what to do about bank accounts once your married?

angelil

sillygoose wrote: »

Surprises are nice and credit to you for that. Its the people with secrets that worry me!

Why do you assume that those with separate accounts must be keeping secrets?

The way I see it is that even though we are married we are still two separate people. When you get married you do not stop being your own person. That does NOT mean I view my marriage as transitory.

retepetsir

We've had some discussions over this as we will soon be married, eek!

Been together 7 years and currently we have our own personal accounts into which our salaries are paid. I then work out the bills, food, etc for each month and we transfer a set amount each in to the joint account.

My partner would like to have all our money in the joint account, but that could get fun with keeping a track of things so we'll pay all of our wages in to this joint account, then have a separate account of standard bills and pay an allowance in to each of our accounts for things like gifts to one another, going out with work, etc. She's admitted that she spends a lot more than I do on treats for herself (I try and save as much as possible) so this way she says she'll be forced to be more careful with money as it'll be 'ours' and she'll only have a certain amount each month.

Pretty much everything will come out of the joint account including mobile phone bills, contact lenses, etc, etc.

sillygoose

angelil wrote: »

Why do you assume that those with separate accounts must be keeping secrets?

The way I see it is that even though we are married we are still two separate people. When you get married you do not stop being your own person. That does NOT mean I view my marriage as transitory.

Well I didn't assume that everyone with separate accounts was keeping secrets. But I hear SOME people say they thats exactly why THEY do it, what he/she spends is non of their partners business.

No you don't stop being a separate person but you agree to work in partnership, to me sharing money is the most basic and easiest level. Sharing ups and downs, major decisions and the emotional trials we all put each other through at times... thats the hard bit!

sillygoose

FatVonD wrote: »

Dad??

Just kidding, that's very sweet but when you're already on your second marriage (as I am) things start to look a bit different!

maybe.. but you know what, I don't think so. I don't think I could marry anyone a second or a third or whatever time without it being on the same basis as the first time. If it didn't feel the same I just wouldn't get married until it did or it ended.

sillygoose

retepetsir wrote: »

We've had some discussions over this as we will soon be married, eek!

Been together 7 years and currently we have our own personal accounts into which our salaries are paid. I then work out the bills, food, etc for each month and we transfer a set amount each in to the joint account.

My partner would like to have all our money in the joint account, but that could get fun with keeping a track of things so we'll pay all of our wages in to this joint account, then have a separate account of standard bills and pay an allowance in to each of our accounts for things like gifts to one another, going out with work, etc. She's admitted that she spends a lot more than I do on treats for herself (I try and save as much as possible) so this way she says she'll be forced to be more careful with money as it'll be 'ours' and she'll only have a certain amount each month.

Pretty much everything will come out of the joint account including mobile phone bills, contact lenses, etc, etc.

Congratulations! I think thats is a pretty good compromise as you both will have full visibility of the state your affairs.

I can see for some people that it could lead to a simmering low level resentment if one partner is constantly self indulgent whilst the other is careful and that could be very damaging so you have sensibly taken measures to avoid this too.

I suppose its what you mean by treats too, my wife is beautiful and I love her to look good and feel good so waxing, hairdressing, clothes etc are all money well spent, if it makes her happy then that makes me happy. As long as my 'Greggs bakery' expenditure is allowed in return.

Gloomendoom

sillygoose wrote: »

But personally going into marriage with separate accounts would feel like keeping an escape option open for when it goes wrong. I could not feel committed to someone under those conditions - I know its more modern to think of your current marriage as being just a phase in your life but for me it still means forever. My wife can spend every last penny we have on shoes if thats what she really wants, we will both starve together and I would still love her to my grave.

On the contrary, it could be argued that couples who have separate accounts display a higher degree of mutual trust than those who put everything into joint accounts.

In any case, separate accounts would be a pretty poor escape option in the event of a divorce. Your spouse would be entitled to a fair share of your joint assets... including any money in personal accounts.

How do you cope with savings accounts such as ISA's? It isn't possible to have joint ISA's.

big5

Before we got married, we had seperate accounts and I would transfer money to his account each month to cover my share of the mortgage, bills, etc. Now we have a joint current account - all earnings go in and all the bills come out of there. We have ISAs and savings accounts too, but to us it doesn't matter which name is on the account, it's all 'our money'. We have very similar views on money/spending it, and what works for us might not work for everyone.

My brother and his ex-wife had seperate finances - if they went out for a meal and one paid, the other would owe them, etc. That didn't seem right to me (and don't think it worked out so well for them either).

MsHoarder

Current account is joint and all income goes through this. This has been the case ever since we moved in together. Tbh, it means that doing the household accounts and budgetting is easier, and we both trust each other to act responsibly with it.

I pay less tax, so most savings (non-ISA) are in my name to maximise interest except a small instant e-savings account that is joint for those occasions when we get cashflow wrong. These are family savings though, and I wouldn't dream of not withdrawing them if DH needed them at any point (also they are notice accounts so are definitely not for day to day expediture).

If there is a big difference in atittude towards money I can see why seperate accounts might help reduce arguements, but a joint account is just simpler for us.