Why do I Always Feel Like I Have No Money!!

straightandnarrow_2

Hi everyone,
I'm a newbie and have been reading this thread with interest. I've been there with the debt thing and even though now I don't have any debts, I too feel skint all the time. One reason is my inability to get credit, but the other thing is that after reading Sue's details I think I should be able to save like she does, but I don't. Me and OH have about the same income as turnaroundsue. but never have enough for holidays, the car MOT, tax etc, This forum has inspired me to try and take proper control of things, I just have to bring OH and two teenagers along with me for the ride! Wish me luck!

dianeleonora

Hello Turnaround

I think there has been some great advice here so far and I just wanted to share my experience with you:

18 months ago I was in a similar sitaution - I had a low mortgage (<£25K), some savings and a good job, but all extra cash seemed to disappear each month. The thought of labouring hard for the next 10 years to pay off the remaining mortgage and not have much else to show for it was downright depressing for me!

I decided to focus, did the budget, and came to the realisation that if I carried on doing the same thing I was never going to be even reasonably well-off, let alone wealthy!

So then I began to focus on real wealth creation - i.e.: what to do with that spare cash that will really make me wealthy in the longer term. For example: my house has trebled in value since I bought it 10 years ago. If I had managed to buy two more houses at that time I'd have assets in excess of a million by now (sobering thought isn't it?).

I examined my beliefs around money and decided to change my mindset. The journey since then has been fairly radical and life changing and too much to go into here. Suffice to say that I now have:
- a much better job which pays 70% more than my last one
- a second holiday home which is self-financing and gives us free holidays too
- a clear view on how I can retire at 50 if I want to (just 3 years away!)
- a plan to build a business for my children
- a plan to create assets worth more than a million in the next 5 years

I realise that this post may not be in the correct category, but I hope that my experiences give you some inspiration and show you that real change around money is possible, but often it involves a big shift in your mindset!

What would it take to make YOU feel really wealthy?

If anyone would like more detail on the hows and whys of my wealth journey so far, I'm happy to share, pls email offline (diane.lance@ntlworld.com)

All the best

weswesweswes79

My two penneth:

Your Phone / Broadband / Mobile / TV charges amount to way too much. If you're in a Sky+ contract, resolve to end it when the obligation finishes. If you can't live with the prospect of a £25 Freeview box (which shows all the BBC / ITV / C4 channels - are you in a Virgin (ex-NTL/Telewest) area? If so, you could sign up to it for £40pm and have 2MB broadband, 300 free anytime cross network mobile mins / 300 free texts, all the Freeview channels + Sky 1 & 2 (& Discovery & a few others), the watch again feature, pay per view films, and probably a cheap package on weekend landline calls (but would you need it with all those mobile mins).

That's the best part of £500pa saved.

You spend way too much on Christmas (esp if your kids are young enough to be in daycare). Instigate a family-wide resolution not to buy pressies for nephews / nieces / cousins. They add up to too much and are more often than not bought to ease the guilt of not seeing 'em in person as much as you'd like.

If you spent half of what you do, you'd save around £600pa.

Next up - packed lunches - if you tried, you could quite easily incorporate the elements of packed lunches into your existing food budget. No question about it.

Saving: approximately £800pa!

English tuition? On the basis that your child has special needs, then OK. If it's just as a "buffer" to insure against some kind of percieved "failure", then lose the OTT paranoia and give it up, saving over £1400pa. Or is English tuition to your young child something you could consider doing yourself?

Annual holiday at £1800? Not especially cheap but that's your choice.

Just by reigning in spending on Sky TV etc, Christmas, Packed lunches you could save around £2000pa. That's over a quarter of your £600pm take-home pay!

Losing the tuition and spending half as much on your annual holiday (go camping, maybe? - it's good fun) and you'll save a total of £4200. That's between a half and two thirds of your take-home pay!

If you're not prepared to do (at least some of) these things then you should maybe stop obsessing over your finances when there's really no need feel skint, based on your household income. In that instance it'd might be psychological rather than financial issues you need to address.

Do you enjoy your work? If "not especially", with the above savings, you could perhaps work for half as long. Or for the same amount of time in a job you really enjoy (couple of days a week baking bread in a nice deli or something). This might provide the "indulgence factor" you're looking for. Work smarter not harder etc.

As I say, that's just my two penneth. I'm not looking to be critical or presume anything, or be prescriptive, just offering possibilities.

All the best with it.

anne99

This is a fascinating thread. Many of us here have muddled along well into adult life before having some sort of 'lightbulb moment' when we realise, often with the help of this site, that our financial status is not what we would wish - whether this be serious debt, or in the OP's case, a feeling of money running through our fingers without us apparently being in control.

I think it all comes down to our internal attitudes to the various factors or aspects of money (earning, spending, saving), and assets (accruing, consuming, giving). Each of us has deep-down attitudes we have absorbed as we grew up from family, society, experience and our own in-built personality traits. For example, our present society encourages earning, spending and consuming. Our family may have given generous presents, or valued a lavish social life. We may by nature be skinflints, or else spendthrifts.

Problems result when the different factors clash. Depending on the specific factors involved, the problem might be debt, or guilt, or a feeling of failure.

The solution will be as individual as the problem, but as well as a financial SOA, I think one needs an 'attitude SOA' to help you see where you are, how you got here, where you want to go, and what changes you need to make to get there.

Gosh, a bit heavy for this time of the morning, but I hope it might help someone. Considering these aspects did help me at least.

anne99

On a lighter note to my last post, 17 yo DS has recently had an important financial lesson.

Being part of a family that is fairly-skint-but-carefully-makes-the-money-stretch-to what's-important, he spends carefully and rather enjoys watching his bank balance increase from his part-time job and EMA. As his friends all have money for CDs, concert tickets, etc. he has assumed they are better off than him. They were all planning to go travelling this summer when they leave school - but - he's the only one who could afford to go.

He now realises that often it's those who spend who are actually poor, and those who don't who have money.

I wish I'd learned that at 17.

reformedspender

I've just picked up on this thread through the newsletter. It's actually very reassuring to know I'm not the only one who feels like they are always scrimping. I too have little in the way of debt, thankfully, but equally, until recently, had little in the way of savings either. I suppose my 'lightbulb' moment was realising that the money I spent on 'stuff' (clothes, shoes, make up, bits and bobs for the house) could be saved for something that, in the long-term, I'd enjoy more. When I thought about it buying these extra items wasn't really making me that much happier whereas I knew that if I cut them out I could save up for something more important.

I always feel like I'm scrimping, but equally I know that every pound or two saved here or there is going to be used for something more important in the long-term (we're trying to buy a house).

Incidently, my husband has a relative who is always scrimping and saving, drives an old-ish car, doesn't have the most fashionable clothes and travels economy everywhere (when he can't use his airmiles). He's a multi-millionaire! He keeps on at my husband that money buys you freedom and that's always what I try to remind myself when I feel a bit hard done by when it comes to the material goods I have. Would I rather have a shiny Audi or the freedom not to worry about money? Give me the freedom any day.

TurnaroundSue

Rave_Knave wrote:

This has been a really interesting discussion but there seems to be one extra ingredient that hasn't been touched on yet, namely the fact that we live in an affluent society where the focus is on how we can become more affluent. I too feel disatisfied with my lifestyle and the demands on it but we are all under enormous pressure to buy and spend more. Think of the pressure that banks and credit agencies put on us , the numerous deals and 'bargains' that ask us to commit to spending just a little bit more to have something we might not have chosen. There's the pressure of our peers to match them and the demands of our kids. There's nothing wrong in wanting to progress and develop but we are also losing touch with the simple things in life that actually bring the contentment we are all looking for. Shopping has become our greatest relaxation activity. You are not entirely to blame for your feelings, there are greater forces at work and perhaps we need to challenge them and find better alternatives . Good luck!

You are so right Rave Knave - those greater forces have gotten into my soul and made me feel the way I do, and it really is the simple things in life that give you the most pleasure - but thanks to this site and all you wonderful people I feel so much better this week than I did last, when I posted this forum - once again, my humble thanks :A

bryam99

Hi there,
I feel constantly skint too. I think its because everything is going up in price, gas elec council tax water rates etc but the wages are not going up in line with it.
We bring home approx £500 pw 3 teenage kids but never any money for days out or holidays its all work work work but no fun.
I buy my clothes on ebay only when we have sold something, i pay £250 per month towards paying off debt which should end next year but that still leaves £445 per week.
We feel bled dry just managing. Its sad, but it seems loads of people feel the same way these days.
We are thinking of emigrating x

markwoods10

I am lucky if we have a few quid at the end of the month.
have cc debts and loans & poor credit history
I have two daughters one 5yrs and one of six months and of course the wife
my youngest had to go to hospital for three weeks due to illness and wife had to stay in aswell. from 27/12/06 so a quiet new year
we don't go out much due to funds( or lack of) due to trying to clear debts and am always looking to cut costs.
but we don't have to spend loads to be happy
it's really good to see happy children and interact with them rather than shoving them to grandpatents or upstairs or splasing loads on latest craze
just playing a few games or painting silly pictures
know it sounds a bit old fashioned and sentimental but saw a few children is hospital that wouldn't be going home..so when I think about complaining about having no money I feel thankful for what I have
sorry if I babbled a bit 1st time post.
good luck to everyone else with the money

MW

Elise1

Couldn't agree more with you Mark . It is so easy to get bogged down by the day to day "getting by" .
When I'm having a down day , I just try to think how much worse the situation could be . We all have our health & you just can't buy that . I have worked in palliative care for a number of years & that just puts my own life/problems into perspective ...