Fed up with organising stuff!!

BLUis

I know lots of you on here love organising your weddings and all the associated stuff, but I will be so glad when it is all OVER!!!

I am absolutely sick and tired of not having weekends free, fed up of making things, organising things, spending money on ebay, looking at flowers, rings, head-dresses/tiaras, (I have a severe problem with my scalp so my hair is falling out in chunks so i dont even know if I will have any hair for the wedding!!), just EVERYTHING wedding associated!!!

Dont get me wrong, I cant wait to get married, I love my OH soooo much, but I just want it all to be over.

Sorry, mini rant over. Going to pay the deposit on my wedding ring and suit fitting today. Oh joy!

74jax

I am one of those who love it. So my help might not actually be 'help'.

Could you maybe write a list and delegate the items to people, get someone else to pay your deposits and bills, OH deals with suits etc.

Maybe have next weekend as a no wedding weekend where you and OH have a meal out or something?

bride2be2012

ah, poor you - sending you big hugs!

I second what 74jax has said.

Take a break from it all, and spend some time with your OH doing non wedding-y things. Our past two Saturday's have been spent organising our invitations, and we ended up falling out over something stupid last Saturday night. So tonight, we are going a 'date night' (something we haven't done prob since Oct as we have been trying to save money). Soooo looking forward to a wee night out and not thinking about the wedding for a bit (though tbh, that prob won't happen, as the singer in the band we are going to see happens to be our photographer lol).

And delegate, as much as you can/want to! Just make sure you 100% trust the person you are delegating to!! My bridesmaids were desperate to organise my hen night and make it a surprise. Except most of it has ended up being done by my poor mum, who had to keep asking me to do things as she doesn't have the time - neither do I!! So the bridesmaids have been told this week, if they can't be bothered etc to do it themselves, don't bother.

And just try and remember that the day is about you and your OH, and the reasons you are getting married.

aneres

I'm so with you on this. I'm getting married in September in Greece so most of the organising is done. I can't even be bothered to sort my dress out. Don't get me wrong I can't wait to marry my oh but I would have just gone and got it done on our own without any fuss. Oh wouldn't do that as he wanted people to be there. Isn't it the woman who is supposed to want that?

Brighton_belle

Most of the things that you are organising will not effectively be essentials - so if it is making you truely miserable, can you just cut them? We kept our wedding very simple as I knew I couldn't cope with maga organising and it worked well for us.
We had so many compliments and letters/emails after on the beauty and simplicity of the day and we didn't need a honeymoon to recover from it all either:D

Ask yourself, what do you remember about other peoples weddings? Probably very lttle of the 'details'.
Honestly, a lot of it won't matter on the day, you will be so happy and have a wonderful day with or without all the trimmings.

BLUis

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I am just stressing about it all now, only 9 weeks to go and I feel like my head is going to explode.

I think I am going to start Brides Anonymous. A self help group for Brides who have just HAD ENOUGH!! lol

I think it is a culmination of all the things that have gone wrong since we started planning

1. Venue change - due to them being completely incompetant!
2. Date change - 3 times!! First because we changed venue, second because we had been double booked, third time lucky!
3. 4 different wedding co-ordinators
4. Hearing that our venue may be in financial difficulties
5. Losing my hair at a vast rate of knots (no pun intended!)
6. I broke a tooth last week - fortunately a back one, but its sharp and keeps scratching my tongue and I will NOT go to the dentist as I am petrified of them
7. Best man had a car crash and is in a collar and might still be in it at the wedding (not his fault I know, but I dont want that on my photos!!)
8. Its my daughters 18th 3 days after we get married and she is feeling very left out

I will be glad when it is the actual day and I can just relax. I dont care what happens after, I just want to get married!! We will be having a non wedding Saturday as its my sons birthday, but Sunday I am going shopping with my Mom to Brum for an outfit (which wont be easy as she isnt exactly petite).

I know I sound like a brat, but I just want the day to arrive so that I dont have to do ANY MORE!!!!

MrsDrink

I think we all handle stress differently... yes I am enjoying doing weddingy things... but by the same token it's the way I cope with it. If I was delegating and 'letting' other people do things for me I would be more stressed because I am a control freak and they probably wouldn't do it how I wanted it doing!!

I think the key though is recognising when you are feeling frazzled and knowing what you can do to over come it. Two weekends before we get married I have booked MrD and me in for a weekend away (okay only an hours drive away but it's out of the house all the same), and I've vowed we'll have a relaxed weekend with no wedding talk. I know when it's that close to the big day we'll probably need some time together to remember why we're doing this ha!

BLUis - I wish you all the hugs and support you need to 'just get through it'.
x

indiepanda

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Most of the things that you are organising will not effectively be essentials - so if it is making you truely miserable, can you just cut them? We kept our wedding very simple as I knew I couldn't cope with maga organising and it worked well for us.
We had so many compliments and letters/emails after on the beauty and simplicity of the day and we didn't need a honeymoon to recover from it all either:D

Ask yourself, what do you remember about other peoples weddings? Probably very lttle of the 'details'.
Honestly, a lot of it won't matter on the day, you will be so happy and have a wonderful day with or without all the trimmings.

I have to admit that's going to be my approach. I don't want to spend a fortune on the wedding. I do know lots of things can be done cheaply if you invest time in researching or making things yourself. However my take on it is I have a job that can pretty full on and I really value my leisure time and I don't want to waste it on things that don't matter to me and I don't enjoy doing. So cutting out things I don't think are necessary (and there's quite a long list of those) makes more sense than economizing.

BLUis - you have my sympathy, sounds like you've had a dreadful run of bad luck and you don't sound at all like a brat for being fed up.

I got very stressed out a few years ago (work not wedding) and started to lose my hair. I ended up with a few completely bald patches, though fortunately in places I could cover them up by letting my curls go wild and not ever tying my hair back / up. Good news is it did grow back in the end - for a time I was dreadfully scared of winding up like Gail Porter but I gather that's pretty unusual and most people do recover from alopecia.

I know it sounds crazy to suggest when you are so busy, but do try to squeeze in some time for relaxation. I have found a masseuse who is very good and I see her pretty regularly - am going through a lot of stress at the moment and it really helps.

Kynthia

Any chance you could go yoga one night a week. As well as toning I found it helped calm me when I was stressed with my promotion, accountancy exams and wedding planning. That was a busy few months and the chilled hour out was great whilst still being exercise, so multiple-tasking. :-)

Dekazer

I felt exactly the same as you. I have to say, this place kept me sane a lot of the time! You will get through it, and it will be worth the effort, but if you throw your hands up and knock one or two things off the list, no one will mind

Good luck, and chin up xx

gilly1964

BLUis wrote: »

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I am just stressing about it all now, only 9 weeks to go and I feel like my head is going to explode.

I think I am going to start Brides Anonymous. A self help group for Brides who have just HAD ENOUGH!! lol

I think it is a culmination of all the things that have gone wrong since we started planning

1. Venue change - due to them being completely incompetant!
2. Date change - 3 times!! First because we changed venue, second because we had been double booked, third time lucky!
3. 4 different wedding co-ordinators
4. Hearing that our venue may be in financial difficulties
5. Losing my hair at a vast rate of knots (no pun intended!)
6. I broke a tooth last week - fortunately a back one, but its sharp and keeps scratching my tongue and I will NOT go to the dentist as I am petrified of them
7. Best man had a car crash and is in a collar and might still be in it at the wedding (not his fault I know, but I dont want that on my photos!!)
8. Its my daughters 18th 3 days after we get married and she is feeling very left out

I will be glad when it is the actual day and I can just relax. I dont care what happens after, I just want to get married!! We will be having a non wedding Saturday as its my sons birthday, but Sunday I am going shopping with my Mom to Brum for an outfit (which wont be easy as she isnt exactly petite).

I know I sound like a brat, but I just want the day to arrive so that I dont have to do ANY MORE!!!!

Of all the things this is the one to get sorted as a priority
You may end up causing an ulcer on your tongue - been there done that and ended up talking with a lisp for several weeks till I plucked up the courage to go.

Search for dentists specialising in nervous people and let them know why you are nervous. I spoke to my dentist 3 times before I even got through the door.

Best Wishes
Gilly x