Can u make ur 17 yo leave home?

shandyclover

Basically I'm asking for a friend, where she should go for advice in asking her son to leave home. He's 17 1/2 - can she legally do this?

To give you some background, he has stopped going to college, refuses to get up, steals from her, will not wash and treats his room like a pigsty. Today he threw her laptop across the room.

This friend of mine is a single mother with 3 other children and also a grandaughter living with her. She is disabled and fights long term depression. All her other children study/have jobs/contribute eitheir financially or otherwise to the household.

tanith

I think Parental responsibility ends at 18 , after that she can ask him to leave I think.. someone with more info will be along I'm sure..

Newly_retired

Recently I met a 17 yr old lad whose mum had thrown him out.
He was sleeping on various relatives' and friends' floors.
As he had health problems he was able to get benefits and help with housing but that is exceptional.
So yes, his mum had thrown him out and nobody had forced her to take him back.

vintagebrighton

AFAIK a parent has no legal responsibility for a child after the age of 16. They can be 'encouraged' to maintain them but not forced.

A very sad situation for them to be in. Is your friend getting any help?

BEAR

Yes she can tell him to leave. The council will house him. the first place would be emergency accomodation usually a b & b. Some cities have a foyer . This would give him a room and 2 meals a day, but he would have to stick to the rules or he could be thrown out of there and end up in another. He would be entitled to income support which is around £53 the foyer would take a good portion of this for rent. If he ends up in a b & b he would have to pay around £15 out of the IS as the housing benefit doesnt usually cover all of the fee

some councils will allow 17yr olds a tenancy. first 6 months is a trial. grants are available to kit it out, a decorating voucher given £125 and various furniture charities can also help. Most councils will have an organiation that will help this process but they are quie strict and if he messes them around they will close their file

So if he did get a flat he would get his rent and council tax paid plus IS of £53 out of which he would have to pay everything else ( gas and elec would be on a meter and water paid via a payment card)

Hope this is of help please pm if you need to know anything else. Please tell your friend to have a look at the gotateenager forum on familylives website.......she is NOT ALONE!!

I realy feel for her..please pass on my best wishes

sweetme

Up here, Scotland, from the age of 16 you have no legal responsibility for your children and yes you can ask them to leave.

Queries

If your council still has an housing advice centre, she could 'phone them. She could also contact Shelter for advice. Plus, she could contact the Citizens Advice Bureau. (If she has access to the internet, she may be able to get advice through the organisations I have mentioned.) I wish her the very best of luck.

ska_lover

I think that parents should not throw kids out - Unless there is a serious serious reason like violence etc. - apart from the stealing from his mother, and destroying her property, the rest of it is pretty normal teenage stuff. Throwing him out will destroy his life. It may seem easy for me to say all this, as I dont have to live with the lad

People should not wash their hands of their kids when the going gets tough and expect society/the DSS to clear up the mess I am afraid, parenting doesn't end at age 18

I talk with experience on this, as was ejected from the family home at age 15 for a minor misdemenor, and it did destroy my life for some years. To find yourself homeless as a teenager, with no money, no foundation in life, and absolutely no chance of continuing in education is soul destroying and leaving a teenager wide open to be taken advantage of. It took years before I could look my mother in the eye and even though she apologised a few years later,I figured she must have really hated me to have wanted to ruin my life and as a grown adult, she would have realised what she was doing and what would happen. I still wonder what might have been , had I been given the opportunities in life, the education etc before being kicked out on my ear

I beg your friend to not do this, as the lad will resent her forever - and to seek alternative methods of dealing with the lad.I cannot suggest these as I dont know the situation etc other than what you have said. Kicking him out will 100% definately NOT improve his life/oppurtunities for the future

I see that it isnt easy for her living with a teenager like this, and three kids along wtih her disabilities though, so I really do not blame her for feeling like this - a lot of parents threaten it, but do not do it. I myself have a teenage lad now, and know the ups and downs can drive you wild and do empathise with your friend

Mupette

I left home of my own free will when i was 17, this was back in 1987

My mum claimed i couldn't leave, although i had checked with the police and they had said 16. Told her this, she had no choice but to let me go.

Perhaps your friend can find some help for the teen, maybe connextions, or help him sort some housing out rather than throw him out, if he gets accommodation, council will only give bedsit, if he keeps it like a tip, his problem not her's

HappyMJ

ska_lover wrote: »

I deeply disagree- I think that parents should not throw kids out - Unless there is a serious serious reason like violence etc. - apart from the stealing from his mother, and destroying her property, the rest of it is pretty normal teenage stuff. Throwing him out will get revenge, yes - but it will destroy his life.

You cannot go from zero disclipline for years and years to suddenly throwing kids out on to the street. At 17 1/2 imho he is not old enough to look after himself and will only be a burdon to some other sucker. People cannot wash their hands of their kids when the going gets tough and expect society to clear up the mess I am afraid

I talk with experience on this, as was ejected from the family home at age 15 for a minor misdemenor, and it did destroy my life for some years. To find yourself homeless as a teenager, with no money, no foundation in life, and absolutely no chance of continuing in education is soul destroying.

I beg your friend to not do this, as the lad will resent her forever - and to seek alternative methods of dealing with the lad.I cannot suggest these as I dont know the situation etc other than what you have said

I see that it isnt easy for her living with a teenager like this, and three kids along wtih her disabilities though, so I really do not blame her for feeling like this - a lot of parents threaten it, but do not do it. I myself have a teenage lad now, and know the ups and downs can drive you wild and do empathise with your friend

It might destroy his life but it might also make him turn his life around. He may learn to take some responsibility for himself. I would do it if he was stealing...not just a few quid though but throwing a laptop across the room would be overstepping the mark and kicking him out would be an option. He'll be housed in emergency accomodation, he'll get JSA if he's looking for work which at that age is not much so he might just be encouraged to return to college or get some sort of job.

Agree with everyone else though if he's left school at 16 and the parents are getting no financial support any more then it's only morally that they have to after him. They can ask him to leave.

lalaland11

That poor lad, i think his behaviour is just a part of being a teenager. I was thrown out at 16 and have to say its extremely hard to survive at such a young age. I was placed in a b&b, recieved benefits of £35 a week, had to pay £15 to council towards b&b so was left with £20 a week for food etc.

I think the decision to throw him out should be considered carefully and should be a last resort

As his mother surely she would rather try and help him and not just wipe her hands of him an cause him to be homeless?