Discovered Girlfriends payday loans. Help!

paydayproblems

Bit of a bombshell tonight. I was a mature student and recently finished my degree. I had been quietly saving whilst on JSA to pay for an engagement ring as I have really struggled to find any kind of work (I have never been on JSA before this!). Just so that it was all paid off and no debt, that once I got a job we could start saving for wedding etc. I had also sold some quite expensive old bicycles I had collected whilst I was a student to put towards it.

I have just discovered that my girlfriend owes nearly £3000 in payday loans. Ironically I just mailed the jeweller tonight to say I had the money for £500 worth of diamonds for the ring as I sold the last of my bikes.

Her wages after rent and travel (needs train to commute) are about
700pm (obviously food, electric etc all need to come out of that.

She doesen't know that I know, I knew she was hiding something and went and looked in her emails. We have been together nearly 5 years.

I am totally in shock. I can't believe she kept this from me and things are this bad. The interest alone on this debt monthly must be huge. I just can't believe the money I have been saving for a ring, I will now have to loan her to try and sort out this debt. Its essentially loan sharking.

I can maybe put £1000 on my visa and maybe try and get a budgeting loan too, this may be £35 a month interest but its a hell of a lot less than they will charge. That still leaves £2000!

Her parents are reasonable well off, I'm hoping they would maybe be willing to do the same as me, and that would bring it down to £1000 that she would have a reasonable chance of clearing over the next few months.

One loan alone, is £400 pounds for a month @£156 a month interest!

Unless something gets done she will be bankrupt within months. I cant believe this has been going on and she didn't tell me.

sharpy2010

Personally I don't think I'd bother, and I'd be showing a clean pair of heels, but good luck whatever you choose.

paydayproblems

At the end of the day it's the woman I want to marry. This cant go on though.

Going4TheDream

I would be asking myself what else is she hiding from you.

Relaionships are about trust and communcation and sharing common values and are the corner stone for building a solid relationship.

Doesnt seem that she follows any of these?

I hope you sort it out what ever you choose to do, I am not sure personally I would be taking on the responsibility of someone elses debt though.

paydayproblems

I think she has gotten herself into situation she thought she could manage and its just spiralled and was too ashamed to ask for help or talk about.

I just need to have it out with her how bad its gotten. The interest on this a month compared to a normal loan must be insane, 600-700 a month in interest?

paydayproblems

Calmed down a bit.

I'm just thinking maybe we could talk her folks (they are pretty well off so it wouldnt be a problem) into getting a £3000 loan that she pays off over a term of maybe three years. That would be only maybe £100ish pm and the situation resolved and still leave enough to live on. The interest on that kind of loan would be something like one months interest at present.

Can't believe this to be honest.

jon142

I think it's easy to jump and say " she's not telling you the truth dump her "

I think you need to approach this carefully, you've obviously gone into her emails to see this now as soon as you tell her about these loans she is going to immediately jump defensive and say " what were you doing going into my emails " etc etc... So it's up to you how you want to "approach it "

Have you noticed any large purchases coming in? Laptops or cars? holidays? She must have done something with the £3000. Unless its to supplement her lifestyle over the last couple of years?

personally... I would blag her and say a phone call came today from a payday loan company you dont have any do you? give her the chance to own up and confront it with you. Ans then if she starts lying then... See how long it goes on for it's not debt in your name so I wouldn't worry to much

Never be to quick to jump with your card and pay it for her tho because then its your debt. And what stopping her applying to payday loan companys again? And in that position you owe thousands on your cards and she owes thousands more again....

you need to approach this as carefully as possible!

WRINKLES

If i were you i would get her to talk to her parents then let her pay them back if they will help / if you take on the responsibillity for her debt by loaning or giving her the money then what will you do if this or something similar happens again / i think you know what you have to do / do not let your feelings for her make you do something you may regret / try to imagine how you would advise a friend who told you this story .

TTC40

Others have commented on she must have something to show for £3k. We all know that money spent doesn't always mean an asset at the end. Also she may have only borrowed a much lesser amount & the rolling interest has escalated the debt quickly.

She's lucky to have a supportive & practical boyfriend.

Good luck with the discussion. Likely to be some tears but hopefully it will be a weight off her mind knowing there is a path to clear the debt.

angelbob

hi some on here are saying 'she must have something to show for it' i suspect most is interest that has spiralled.
plus on £700 a mnth for TWO people, (well she would have been supporting you too) is nothing so maybe she needed it at the times.
i think you both need to talk as YOU haven't got your prioties right, buying an engagement ring when your on JSA is laughable, and you wonder why your partner is in debt. Whose paying for the wedding?

paydayproblems

I've spoken to her she has admitted the debt, says she has spoken to CAB this month and sent letter to all the companies concerned, I presume its some kind of template looking for a repayment schedule agreement. I've said I want to see all of these and start spreadsheeting all of this. Unless they freeze interest and lower amount at minimum, thats still not going to do it.

I think this debt has accrued over a number of years.

she was only earning £800 for a while and paying 4-500 in rent and travel for a while leaving very little, I think what has happened is paying off one payday loan with another or deferring the balance and its slowly grown over time leaving less so borrowing more ending up in this insane situation.

She doesen't, smoke, gamble, drink very much. There just isn't the assets around even. Just too much month and not enough money and then borrowing making it worse.

Unless she has even a vague way she can work herself out of this mess, I think it might have to be folks time. Not sure even how that would work out. Depends if she has any choice.