colleagues talking behind my back by email

yvonne13_2

Lith wrote: »

losing their job? yea ok fair enough, but somehting like that in a 'work environment' is uncalled for.


Jame needs to see the boss first.

bullying is no exception

I totally agree with you but when your scared and have no-one backing your corner what can you do?

The best thing he can do is write everything down in a diary go and see the CAB tell them what is going on and get them to stamp it therefore when OP does find the strength to fight the diary can back them up. (Getting CAB to stamp it will comfirm that it hasn't been written in one night ect, the Union will confirm this)

wapow

yvonne13 wrote: »

I totally agree with you but when your scared and have no-one backing your corner what can you do?

The best thing he can do is write everything down in a diary go and see the CAB tell them what is going on and get them to stamp it therefore when OP does find the strength to fight the diary can back them up. (Getting CAB to stamp it will comfirm that it hasn't been written in one night ect, the Union will confirm this)

One of the questions that crop up in alot of interviews as of late is

Q. How would you deal with someone that you feel you are not getting along with?

How would you answer that yvonne? How do you deal with persecution in your life?

Do you just cower until someone backs you up? Or do you back yourself up?

In a workplace (how to answer the interview question)
You talk to the individual first and let your thoughts be known in a clear and calm manner. If the problem persists then take it higher.

yvonne13_2

wapow wrote: »

One of the questions that crop up in alot of interviews as of late is

Q. How would you deal with someone that you feel you are not getting along with?

How would you answer that yvonne? How do you deal with persecution in your life?

Do you just cower until someone backs you up? Or do you back yourself up?

In a workplace (how to answer the interview question)
You talk to the individual first and let your thoughts be known in a clear and calm manner. If the problem persists then take it higher.

If you took the time to read all post you would have seen that I already answered.

Pete283

Jamie - don't take it, and while it is likely to be bullying it could also be harmless or that you've misread perhaps. From a managerial point of view, I wouldn't stand for it no matter how close I was to the employee's that are doing it - particularly when its a new starter as the topic of it. Chances are, your boss will have access to their emails if they are company based emails - and will have the right to check them as if they are doing anything which they shouldn't be on them it will be misuse of company property. If they are saying stuff, it is classed as indirect harassment in the workplace (bullying), and they will be given a warning - probably a final warning and a note placed on their file for x amount of months (usually 6 - 12). They will also be banned from talking about the hearing, and will probably both be made to offer you an apology. If they do talk about the hearing or try to influence you before it, then they'll be rightly relieved of their duties.

Bullies shouldnt be stood for in any line of life, and when it comes to putting food in mine and my families mouths over someone who is trying to force me out of my job - which is what they will do if you haven't got a job because you felt so - then I won't just let it lie. Do it in a respectable, calm manner - but I wouldn't even bother speaking to them - go straight to your manager about it and see what the options are.

Tinytoes_2

This happened to me a couple of times when I was young and shy and desperate to fit in. Some people take advantage of a gentle nature as being a sign of weakness and a couple of times I was bullied in a similar way, on three separate occasions, by four different people. This happened twice in my early twenties and once in my thirties (by two friends). Two of them were training me and I was subjected to the same stuff as you, the talking behind my back, excluding me from conversations and jokes, responding to small talk with monosyllabic answers, not answering my work related questions. Two of them, I didn’t work with directly, but had to liaise with every day as part of the job, and they never missed an opportunity to make me feel small. I dreaded coming to work and at one point was on medication for anxiety.

I eventually took each one aside separately for a quiet word (away from their chums) and confronted them about their behaviour, told them how it was affecting me, and told them that I wasn’t prepared to put up with it any longer. I said that I would take matters further if the behaviour didn’t stop. I did all of this in a calm and reasonable manner. It worked with three of them, who, without their pals there to egg them on, were embarrassed. They each made some lame excuse as to why they had done it, and the bad behaviour stopped.
The fourth one was a well known bully, who said she had no idea what I was talking about and she continued to behave like a d***. I did take that one further and eventually she was moved to another department to a “singleton post”, in the office that issued security passes. On her first day she managed to tick off an entire department, who complained to her boss about her attitude. She became famous in the building for being an utter cow, but at least no one had to endure the misery of working beside her.

In my next department, I was careful to be pleasant, but not so eager to please. I had been too much of an open book before, and those people had worked out that I was the kind of person who would let them be rude and horrible without saying a word. I worked in that department for 15 years and never had another problem – I was well liked and got along with everyone.

I disagree with the person who made the comment about being at school. In some workplaces, the school playground mentality has never left some people. And a young bully often carries that behaviour into later life. And of course there will always be the “sheep”, who wouldn’t bully people on their own, but they’re easily led. Probably said that on their report cards…

So if I can give you some advice, it’s that you should hold something of yourself back. Don’t let people figure you out right away – let them work a bit harder to get to know you, let them try to please you, rather than the other way about. And the second piece of advice – we teach people how to treat us. You are teaching them that they can do whatever they want and you’ll just take it. You have to teach them that it’s not acceptable. You don’t have to be aggressive about it. Just be a bit more assertive and state your case. Do it away from their “audience”. And if that doesn’t work, then you take it further.

Good luck - I hope you nail these idiots, and I’d love to hear how you get on.