Fed up with organising stuff!!

BLUis

Thanks again for the replies. I want all the little things that I have planned and organised, I'm just so sick of wedding planning all together!
I think its a culmination of stress, trying to lose weight and work that is doing it. I had a good cry with my OH last night and told him everything I was worried about and he said that we will have a wedding free weekend and maybe even go away.
Yoga really doesnt appeal to me to be honest, dont think I have the time to do anything else anyway!

I like the idea of having a massage, I might look into that tmrw. I have been given the number of a masseuse nearby who is very reasonable, so I might try that.

I cannot go to a dentist. Even the smell of certain mouthwashes make me feel nervous because they smell like the dentist.

I think I just need to relax and not think about it all for 24 hours and see how things are afterwards.

I have also spoken to my friend today and she is going to help me out with a few of the last minute things that need to be done. My other friend who is a hairdresser is going to come round this week and have a look at my hair and see what she can do. I might be having some hair pieces put in to bulk out my hair.

Im starting to feel better already!

Choc-addict

Hiya,

I'm with you, I too can't wait for life to resume and no longer be taken over by wedding wedding wedding!! We've 8 weeks to go.

I literally CAN NOT WAIT to be married to OH but I have to say the planning side of it I could take or leave. It's been stressful at times and I feel that it has taken over life, whether or not we've let it be that way - that's what's happened and it's not been nice.

To be honest the planning process was overshadowed by some unfortunate behaviour of others but i'm not about to get into that - for now it's concentrating on OH and I and getting married.

I'm glad that you are starting to feel better, it can be so overwhelming and all consuming. I have had a wedding free weekend this weekend but I have no choice to get on with bits being so soon.

Take care, keep posting for light relief!

xx

BLUis

Well we had a weekend off talking/thinking/doing anything about the wedding (apart from seeing where I am staying on my hen wknd, but that was co-incidental) and I feel SO MUCH BETTER for it!

We have got 7 1/2 weeks to go so I have decided if we dont have it now, we dont need it. I just need to go and see the venue to get some final ideas of timings/where things are going etc.

My hair is still coming out in chunks and I dont know if my dress fits yet, but what the heck!! lol

findingmyownway

Glad you're feeling better BLUis.

I am another bride who is struggling at the moment. Not getting married until August but between now and then my OH is having major surgery which the success (or not) of will have a huge impact on life. I can't seem to think much past that at the moment, and so am getting really annoyed with people saying "have you done the flowers/favours/place cards etc etc yet?".

I went shopping with the BMs on Sat and bought their shoes and dresses - BM1 couldnt understand why I was so keen to get it sorted on the day, I think in her head we were going to spend the next 2 months ambling round the shops looking for the "perfect" dresses. In my head, I don't care about perfect, the dresses are lovely and will do the job just fine. I'm sure I could have got cheaper ones had we shopped around more but I am happy with Coast and even happier they are hung in my wardrobe and no longer a source of nagging!!

Grrr, sorry, that turned into a vent

Idiophreak

Glad you're feeling better after a weekend off duty...It makes me so sad when people start finding their wedding a chore...but I can well understand it...By way of advice, I'd just echo what other people have said above, really:

1) Use support: Best men (injured or not), ushers, bridesmaids, parents (whatever combination's available ) should be loaded up with jobs. At our wedding, the smartest money we spent was the gift for the grooms-men, bridesmaids and parents. They did so much for us.

2) Stop doing things you don't need to: the OH is a big boy, he can look after the suit. You'll see your mum's outfit at the wedding - get her to take someone else to pick the thing out. If you try and do everything as a couple, you'll end up doing twice as much.

3) Make snap decisions. We bought the wife's wedding ring at the first shop we went to. Shopping for mine took an hour.

4) Put a price on your own time. I know being MSE's important, but not moreso than your health. I just can't understand people who make themselves sick worrying about invitations, favours, orders of service...or any other thing when you could just pay a little bit of money (£10, £20), have someone else put the effort in and save all the stress and aggravation...I'm a bit of a hypocrite, because we made all the invites etc ourselves...but it took *hours*...probably 50+ hours between save the dates, invites and orders or service...we saved probably £100/150 total...So we were "paid" £1-1.50/hour each for our effort, when you think about it...If we'd have been stressed out, this would have been the first thing to go

5) Find time to relax. My wife went for massages, I went for some nice long runs..whatever relieves the stress is worth doing.

6) A bit late for you now, but worth noting for other brides - get stuff sorted early. Anything that can be done in advance, do in advance. We had the confetti, orders of service, readings etc all sorted several months before the wedding...these are the things that people spend their last week running around frantically sorting. The last week should really be a cruise...everyone should know what they're doing when, all the prep should be finished...

The days before, there's bound to be some stuff that needs doing - collecting the suits, stuff being delivered, relatives to be collected etc...but as long as you're using your support well (as above) the bride should be quite oblivious to all this

7) Positive visualisation. I know it sounds stupid, but take a couple of minutes each day to remember why you're doing everything, how nice it will feel to wake up as Mr and Mrs and how much you love your OH. Gives you more strength than you'd expect

floss2

BLUis wrote: »

I broke a tooth last week - fortunately a back one, but its sharp and keeps scratching my tongue and I will NOT go to the dentist as I am petrified of them

I understand that you don't like dentists, but you really need to get this sorted out, or you may end up not being at your own wedding. If you get an infection in the root, or an abcess, or any more breaks and penetrates the root, you will be in excrutiating pain, you will not be able to eat and you may even find that your jaw becomes immobile if you avoid the situation for any length of time - I know this from the experiences of my best friend's dental-phobic husband.

Contact your local NHS Emergency Dental team, explain to them that you have an extreme phobia and get it fixed.

BLUis

findingmyownway wrote: »

Glad you're feeling better BLUis.

I am another bride who is struggling at the moment. Not getting married until August but between now and then my OH is having major surgery which the success (or not) of will have a huge impact on life. I can't seem to think much past that at the moment, and so am getting really annoyed with people saying "have you done the flowers/favours/place cards etc etc yet?".

I went shopping with the BMs on Sat and bought their shoes and dresses - BM1 couldnt understand why I was so keen to get it sorted on the day, I think in her head we were going to spend the next 2 months ambling round the shops looking for the "perfect" dresses. In my head, I don't care about perfect, the dresses are lovely and will do the job just fine. I'm sure I could have got cheaper ones had we shopped around more but I am happy with Coast and even happier they are hung in my wardrobe and no longer a source of nagging!!

Grrr, sorry, that turned into a vent

It puts it all into perspective when you talk about your OH going in for major surgery! Made me feel very small (and I know that was NOT your intention!).
I hope and pray that he will be ok and you will have a happy and healthy life together.

Idiophreak wrote: »

Glad you're feeling better after a weekend off duty...It makes me so sad when people start finding their wedding a chore...but I can well understand it...By way of advice, I'd just echo what other people have said above, really:

1) Use support: Best men (injured or not), ushers, bridesmaids, parents (whatever combination's available ) should be loaded up with jobs. At our wedding, the smartest money we spent was the gift for the grooms-men, bridesmaids and parents. They did so much for us. – Our best man is a bit useless (notwithstanding the neck brace!!) I don’t know that I even trust him to get the rings from my house to the wedding venue without losing them, so I don’t know if I can rely on him for other stuff (if I broke down on the motorway at 3am, he would be the first one I would call and he would come, but wedding stuff??? NAH!! Lol) We need to buy presents aaaghhhhh!!! Forgot about that!!!

2) Stop doing things you don't need to: the OH is a big boy, he can look after the suit. You'll see your mum's outfit at the wedding - get her to take someone else to pick the thing out. If you try and do everything as a couple, you'll end up doing twice as much. – Suits are sorted, went and tried them on last weekend and all I have to do is give them my brothers measurements. I am going shopping with my mom as she needs me. She is a ‘larger’ lady and is really struggling to find something both suitable and in the size she is. I don’t mind helping her at all.

3) Make snap decisions. We bought the wife's wedding ring at the first shop we went to. Shopping for mine took an hour. I had actually picked my wedding ring from Warren James, it was £24.99 and just what I wanted, but my OH said he didn’t want to buy me one from there. We went to an independent jewellers and I picked a silver one with CZ in, which is being specially made for me. Cost a bit more, but it’s a better quality.

4) Put a price on your own time. I know being MSE's important, but not moreso than your health. I just can't understand people who make themselves sick worrying about invitations, favours, orders of service...or any other thing when you could just pay a little bit of money (£10, £20), have someone else put the effort in and save all the stress and aggravation...I'm a bit of a hypocrite, because we made all the invites etc ourselves...but it took *hours*...probably 50+ hours between save the dates, invites and orders or service...we saved probably £100/150 total...So we were "paid" £1-1.50/hour each for our effort, when you think about it...If we'd have been stressed out, this would have been the first thing to go Believe me, if I had known how long it would take us to make our evening invites and the hassle it would cause, we would have paid for it! We are quite fortunate in that we have got the money to pay for the wedding, honeymoon etc without struggling, we had a windfall in the middle of last year and so haven’t had to be too MSE, although I have tried to save money where I can, I don’t like spending money just for the sake of it, but there are things we could have done to make our life a little easier!!

5) Find time to relax. My wife went for massages, I went for some nice long runs..whatever relieves the stress is worth doing. I intend to go for a massage very soon. I go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week, which actually makes me feel better, despite nearly killing me!! OH plays footie on a Thursday and that’s his stress reliever.

6) A bit late for you now, but worth noting for other brides - get stuff sorted early. Anything that can be done in advance, do in advance. We had the confetti, orders of service, readings etc all sorted several months before the wedding...these are the things that people spend their last week running around frantically sorting. The last week should really be a cruise...everyone should know what they're doing when, all the prep should be finished...

The days before, there's bound to be some stuff that needs doing - collecting the suits, stuff being delivered, relatives to be collected etc...but as long as you're using your support well (as above) the bride should be quite oblivious to all this I have already nominated someone to get the cake and the suits, we are writing a time line for the last 2 weeks before the wedding, so everyone gets paid on time and everything is in place!

7) Positive visualisation. I know it sounds stupid, but take a couple of minutes each day to remember why you're doing everything, how nice it will feel to wake up as Mr and Mrs and how much you love your OH. Gives you more strength than you'd expect I do keep thinking of us cutting the cake and I know that is probably a trivial part, but its just a nice thing to think about. But then I wonder, how will the room be set out, where will the cake be, where do we put everything, then I get all stressed again!

Thanks for taking the time to write all this, it must have taken you a while!

Idiophreak

BLUis wrote: »

I do keep thinking of us cutting the cake and I know that is probably a trivial part, but its just a nice thing to think about. But then I wonder, how will the room be set out, where will the cake be, where do we put everything, then I get all stressed again!

Thanks for taking the time to write all this, it must have taken you a while!

Didn't take long - I type fast and have a pretty stress-prone wife, so have a lot of practice at doing things in as stresslessly as possible

You'll be amazed that all that fine detail you're worrying about just sorts itself out. Give a list of what goes where to the venue. Have one of your friends go and check it over in the morning. There is a place for everything, everything will find it's place...:)

BLUis

Well just a quick update. I still cant get into my dress and with only 3 weeks to go, I cant see me being able to fit into it by then.

Going to see a dress maker this afternoon so I will see what she says, but I'm getting really desperate now. Bought an M&S body, but that hasnt done anything, booked a wrap to see if that does anything but that might be too late!!

findingmyownway

Hi BLUis

Aagh, dress nightmare! How far off fitting is it? I hope the dressmaker has some good suggestions today. Maybe a piece of material in the back will help if its lace up?