Child and working tax credit help plz???

kingfisherblue

Chrissiew wrote: »

I dont know why people have kids if they cant afford to stay at home and look after them, They must know before they decide to have them if they will have enough money to buy nappies, milk, clothes etc, if they cant then wait untill they can.

Whats the point in having them if you have to farm them out all day to other people or nurseries? Then just have them a couple of hours at night, how do you bond with them? At least wait untill they are old enough to go to school all day before going to work.

I think its awful that some think its a luxury to be a stay at home mum, being a mum should be just what it says, being a mum and staying at home to bring up your own baby.

I could afford my kids when I had them. I was married, but after 16 years my husband decided to move out and start a new life and family elsewhere.

As it is, I am a SAHM because I am also my son's carer - he was born with severe disabilities. I claim benefits because of this, a necessity but not something that I am proud of.

In today's society, many people can only afford to get on the housing ladder if there are two salaries coming in, especially in more expensive parts of the country. Also, people expect to be able to spend money on what would have been termed luxuries in the past - a second car in two parent households, holidays and days out, clothes (except for essentials - I remember having one dress for 'best', which was worn on the odd occasions that we went out), more toys than kids ever need, broadband, computer, tumble dryer, dishwasher, etc.

paula_arc

DaisyFlower wrote: »

And they say romance is dead:rotfl:My first thought if single with two children would be is this the man for me and will he be good with my children not visting the tax credits website to see how much in benefits the situation nets.

If you need more money, then you can always work as being a SAHM is a luxury. If childcare is expensive for two then you can work nights or weekends.

wow do you think i met my partner and went straight on the tax credits website ?? ofcourse not! how rude!


and not that i have to give my reasons for staying at home but my son was born prematurely with his intestines on the outside of his body and doesnt keep well as a result of this!

ill think twice about looking for some friendly advice as it seems people are quick to judge!

but thanks to the genuine helpful replies these are much appreciated

FBaby

I dont know why people have kids if they cant afford to stay at home and look after them,

Maybe because not everyone think that being a parent mean you are the only person who can care, teach, influence, inspire your child. I consider my role as a mum to be there to insure that my kids are getting the best they can get, recognising that I am not the only person who can provide the best, as a matter of fact, I acknowledge that in some areas, other do better than I.

They must know before they decide to have them if they will have enough money to buy nappies, milk, clothes etc, if they cant then wait untill they can.

If I had waited until I was able to afford to be a SAHM, I most likely would never have become one. I think I speak for many.

Whats the point in having them if you have to farm them out all day to other people or nurseries? Then just have them a couple of hours at night, how do you bond with them? At least wait untill they are old enough to go to school all day before going to work.

What is the point of fathers going to work at all if through work they are unable to bond with their child? Do you think Dad never get to bond with their children? Or is it a case of at least they get to bond with one out of two parents, then you are good parents as whole????? Thank God bonding is one instinctive for more parents, but also much more about quality than quantity.

I think its awful that some think its a luxury to be a stay at home mum, being a mum should be just what it says, being a mum and staying at home to bring up your own baby.

How about teaching your child the notion of self-reliance... It's all very well if you can afford as a couple to have one staying at home, but if not, I certainly think a child benefit a lot more from learning as an exemple the value of working hard to earn what you deserve, rather than becoming reliant on those who do work hard to provide for one's family.

thorsoak

You know, reading all these posts makes me wonder how on earth my children became the people that they now are : I was at home with them until they went to school , their father worked in London, therefore he left for work as they were getting up, came home as they were going to bed - but he always managed the bedtime stories, and succeeded in bonding with them at weekends - but of course, he wasn't bothered about having weekends away with his mates (neither was I, come to that!) - we didn't have fantastic holidays jetting off all over the globe - but they all became well-rounded people and each of them recognises that you get from life what you put into life - and their children are learning the same lessons.

Dunroamin

paula_arc wrote: »

wow do you think i met my partner and went straight on the tax credits website ?? ofcourse not! how rude!

If you make the statement

"I moved in with my partner at the end of last month and made this decision by using the tax credits calculator working out our outgoings and expenses and making sure it was affordable with his wage and the help from tax credits at that point it was,"

then you can't be surprised if people misunderstand you.

paula_arc

Dunroamin wrote: »

If you make the statement

"I moved in with my partner at the end of last month and made this decision by using the tax credits calculator working out our outgoings and expenses and making sure it was affordable with his wage and the help from tax credits at that point it was,"

then you can't be surprised if people misunderstand you.

it doesnt say i met my partner and went on the tax credits website ?? it states that after deciding to move in together then i checked it out i managed to refrain from checking it out for 3 years before making the move as difficult as it was :rotfl:(sarcasm btw just in case thats not clear)

its a shame the majority of users just want to preach about how people should live there lives not useful at all!

Dunroamin

paula_arc wrote: »

it doesnt say i met my partner and went on the tax credits website ?? it states that after deciding to move in together then i checked it out i managed to refrain from checking it out for 3 years before making the move as difficult as it was :rotfl:(sarcasm btw just in case thats not clear)

its a shame the majority of users just want to preach about how people should live there lives not useful at all!

But it does say you made the decision to move in based on the tax credits website, regardless of when this took place!

alwaysskint96

Dunroamin wrote: »

But it does say you made the decision to move in based on the tax credits website, regardless of when this took place!

Well that makes aense When you first move in with someone you dont need the stress of losing any financial independance. And at the end of the day its not the new partners responsibility to provide for someone eses kids

paula_arc

Dunroamin wrote: »

But it does say you made the decision to move in based on the tax credits website, regardless of when this took place!

i dont know what your point is???

my reply was to the person who said how romantic i met my partner and went straight on the tax credits website to see how much the situation could net! before seeing if he would be good for me or my children

your input is not helpful and quite frankly pointless

HappyMJ

alwaysskint96 wrote: »

Well that makes aense When you first move in with someone you dont need the stress of losing any financial independance. And at the end of the day its not the new partners responsibility to provide for someone eses kids

It is :cool: ... the benefits calculation expects a new partner to pay for the kids that they take on. If the new partner does not want that responsibility then they will be living apart and living seperate lives until the kids leave home.