving £120 per month), make own lunches (saving £100 per month). I know everyone's circumstances are different, but it's often the smaller expenses and the regular taken for granted expenses that could offer you some means of cutting your monthly costs.

Sukixx

MCBIRNIE25

Welcome to the board. There is a lot of support here. I would speak to the C.A.B. and ask them to pay your creditors £1 a week as a token payment, it is obvious you cannot afford anymore. Please don't let Debt Collection Agiencies bully you, they have no power apart from being able to shout down the phone. You can also reclaim the charges your creditors have added on if they are unreasonable. I would get over to the ocnsumeractiongroup website and have a mooch on the debt thread.
I hope everything goes well.

abbecer

Welcome to the board OP. Lots of good advice already given. I too suffered post natal depression twice. Second time i was very nearly sectioned due to planning my suicide. I don't think that any of your other problems will improve vastly until you take control of your depression. Admit you need help. When your depression starts to lift(which it will with the right support) you will feel stronger to deal with everything else. Good luck to you and your family. Things will get better it just doesn't seem like it at the minute.

Hugs

Rebecca x

Bunnyinthelights

Can anyone more experienced guide the OP to help claiming back some of the charges she has incurred? A lot of what she owes is late payment charges etc.
It's not my area of expertise (only spending money I don't have is...;))
Bunny

MCBIRNIE25

The late payment charges are claimed back exactly the same way as bank charges. Youfollow the same process, Send offfor a subjct Access Request and take it from there. If i personally was the op in this thread, i would be making a CCA request to all the creditors here, enclosing my £1, this would buy the op some breathing space if CCA agreements could not be produced, which is unlikely with catalogues.
I don'ttmind helping with this if the op wants to drop me a message.

TescoMum

Hi Liamsmum!

You've had some good advice already - here's my twopennworth...

When prioritising your debts catalogues usually come bottom of the pile and you should be able to pay them just £1/week each until you are better in control of other bills.

This will allow you to make a better offer to those at the top of the list.

Those who shout loudest aren't always the most urgent to be paid - although it may feel like it!

Just starting to look at your debt can make you feel more in control and that is the key - feel in control of your money and you start to feel in control of your life. Other things will start to fall into place then too...

Good Luck,

TescoMum :-)

Ex-Spendaholic

Hello and welcome

I know it seems the end of the world right now but you've come to the right place and the lovely people on here will help you.

Do bin the book clubs. You don't need to buy books for children. Get them free from the library. These book clubs may appear to offer bargains but in reality they don't.

Get everything you don't need and get it on ebay. Kids clothes do well on there. Join Quidco, Pigsback and other cashback sites. You will be able to earn money just for clicking on sites each day.

Consider accepting clothes from people whose kids have outgrown them. Also make full use of freecycle.

I've nothing useful to say but just wanted to send you a big hug and wish you all the best. Do go and see your GP or Health Visitor about your depression though. You clearly need help.