Cost of home care for 88 year old

margaretclare

cepheus wrote: »

Mum is reluctant to go into care home if that's what you mean, rather have me looking after her full time!

She has developed jaundice now, so that may influence the assessors on Thursday. She may even be admitted into hospital which will settle care short term, although very worrying from a health point of view..

She cannot have you 'looking after her full time'. That's completely unrealistic. No one person can do that 24/7. It just won't happen.

Jaundice....possible liver damage? http://www.britishlivertrust.org.uk/home/the-liver/liver-diseases/alcohol/symptoms.aspx

I don't suggest that your mother's problems are down to excessive drinking. The jaundice may be from some other cause affecting the liver. The underlying reason for the jaundice can only be investigated and treated in hospital. As you imply, the 'care' problem can be put on to the back-burner.

cepheus

I suspect it is a gallbladder problem, she has been unable to eat a great deal and has difficulty going to the toilet. The jaundice has only come over the past few days so I suspect when the doctor sees her again, he may put her into hospital.

margaretclare

cepheus wrote: »

I suspect it is a gallbladder problem, she has been unable to eat a great deal and has difficulty going to the toilet. The jaundice has only come over the past few days so I suspect when the doctor sees her again, he may put her into hospital.

You may be right. It could be a gallstone blocking the bile duct. If so it is treatable. The best, the only place, for her is hospital.

fogartyblue.

I had a similar situation with my dad. Mum needed help looking after him, but as he was not categorised as being in imminent danger the council/social services said that as mum seems to be coping, there are more desperate cases that do require intervention as there is little money to go round.

Oh yes she was coping, dad was awful to live with. Mum had the bruises to show!!!

Council/SS just said he wasn't a priority. It came to a head some weeks later when he found wandering the streets and had to be restrained by the police.

He was assessed as needing a care home for his social needs.
Then the council/SS/NHS said that we/mum/him was responsible for the cost of that care full time!!

All in all, we have never had a penny towards his care, everybody washed their hands of him and no one offered to help.

margaretclare

fogartyblue. wrote: »

I had a similar situation with my dad. Mum needed help looking after him, but as he was not categorised as being in imminent danger the council/social services said that as mum seems to be coping, there are more desperate cases that do require intervention as there is little money to go round.

Oh yes she was coping, dad was awful to live with. Mum had the bruises to show!!!

Council/SS just said he wasn't a priority. It came to a head some weeks later when he found wandering the streets and had to be restrained by the police.

He was assessed as needing a care home for his social needs.
Then the council/SS/NHS said that we/mum/him was responsible for the cost of that care full time!!

All in all, we have never had a penny towards his care, everybody washed their hands of him and no one offered to help.

Are you saying he was violent to your Mum - you mentioned her bruises almost in passing, as though they weren't important!

In that case SHE was the one who was in imminent danger, not him - why didn't anyone pick up on that?

meer53

My MIL pays £118 per week towards her care home as she doesn't have any assets. This is paid from her pension, leaving her a small amount of spending money each week. She has a small amount of savings, about £5k in a building society account which is there for emergencies etc. She says it's for her funeral !

It must be so stressful if you have to fund this yourself

fogartyblue.

margaretclare wrote: »

Are you saying he was violent to your Mum - you mentioned her bruises almost in passing, as though they weren't important!

In that case SHE was the one who was in imminent danger, not him - why didn't anyone pick up on that?

Yes he was, for about the final year that he lived at home. I think what they meant when they said he wasn't in danger, was that there was someone with him 24/7 to make sure he didn't do anything silly.

Mum has always played down how dad was. She knew he didn't mean it and that it was the illness that caused him to be that way. She never blamed him and would still defend him now.

I knew nothing about the bruises until much later after he was placed in the care home. It just slipped out one day when mum was complaining about not being able to lift something in the kitchen. Her right arm has become weakened.

Mum would have felt awful if she had told anybody about it. I even see that it was never intentional.

Even if she had have said something, the last thing she would have wanted was to have dad branded as a wife beater!

If the Council/SS had been informed I can't see that anything would have been different. They did assess him but were satisfied that he was safe where he was at home.

Reading between the lines, and from what they have said in the past, there just wasn't the money or the resources to deal with everybody.

Yes I do feel a little let down for mum's sake. She loves him and now he has been taken away from her. She's had no help or support after he left, it was as though the Council/SS had done what they had to and moved off to the next case, leaving a family torn apart. Hence the reason why she spends so much time with her sister as company for each other, and consequently has caused a major financial headache.

fogartyblue.

meer53 wrote: »

My MIL pays £118 per week towards her care home as she doesn't have any assets. This is paid from her pension, leaving her a small amount of spending money each week. She has a small amount of savings, about £5k in a building society account which is there for emergencies etc. She says it's for her funeral !

It must be so stressful if you have to fund this yourself

Thanks it is.

Dad worked hard all of his life and they eventually paid off the mortgage.

Now mum is left on her own not really knowing whether their home will be there for her. Approx £50,000 a year is being taken off the value of their home. In three years time they will have wiped off about £260,000 of equity and there will be about £23,000 left in value - then we have been told dad will have to move as the council will not fund the amount we are paying.
We just hope and pray that the council will not force a sale whilst mum is alive.
Fun and games to come.

It does sometimes feel that there is no point in saving or buying your own home, as the leeches will eventually take it back from them and us.

cepheus

I'm afraid my Mum was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer today, it explains all the symptoms she has complained of for the past 6 months. The prognosis is terminal of course, but they will operate on Wednesday to prolong it or minimise the pain. I'm not sure how that changes the care plans, and whether she stays in Hospital or not.

cepheus

At times like this, no doubt costs become a secondary concern. However, I asked the nurse on the line whether I could call my mum, she later said it may be better for her to call you due to costs of the call. Presumably they have a telephone near their beds such as this.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/15/hospital_charges/


Are these companies taking advantage out of grief?

I asked friends to send her mobile, are these allowed for patients? Unfortunately, she has never used it (she hates them) and it didn't work anyway when we tried it after several years of inactivity.

I noticed when my Father was in hospital many years ago the private TVs also cost a bomb to run!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/technology-science/patients-boycott-hospital-tv-and-phone-137434