Discovered Girlfriends payday loans. Help!

immoral_angeluk

Don't bail her out. She won't learn anything other than that you'll bail her out when it happens again. Let her deal with CAB, and just be there for her emotionally, not financially.

On a different note, are you on Contribution based JSA? If it's income based and you live together, do the DWP know about her earnings?

paydayproblems

No we don't live together, nor does she provide me with any money as you might imagine.

paydayproblems

"hi some on here are saying 'she must have something to show for it' i suspect most is interest that has spiralled.
plus on £700 a mnth for TWO people, (well she would have been supporting you too) is nothing so maybe she needed it at the times.
i think you both need to talk as YOU haven't got your prioties right, buying an engagement ring when your on JSA is laughable, and you wonder why your partner is in debt. Whose paying for the wedding?"

People are quick to talk, arent they?

Firstly, We don't live together nor does she support me on any financial basis. I supported myself as a mature student through university.I was on student loans etc until September last year and worked part time at various points too while at college.

Secondly, she works full time and is on £1100pm now, £800pm before that. So not great wages but that is HER money, nothing to do with me.

Thirdly, as I said I was selling off some bikes I bought while at uni and trying to save up what I could so ring was paid off rather than get in debt, while I look for a job. So that as soon as I get a job I can start saving for the wedding and get a house for both of us sorted. I have no other debt bar my student loan. Nor do I want any.

I worked and had never signed on before starting university at 29, I also am doing my damned best to get off JSA.

TTC40

Money problems when you are young doesn't mean money problems forever - especially with guidance!

In his 'younger days' my OH went bankrupt due to bad money management/ living a life he couldn't afford/ losing his job.

When we met, he had (IMO), some strange approaches to money. i.e. had savings yet was paying interest on a credit card balance.

We now have a secure financial future & very few financial worries (although winning the lottery would be good!)

Things/ people can change!

paydayproblems

To be honest this is going to be a harsh lesson learned I hope. I just want to make sure she pulls through this and she avoids going bloody bankrupt!

Timmne

I would try and cut the umbilical a little - I've been through this in the past with my wife (then girlfriend) and it's a pathalogical thing. We earn in excess of £80k between us but she still is terrible at managing money.

I know that it'll happen in the future again, as it's almost a disorder she has! The thing that keeps me calm is that there are always avenues to go down should she have to admit another debt, such as savings, good credit rating should we need to borrow and assets to sell.

You just need to (after sorting this out) make sure she's never backed into a corner financially (i.e. make sure she's not having to pay for things that seem out of her comfort zone, which will inevitably build up more debt) and that you - or rather she - has a route out of it.

Like I say - with these people it's a deep down thing and I doubt will ever change regardless of actual affordability!

paydayproblems

I want a big lesson learned about hiding debt, this could have been sorted long before this, if she hadn't hid it.

The rates on some of this credit are insane. It really shouldn't be legal, cyber loan sharking. I'm just hoping they see sense that making her bankrupt won't get them their money. Failing that it'll be her folks to avoid the courts.

quantic

People do this sort of thing for different reasons, I tend to find its either because they "feel they deserve it" - the "it" being something they cannot afford and justify it by some false sense of hard work or whatever.

Alternatively, you have people who when put in an awkward situation, lack of funds for things they actually need, but react to the situation badly and choose any option to get out of the issue.

Your girlfriend sounds like the latter from what you have said. Doesn't sound like she's lent a lot of money but has just done it in a way which is very expensive. If you react well to this she will feel less inclined to hide things of this nature from you in the future.

In my option, £3000 is a trivial amount of money in the grand scheme of things and is certainly not worth breaking up over, if her reasons where genuine struggle.

Thegirl

Speaking as someone who had debt problems that were huge when younger, don't pay them off for her, she needs to organise this herself. I would even be reluctant to get the parents to pay unless they are going to make her pay them back (or unless she's facing bankrupcy). It's a hard lesson, but one she has to learn or she'll do it again and again. That's not meant as a critisism, just the way it works.
I'm in debt again now myself (albeit much more manageable, no defaults and with a clear repayment date in mind for the future) and I know this will be the last time. But it's taken a lot of falling off the wagon in between to get here.
She's lucky to have someone like you being supportive of her in this situation. She was clearly ashamed of what she was doing which is why she was hiding it.

paydayproblems

Basically I've said I want to see what the repayment plans are from the various Lenders following the cab letters. If this is at a manageable level that she even stands a chance with and whether they have stopped adding interest.

£3k isnt a huge amount but at £600-£700 monthly interest she is at tipping point of being able to pay rent and travel to work and still eat, it tips much more and shes not able to afford to pay the interest. Its either loan from parents or bankruptcy. I'm not having her end up bankrupt when there are other options.

I'm annoyed its gotten to this, but at the same time we have no time for feelings like that when things need dealt with.