Real life MMD: Should I ask my brother-in-law for unpaid rent?

Barryfan

I agree that if this happened a while ago you should just leave it be and learn from the experience. Just because you are dealing with family doesn't mean the arrangements shouldn't be on a formal basis. You should have asked for a DD or standing order to be set up - and did you issue a rental agreement to your niece? Lots of legal pitfalls here I fear.

sammy_turtle

money was tight

If money was tight at the time, then that was the time to ask for the money! Presumably since it's in the past tense, money is no longer as tight. I would say it's time to write off the debt and have a sturdier agreement in place if you let rooms to family in the future.

telsco

Yes. As you say, she & her friend were proper lodgers and not just family guests.

They took advantage and cost you much needed money.

Bunch of spongers.

Talent

Forget it!
Don't do it again!
Your wife isn't your friend ;-))
Her family are bludgers.

nczm

Have you actually tried talking to your brother in law? Is it really neccessary to get all upset without having a conversation?
In your shoes I would let it go (bloods thicker than water) but if you're financially strapped there is no harm in asking whether the rent is going to be paid, I would make a deduction for the work done to your house (as ultimately that benefits you time and expenses) and maybe ask for 75% - for all you know he may have given it to you niece who never passed it on!

milvusvestal

I presume that, in spite of the family connection, you put in place a proper tenancy agreement, which will have determined responsibility for repairs as well as prompt payment of rent, so I suggest you examine that first.

If you as landlord were liable for upkeep and repairs, then your next move should be to assess the costs of the work done by your brother-in-law if he were a professional in that line.

Your third move would then be to deduct those costs from the rent owing, to see what you have left. If the residual sum is small, then write it off to experience - tenancies rarely make a sound form of investment these days.

purpleweasel

Just curious: why is everyone assuming it's his wife's brother? It could as easily be his sister's husband!

It does seem as though this was a while back. So many MMD problems caused by not talking things through with people! So OK you should have sorted out an agreement when she moved in. Too late now. Perhaps you should have discussed it when she left. Also too late. Is now the time? The longer you leave it the harder it will be. Could it cause family strife & tension? Is it worth family strife & tension? Depends on so many factors - did the father give the money to his niece and she not pass it on, is he "forgetful", is he even more strapped than you? Perhaps it could be better discussed by the siblings (whoever they are!)

zippolita

IMHO It is reasonable to ask for the unpaid rent, but would suggest that the reply will not be favourable. If that is the case, it may be best to drop the matter for the sake of family harmony and steer clear of them in the future.

I also think that your wife is clouding things. You were broke and needed money and he paid by doing basic DIY before you got to it? Big deal.

kerri_dfw

By your wife pointing out that he did jobs round the house, she's telling you to drop it. Maybe she liked having your niece there regardless of whether she got any money or not, we all should do things for our family without expecting anything in return. There's some pretty bitter comments on this thread though which really aren't helpful. Take it on the chin and stop thinking of something you never had.

TBagpuss

the first thing you need to do is to discuss this with your wife. You and she need to present a united front, and you also need to be clear abouit whether she has had any conversations with her niece, or your brother in law. If she and your BIL have had a conversation and he's been allowed to think that his work pays off the debt, I don't see that you can go back and demand it from him.

I think it also depends how long ago this happened, and therfore how reasonable it would be for your BIl and/or niece to assume that the debt was forgiven, or taken as paid as a result of the work done.

If your nievce left very recently AND there hasd been no prior agreement between your wife and her family, then I don't think it is unreasonable to ask for payment. If the work BIL did was work which you would have had done anyhway (so you have saved money you would have spent) then it is reasonable to offset the amount you've saved, against what your niece owed.

If it was things you wouldn't have paid someone to do, but which were helpful, then it's still reasponable to offset it againt the rent, but probably at less than a market rate.

but this is primarily about you & your wife discussing your joint approach to money and to family, and agreeing on a joint approach. It may be that it's appropriate to let it go this time, and agree that in future, anyh finacial arrangments wirth family will be on a slightly more formal basis, so that eveyone knows where they stand.