What am I doing to my marriage?

pukkamum

Think of it as a crush, the same you may have had on a teacher at school, you know nothing will ever happen but you can enjoy the fantasy.

Enjoy the flirting and attention but just enjoy it for what it is, to take it further when you clearly love your husband would probably be the biggest mistake of your life.

If possible i would suggest steering clear from this chap as much as you can, and if you have to see him and feel tempted just imagine your husband finding out and truly try and feel the emotions etc it would bring.

BenjaG

holly10 wrote: »

I need advice

It started as a drink fueled joke and now my head is going mad, I love my husband so should not even be thinking like this.
Its just lust I suppose but need a bit of advice

Work from home and stop drinking socially. It seems it takes you over.

Pollycat

Title of your thread:

What am I doing to my marriage?

I don't think you even needed to ask this question.
I don't think you even need to ask for advice.

You know what you are doing to your marriage.

You are putting it at risk for a few cheap thrills and a bit of flattery.

Carry on as you are doing and people will probably get hurt, definitely your husband, maybe even you.

You are risking doing permanent damage to your livelihood and possibly changing the whole course of the rest of your life.

Stop it now!

pearl123

OP - is it worth wrecking your marriage for a bit of excitement that probably will not last. You did say he was immature.

pinkshoes

It's a crush! You'll soon get bored of him and realise he's not your type whatsoever and be grateful you didn't do anything with him!

I always get silly crushes, no idea why, as I love my OH to pieces - but I just do! I had a crush on this guy at work a while back, obviously nothing happened, not even flirting, but now I look at him and think ewwww, what was I thinking?!?! I now have a crush on this guy who's about 10 years younger than me. I'm quite sure in a few weeks time I'll also be thinking "ewww, what was I thinking?!?!?".

Perhaps it just adds a little excitement into life?!

So no dipping your pen in the company ink, except with the boss, given you're his wife

cheepskate_2

This is a power thing for the guy.
You are the bosses wife.
Boss has control over him, he can never have control over his boss.....
Having these flirts with the bosses wife, especially in front of everybody gives him power........and he is really putting your husband down,- in a passive aggressive way.

If you really want your husband to be a laughing stock of his own company then carry on......you have everything to loose, this guy has nothing really to loose as he can just move jobs, with a bigger ego

BugglyB

cheepskate wrote: »

This is a power thing for the guy.
You are the bosses wife.
Boss has control over him, he can never have control over his boss.....
Having these flirts with the bosses wife, especially in front of everybody gives him power........and he is really putting your husband down,- in a passive aggressive way.

If you really want your husband to be a laughing stock of his own company then carry on......you have everything to loose, this guy has nothing really to loose as he can just move jobs, with a bigger ego

This is exactly right. Imagine how you would feel if your husband was having a flirty affair with a young secretary at your company and everyone knew about it. Humiliating.

Mara69

I am sure this young, immature man would love to have a go at the bosses' wife - because of who you are. Utter humiliation for your husband - who you are supposed to love.

holly10

Thank you all for your messages, its just what I needed to give me a kick up the backside and to realise I am married, happily and love my husband.

savingmummy

holly10 wrote: »

Thank you all for your messages, its just what I needed to give me a kick up the backside and to realise I am married, happily and love my husband.

This says it all! Your happy and in love SO this guy is just a `flatterer`.
As others have said you are the bosses wife and for this guy its a power thing, he really is immature and a waste of space!
Make it clear in future your not interested by showing no signs of feeling happy around his petty flirting, if you smile or act coy he may well feel his `winning`. My mum always said never feed the vultures LOL!!