what to do about bank accounts once your married?

Bluemeanie_2

I will never again in my life, EVER hold joint financial anything with anyone. Even my Husband.

beth.stephenson2009

My friend who lives with her husband has her own bank account, and so does he- BUT 1/3 of thier income goes into a joint bank account for household expenses.

I will probably do something similar if/when i'm married. Dont work it out on income, that would never be fair, work it out on percentage of income.

sillygoose

I am a bit saddened.

In marriage you share your lives, your bodies, the task of creating and raising a new human being, your home over your head but so many can't trust each other with a few quid!

We have always had everything joint and at different times in our 20 years have earned various ratio's of money, but every penny has been our money. I don't work to earn for me but for our family.

Now this is just my opinion so don't shoot me and if keeping it separate is what you feel you have to do then that is anyones free choice.

But personally going into marriage with separate accounts would feel like keeping an escape option open for when it goes wrong. I could not feel committed to someone under those conditions - I know its more modern to think of your current marriage as being just a phase in your life but for me it still means forever. My wife can spend every last penny we have on shoes if thats what she really wants, we will both starve together and I would still love her to my grave.

Sceptre

We have been together/married for a verrrrry long time now, and have always had joint accounts. Both pay wages in, both take money out. Always nearly skint, so not much in the way of surplus to divvy up anyway.

The only exception to this are ISA accounts and premium bonds - same amounts but separate.

The most well off in our family is our son. He definitely keeps his money to himself! I wonder how that happened.

moneypuddle

OH and I are not married but live together so share the same bills. We have five accounts:

His account: his salary goes in here
My account: my salary goes in here
A joint account for bills
A joint account for spends
An ISA

We have our own accounts that our pay goes into (so we can each earn the £5 Halifax reward). On payday we both transfer all our money into our joint account for spends. From there I transfer £500 into our ISA, and £1300 into our bills account to cover the mortgage and all bills. We then both have cards for our spends account and everything comes out of that account. It works for us. I do the online banking and tell OH how much money is left at the end of each week. We've saved and covered our bills so as long as we don't get to £0 we're OK :T

Caroline73_2

sillygoose wrote: »

I am a bit saddened.

In marriage you share your lives, your bodies, the task of creating and raising a new human being, your home over your head but so many can't trust each other with a few quid!

We have always had everything joint and at different times in our 20 years have earned various ratio's of money, but every penny has been our money. I don't work to earn for me but for our family.

Now this is just my opinion so don't shoot me and if keeping it separate is what you feel you have to do then that is anyones free choice.

But personally going into marriage with separate accounts would feel like keeping an escape option open for when it goes wrong. I could not feel committed to someone under those conditions - I know its more modern to think of your current marriage as being just a phase in your life but for me it still means forever. My wife can spend every last penny we have on shoes if thats what she really wants, we will both starve together and I would still love her to my grave.

Try looking at it another way. I like to treat my husband and save up to buy him nice gifts. I can hardly get him a surprise if he can see where I spent the money and how much it was.

moneypuddle

Caroline73 wrote: »

Try looking at it another way. I like to treat my husband and save up to buy him nice gifts. I can hardly get him a surprise if he can see where I spent the money and how much it was.

We manage to do this even though we share ALL of our money. Our wages do vary each month due to bonuses, and we don't check each other payslips, so I would just keep a little back if I wanted to buy OH a surprise. May not work as well if you receive a set amount each month though.

sillygoose

Caroline73 wrote: »

Try looking at it another way. I like to treat my husband and save up to buy him nice gifts. I can hardly get him a surprise if he can see where I spent the money and how much it was.

I see your point but its not a problem, take out some cash or credit cards don't really list much detail of what you bought on statements, or buying something via Amazon would just show a purchase from Amazon.

Surprises are nice and credit to you for that. Its the people with secrets that worry me!

sillygoose

I think a crucial part is financial management, we have been very poor at times, hiding from the bailiffs at the door. Over the years we managed to get ourselves into a good financial position of having some money in the bank as a buffer.

We don't need accounts for different things as we only take on bills that we can afford so on average there is money left over the end of the month (usually but not always!) The point being it would take months to get into trouble so it would be clear to see the downward decline in advance and cut back.

The simplicity is wonderful, one joint bank account, all money in, all bills out. Spend whatever you like but we all suffer if you over do it!

Now its not easy to get in this position I won't pretend it was but its no fun hiding behind the sofa while the bailiff shouts through your letter box (been there got the teeshirt) so we made a determined effort to get here. the other advantage of getting a bit financially ahead is we never borrow money or put anything on credit, even with 'emergency' expenses so are actually better off as interest is money down the drain.

FatVonD

sillygoose wrote: »

My wife can spend every last penny we have on shoes.

Dad??

Just kidding, that's very sweet but when you're already on your second marriage (as I am) things start to look a bit different!