Why do I Always Feel Like I Have No Money!!

TurnaroundSue

The solution has been to adopt a DWD / LBYM mindset

Can I just ask what does DWD/LBYM mean?

TurnaroundSue

Sorry one more thing When doing a spending diary, do you put EVERYTHING down that you spend, or just the other things that aren't budgetted for?

Many thanks

CFC

Can I just ask what does LBYM mean?

Live Below Your Means.

In your spending diary Sue, I'd suggest you write down every single thing that goes out. But it's up to you.

wisbech_lad

Have to say that spending 200 pounds on prezzies for parents seems odd. Grown-ups have the habit of buying stuff for themselves if they really, really want it, and so it is the thought that counts, not the stuff.

Your mother helps you because she wants to, and because she loves her grandchildren. Giving her expensive presents makes it seem that you think she is doing it for non-altruistic reasons...

She would probably much rather have more phone calls, more thankyou cards, and see more of the grandkids!

Elise1

chocolatefish wrote:

We are not in debt and have usually had a reasonable income but TBH I cannot imagine how we struggled along before embracing the wondrous thing that is a budget - and one that actually works! In theory we had plenty money, in reality we were always skint long before payday.

As part of my new budget plan , decided to look at food spending - probably one of our biggest areas of spending that we could perhaps reduce . Popped into Lidl & just looked at a few items that we usually buy when we do our weekly shop at Sainsburys . Did a quick price comparison on 6 basic items - would save £2.66 if we bought them at Lidl . Haven't tried a full shop comparison yet ! No wonder we are always skint before pay day !!

TurnaroundSue

wisbech_lad wrote:

Have to say that spending 200 pounds on prezzies for parents seems odd. Grown-ups have the habit of buying stuff for themselves if they really, really want it, and so it is the thought that counts, not the stuff.

Your mother helps you because she wants to, and because she loves her grandchildren. Giving her expensive presents makes it seem that you think she is doing it for non-altruistic reasons...

She would probably much rather have more phone calls, more thankyou cards, and see more of the grandkids!

Thanks for that Wisbech. I can see where you are coming from and I have no doubt that my mum helps us out and does what she does because she loves us and WANTS to and not for any other reason. It makes ME feel that getting her a nice present shows her that I am grateful for all she does and appreciate her and NO other reason. If I can get her a present which is cheaper than I do. Since my dad has died I have had a cushion made with a lovely photo of him on, named a star after him, bought a rose which was named after him, a pot for her garden with his name on it etc (all of these presents being something I know she wouldn't buy herself). These presents are given with alot of thought behind them, it's just unfortunate that presents like these don't come cheap!! My mum couldn't care less if I never bought her anything, but the thrill of giving these presents and seeing her face gives me alot of pleasure.

I ring my mum every day (she lives 200 miles away), visit her as often as I can and all my cards are hand made with love. However, something has changed in my way of thinking recently, particularly since I am doing the challenge 'Giving up spending for Lent' and all the wonderful replies to this forum which has really made me think about HOW I now spend my hard earned dosh If I see something that I know my mum would love in the future I would buy it for her, but I will also be thinking about more creative ways of making presents.

So thank you once again, one and all :A

Rave_Knave

This has been a really interesting discussion but there seems to be one extra ingredient that hasn't been touched on yet, namely the fact that we live in an affluent society where the focus is on how we can become more affluent. I too feel disatisfied with my lifestyle and the demands on it but we are all under enormous pressure to buy and spend more. Think of the pressure that banks and credit agencies put on us , the numerous deals and 'bargains' that ask us to commit to spending just a little bit more to have something we might not have chosen. There's the pressure of our peers to match them and the demands of our kids. There's nothing wrong in wanting to progress and develop but we are also losing touch with the simple things in life that actually bring the contentment we are all looking for. Shopping has become our greatest relaxation activity. You are not entirely to blame for your feelings, there are greater forces at work and perhaps we need to challenge them and find better alternatives . Good luck!

frugalpam

chocolatefish wrote:

We are not in debt and have usually had a reasonable income but TBH I cannot imagine how we struggled along before embracing the wondrous thing that is a budget - and one that actually works! In theory we had plenty money, in reality we were always skint long before payday.

The solution has been to adopt a DWD / LBYM mindset and learn the money management skills even though we're not in debt. Budget for every expense, save for yearly bills in advance, keep seperate accounts for spending and bills (and savings) and don't dip into them, and account for every single penny that comes into and goes out of your sweaty wee paws!

Budgeting isn't only about dealing with debt - it's a way of managing money, however much or little you have, so that you can make the most of it. And it's probably the single most empowering new skill I have learned in recent years - I can't over state the difference it has made to my life.

I so agree with you. I ended up with a lot of debt, so much so that I had to remortgage my house. I could kick myself now - I would have paid off my mortgate long before now if I'd made and kept to a budget.
Thankfully I saw the light while there was still time to sort things out, and nowadays I know to the penny where my money's going and what I need to save for.
I've trawled through my monthly outgoings - cutting out unecessary outgoings (who needs a choice of 80+ tv channels?!), economising on others eg getting better deals on insurances for the house and car, take my own lunch to work instead of wasting many pounds on plastic sandwiches from shops) - and of course, now on the warpath to get back those extortionate bank charges I'm owed. It is empowering indeed to take back control, and to not have to dread the postman and stuffing bills into kitchen drawers etc.
This site has been a godsend to me, and all the time people spend sharing their tips and advice so freely.

Pam

moanymoany

How do they do it? Skiing holidays, long haul holidays, weekends away, designer clothes, great car, meals out, champagne, taxis - ever watched Spendaholics? They do it by being in big dept or by being filthy rich.

My OH and I have things we love to do and we spend money on doing them. However, we do not spend money on other things. We live frugally - thanks to Martin's Angels :A and their advice. Even the things we love we do frugally. But, there are times that, aged as I am, I would love to wear expensive clothes, go shopping for lovely furniture for the house, spend a fortune at the garden centre and not think about the consequences - even better not have to think about the consequences!

There you go, it's not going to happen. However, I think everyone feels the same. The mood passes and I feel back on my even keel. This site is a lovely community of people going in the same direction. I always feel better after spending time here. :kisses:

AnW'sMum

We have a bills current account into which we put a set sum on payday which covers all the bills including the things like car tax. We pay the same amount in every month even though council tax is only 10 months a year. We also put money into other savings accounts for our children each payday.

My DH was paid on a four weekly cycle which can be a nightmare when everything else is monthly. We worked out what we needed to put away each month and actually put that away every 4 weeks, so we are actually buidling a buffer in the bills account which covers annual increases in prices. Once or twice a year I check that we are still paying enough in and adjust accordingly.

All our spending on petrol, food, socializing is spent on a cash back credit card which is paid in full each month by DD from the wages account. What is left in the 'wages' account is 'available' to spend. Whenever we have a pay rise we immediately increase either the amount into savings or take out a new 10 year savings plan (deducted at source).

On a day to day basis I do think we have no money but as others have said there are funds available to us if we really need something.

For years we have bought presents as and when we have seen them partly because I hate pushing through crowds of people in that Christmas panic and I usually manage to get some good deals along the way.

I do believe knowledge is power in the money game whether it's reducing debts or increasing savings