Why do I Always Feel Like I Have No Money!!

WhiteLily_2

Hi 'Turnaround'
I find myself in a a similar situation to you! My DH and I have a good income (albeit smaller than it used to be), a reasonable mortgage and no debts (but have had them in past), however, I am paranoid about getting into debt again. I find myself constantly thinking how do other people do it i.e the flash cars and clothes, holidays, showhouse homes, high maintenance appearances, active social lives etc; I have come to the conclusion - you can't have it all!! I consider ourselves to be asset rich (lovely home, cars we own, children (priceless) etc and cash poor!! We did have a period of trying to keep up with the Joneses - but it soon stopped when we realised how stupid we were being. We are now much more aware of how much money we are spending - through this excellent site- we make our money more efficient by having a budget; ensuring everything is at the lowest possible cost and using the 'do I need or do I want mantra' when considering purchases. You are doing well - making overpayments on your mortgage, improving your home, raising children, a nice car, holidays etc; and therefore, your money is being put to good use already - it's just that there is not a lot left after achieving all these things! If you took some of this away i.e the holiday, the car, the extension - then there would be more left at the end of each month but you would probably end up spending it on immaterial things and have nothing to show for it. I too often feel sorry for myself but it soon goes when I think of the positives we have achieved i.e family, friends, roof over our head, food on the table, health and happiness!

WhiteLily_2

Hi 'Turnaround'
I find myself in a a similar situation to you! My DH and I have a good income (albeit smaller than it used to be), a reasonable mortgage and no debts (but have had them in past), however, I am paranoid about getting into debt again. I find myself constantly thinking how do other people do it i.e the flash cars and clothes, holidays, showhouse homes, high maintenance appearances, active social lives etc; I have come to the conclusion - you can't have it all!! I consider ourselves to be asset rich (lovely home, cars we own, children (priceless) etc and cash poor!! We did have a period of trying to keep up with the Joneses - but it soon stopped when we realised how stupid we were being. We are now much more aware of how much money we are spending - through this excellent site- we make our money more efficient by having a budget; ensuring everything is at the lowest possible cost and using the 'do I need or do I want mantra' when considering purchases. You are doing well - making overpayments on your mortgage, improving your home, raising children, a nice car, holidays etc; and therefore, your money is being put to good use already - it's just that there is not a lot left after achieving all these things! If you took some of this away i.e the holiday, the car, the extension - then there would be more left at the end of each month but you would probably end up spending it on immaterial things and have nothing to show for it. I too often feel sorry for myself but it soon goes when I think of the positives we have achieved i.e family, friends, roof over our head, food on the table, health and happiness!

TurnaroundSue

Whitelily you are a star :A

How elequantly (sorry not sure of spelling!!) put!! You are right - what would I do if I had all the extra money - waste it!!! We were mortgage free 5 years ago, but decided to sell up and get a bigger house (taking out a small mortgage) as the money we had from not having a mortgage was just being 'wasted'. I didn't know about this wonderful site then, otherwise might not have 'wasted' the money!! So you have just reminded me what it was like when we didn't have any debts/mortgage and not really sure if I was any happier, but we as a family have some much more now than we did then, so I am now going to be like Whitelily and look at all the positives in our lives and not about the negatives.

Once again, thank you all :T :T :T

Elise1

Also been feeling like we never seem to have any money & have been wondering how everyone else seems to manage . Think that WhiteLily's comments are great - try to focus on the things that you do have , although not always easy !
Also have 2 children . Both my husband & I have reasonable incomes but sometimes feel that we pay out so much because I work part time ie. nursery fees(do use vouchers through my wage to help cut the cost) , & also ended up paying for a private nursery school place for my 3 year old because the local state ones wouldn't take him unless he did 5 sessions a week ! (Can only do 3 sessions a week because of my working days) . Bills seem to keep getting bigger & bigger for everything - will have to do a budget sheet & keep a spending diary .
Re Christmas spending , my children are so young (1 & 3) that I keep spending to a minimum whilst they don't realize what everyone else is asking santa for ! Also avoid letting them see commercial childrens TV ! Buy little things throughout the year to keep in a present box for Christmas/birthdays . Discount bookshops usually very good , NCT sales & charity shops also have come up with some bargins . Plan to be more organized this year & buy some toys on ebay well before Christmas .
Good luck to everyone posting on this board !

Elise

firesidemaid

just one more tip i remembered!

i know there is a 'martin way to do it' sticky about rac/aa etc. i use my clubcard to buy my rac roadside/recovery/onward travel (and add in the at home - middle of nowhere!) and you can choose your level/combination of cover.;)

GirlRacer_2

Those people with show home houses, flash cars and fabulous holidays may well be posting on here.....

CFC

TurnaroundSue wrote:

Whitelily you are a star :A

How elequantly (sorry not sure of spelling!!) put!! You are right - what would I do if I had all the extra money - waste it!!! We were mortgage free 5 years ago, but decided to sell up and get a bigger house (taking out a small mortgage) as the money we had from not having a mortgage was just being 'wasted'.

Well, look at it this way Sue, in a way (although you've borrowed in order to save, so to speak) if you would have been only frittering away the extra money saved from not having a mortgage, it was a wise move to get a bigger house - you can always downsize again once the kids have gone and free up some equity then, as you've got a house bigger than you need :dance:

CFC

GirlRacer wrote:

Those people with show home houses, flash cars and fabulous holidays may well be posting on here.....

That is SO darn true! I live within my means, and although on occasion I see people who I KNOW earn less total income than we have driving around in flash cars, I know that either

a) they have a rich background and mummy and daddy or other relative is helping them out, so they're not really self sufficient
or
b) they must be in debt up to their eyeballs....

chocolatefish

Elise1 wrote:

Also been feeling like we never seem to have any money & have been wondering how everyone else seems to manage .
Elise

We are not in debt and have usually had a reasonable income but TBH I cannot imagine how we struggled along before embracing the wondrous thing that is a budget - and one that actually works! In theory we had plenty money, in reality we were always skint long before payday.

The solution has been to adopt a DWD / LBYM mindset and learn the money management skills even though we're not in debt. Budget for every expense, save for yearly bills in advance, keep seperate accounts for spending and bills (and savings) and don't dip into them, and account for every single penny that comes into and goes out of your sweaty wee paws!

Budgeting isn't only about dealing with debt - it's a way of managing money, however much or little you have, so that you can make the most of it. And it's probably the single most empowering new skill I have learned in recent years - I can't over state the difference it has made to my life.

torridon_2

chocolatefish wrote:

We are not in debt and have usually had a reasonable income but TBH I cannot imagine how we struggled along before embracing the wondrous thing that is a budget - and one that actually works! In theory we had plenty money, in reality we were always skint long before payday.

The solution has been to adopt a DWD / LBYM mindset and learn the money management skills even though we're not in debt. Budget for every expense, save for yearly bills in advance, keep seperate accounts for spending and bills (and savings) and don't dip into them, and account for every single penny that comes into and goes out of your sweaty wee paws!

Budgeting isn't only about dealing with debt - it's a way of managing money, however much or little you have, so that you can make the most of it. And it's probably the single most empowering new skill I have learned in recent years - I can't over state the difference it has made to my life.

Chocolatefish puts it better than I could. I am another person with no or little debt who has spent a lot of time lurking on the DFW board. I earn a decent amount of money but used to find that it was all gone before next payday and I was drifting into my overdraft. A LOT of it was getting wasted - buying lunch at work rather than taking my own etc. MSE in general, but this board in particular, has made an enormous difference to my life. Budget, question everything you spend money on, look out for best deals. I now have a better standard of living for a lower cost.