I'm scared of entering into a DMP! Please help!

chevalier

lonely wrote:

My comments are in blue

Creditors:
Alliance & Leicester Personal Loan, £5689what are the aprs and minimum payments for each of these?
Alliance & Leicester Personal Loan, £4109
Honours Student Loan, £3192
Lloyds TSB Personal Loan, £5932
AMEX Corporate Charge Card, £1700
Barclaycard Credit Card, £9741
HSBC Credit Card, £3000
Morgan Stanley Credit Card, £6205
Lloyds TSB Credit Card, £8990
Lloyds TSB Overdraft, £3000
Total: £51558 Do any of these cards have a low apr? Is there any space on them to balance transfer any high rate debt to, to save some interest. Do you have PPI on any of them? If so cancel it and save some more money that way.
One of the things with a DMP is that they suggest you set up a basic bank account not connected to any of your current creditors and pay your wages into this. You then treat your overdraft as another debt to be paid pro rata. Basic accounts allow direct debit payments, so you can transfer any that are going out of you current bank account.
If you open your new account via https://www.quidco.com, then you can get cashback too. Every little helps.
Have you had charges on any of these accounts? If so have a look at the reclaiming charges thread on this site, and start making claims once you have the basic bank account set up. Or look at https://www.consumeractiongroup.com to get template letters. You can get up to 6 years worth of charges back, which might help.


Income minus pension:
£2,646.00

Expenditure:
Mortgage £ 568.00
Secured Loans (2nd Mortgage) £ 74.00
Council Tax £ 72.00
Ground rent & Service Charge £ 75.00
Building Insurance £ 22.50 Is this half of the cost? If so I am sure you can get a better deal. Put your figures into https://www.confused.com and see if you can get a better deal. Then look on quidco to see if the new company is doing cash back, so getting a better deal and some money too.
Gas £ 25.00 Again have a look on https://www.uswitch.com to see if you are with the cheapest provider for this and electric (though wait a few weeks as companies are lowering prices right now). Again going via quidco could also get you cash back for swapping providers.
Electricity £ 25.00 To minimise your bill, switch everything off at the wall. Electrical appliances left on standby use almost as much electricity as when they are on.
Water £ 10.00
Other Life Assurance £ 20.00 This is the only life assurance I can see . Again check to see if you can get it cheaper.
TV Licence £ 5.75
Telephone(s) £ 40.00 switch to pay as you go?
Road Tax/MOT £ 18.00
Insurance £ 23.50 Is this insurance for the car? If so check it is the cheapest
Petrol/Oil/Diesel £ 185.00 Can you walk or cycle to cut this down?
Maintenance £ 30.00
Car Parking Charges £ 10.00 Is this for work? Should they pay?
Food £ 250.00 This is where you can make big savings. £500 a month, even including restaurant meals is very high for two people. I feed two adults, two children and two cats on £200 less than this a month. Try the storecupboard/freezer challenge where you use up what is in your cupboards/freezer for as long as possible, only using basics. I find that meal planning, cooking from scratch, batch cooking has saved me a fortune on my food bill, and we eat really well. You can look on the Old Style board for lots of cheap healthy recipes to give you inspiration. There is also threads on there about cleaning cheaply eg using cheap vinegar (16p a bottle) to descale your toilet:D . And yes it really works!!!
Laundry £ 20.00 What is this for? Can you really say you need to have this more than putting an extra £240 a year towards your debts?
Clothing/Footwear £ 75.00 No matter how smart you have to look for work, if you have been spending this for any length of time, then you must have plenty of clothes already. Either cut this out completely (except maybe for tights!:D ). And if you do have to buy something, then Tesco, Asda, Primark, Ebay and charity shops all do great clothing
Dentist/Prescriptions/Glasses £ 25.00
Pets £ 14.25
Hairdressing £ 8.00
Gym £ 50.00 (Could you not run for free? Or switch to a cheaper gym?)
Total Expenditure: £ 1,646.00

Available Surplus: £ 1,000.00

You end up with £1000 surplus, but I take it this is eaten up by the debt repayments? Either way this would certainly be enough for CCCS or Payplan to run a DMP for you. They are FREE, (don't go to one who charges!) and will help you with your creditors
I for one think that it might be better to tell your hubby once you have started making savings to your monthly budget, and once you have your DMP set up. In this way you can tell him you have debts, but also show him that you are doing something about it.

If he queries why you are checking all of your utility providers then you can tell him that you are reviewing them to make sure you are getting the best deal.

Finally is there anything you can sell on Ebay, Amazon, Green Metropolis etc to give your income a boost? There are also survey sites you can sign up to which pay you in either points (converted into vouchers later) or money. Unlike a second job you could do these, when on the computer.

Sorry this is so long, but I really felt for you. You must be under unbearable strain.
Hope this helps
chev

Bestthingsinlifearefree

lonely wrote:

I suppose I do know I have to tell him, I just don't know where to start. I have been living a lie for the last ten years, going on holidays when I knew I shouldn't, talking about children when I know I can't afford them yet, basically everything I've ever done or said money-wise was just a big, fat lie. That kind of lie is very hard to explain.

My hubby takes home roughly the same amount as me, so our joint income is about £100k. His debts are £6K and most of that is student loans. He will never look at me in the same way again. But I will find the courage to tell him, I know I must.

The good news. Is that with that type of joint income you could clear the family debts in about 24 months. If you both put your mind to it and become fully fledged MSE'ers.

You have options. Keep up the good work. Your head is probably spinning at the moment. But just talking about it honestly here and writing the SOA is massive progress.Keep posting.

I wish you well.:beer:

Best,

Bloody_Hell_2

L

I was in a similar postion a few weeks ago,
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=350322&highlight=desperate

You really do need to dig deep and find the courage to tel your husband - if you don't it will make things worse in the long run.

Mrs_J_3

Lonely,

There is no easy way to tell him, but I'm glad to hear you are going to tell him. You honestly will feel a huge wieght lifeted from you, even if it only means you have someone to talk things over with or have a good cry to.

We've all made daft mistakes, that's why most of us are on this board. For some people £1000 of debt is unsurmountable, the figure for the most part doesn't matter, what matters now is where you go from here.

You have a good income and should be able to make headway into these debts. Unfortunately, you may have moments when you fall of the DFW wagon; if you do, pick yourself back up and get on with things. DO NOT beat yourself up over how you got here and do not dwell on any slips ups, just learn from your mistakes and make your future debt free.

Take care sweetie and best of luck with hubby.

lonely_2

Thank you everyone, your kindness has nearly made me cry. Bloody Hell, your story really struck a chord with me. Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me too. I feel so embarrassed because like you everyone who knows me thinks I'm doing really well - apart from my mum and dad, who always say that I spend too much money. All their lives, my mum and dad saved money for us (me and my two sisters), despite being on low-ish incomes - they hardly ever went out, and went on holiday once every three or four years! The guilt is tearing me up inside but I hope once I start this DMP, I will feel differently and find the courage to tell my husband. In a way, I wish I could just show him this thread! I may just leave it up on the home computer, accidentally on purpose!!

Bloody_Hell_2

telling my husband was one of the hardest things i've ever done - but i'm glad I did, even though I'd convinced myself it would be the end our relationship, i'd got myself into the mindset of 'this is it, I'm going to be ending 20 years together!'. I was a wreck when I told him but having taken advice from this board, I'd been to see my doctor and onto the cccs website so had 'a plan'. The only thing I needed from him was if 'the plan' would involve him or not.
I won't pretend everything is all rosy + cosey, but he's making plans on how we're going celebrate being together 20 years later this year, so I know he's standing by me.
All the messages of support I had spoke of me 'having the courage' to tell him, trust me, it didn't feel like courage at the time!
I've since 'come clean' with close friends and family for the 1st time, Iwas expecting shock, dissapointment, basically a reaction from them all that I didn't get.
What I'm trying to say is, people surprise you. But going through this alone makes it much, much harder and I truely belive, part of the 'debt problem' anyway.
Have 'a plan' ready, pysche yourself up, and 'come clean' with those around you that can help and support you through this.
It's a lonely place on your own, and as i've discovered, those that truely care about you, hate to find out that your on your own

Bestthingsinlifearefree

lonely wrote:

Thank you everyone, your kindness has nearly made me cry. Bloody Hell, your story really struck a chord with me. Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me too. I feel so embarrassed because like you everyone who knows me thinks I'm doing really well - apart from my mum and dad, who always say that I spend too much money. All their lives, my mum and dad saved money for us (me and my two sisters), despite being on low-ish incomes - they hardly ever went out, and went on holiday once every three or four years! The guilt is tearing me up inside but I hope once I start this DMP, I will feel differently and find the courage to tell my husband. In a way, I wish I could just show him this thread! I may just leave it up on the home computer, accidentally on purpose!!

Hi L,

There is no need to feel lonely there are millions of people in the UK all in the same debt boat.

You are the start of a journey to be debt free, you have already taken some good positive steps.:beer:

Keep going forward !

e.g do your daily spending diary, make sandwiches for work, cut back where you can.

There maybe some stormy weather and dark financial clouds at the moment but the clear blue skies will return.


Best,

Benson112

Hi Lonely,

Im glad you made this post as i have been avoiding a DMP for some time now. It has got to a similar situation as yourself whereby my income doesnt match my outgoings. There are drastic measures now being taken (i.e. sellnig the house, both cars etc) to try and steady things out but im starting to think that i have made a huge mistake and should have just got a DMP!
Now i cant backtrack but can make possitive steps forward with a DMP after lsitening to all the comments on here.

I hope you sort it all out Lonely, and im sure your hubby will understand, even if he is mad at first he wont be mad forever. Seeing your loved one upset, worries, depressed is not something a man who loves you could do.

good luck!

zag2me

Good luck, you do need to tell him asap, but before you so, start paying it off.

Also make a plan to reduce your monthly expenditure, you can use this as evidence when you do tell him that you are on top of the problem.

The first thing that will flash into his head, is "will this continue", and then he will give you a hug

Newgirl_2

lonely wrote:

Thank you everyone, your kindness has nearly made me cry.

I feel so embarrassed because like you everyone who knows me thinks I'm doing really well

The guilt is tearing me up inside but I hope once I start this DMP, I will feel differently

((((((((((((((((( hugs)))))))))))))))))))

Most people's embarrassment is obvious in their first post. But I don't suppose any of us are on this section because we a financial wunderkind with millions in the bank... well, not yet

Forget the guilt - it will slow you down and give you an excuse to relapse. If anything happens to set you back, just remember you didn't build up the debt in a day and you won't get rid of it in one fell swoop. If you make a mistake, learn from it and move on.

The change in your tone from the first post to this one tells me you will do it. If you keep focused, the worst feeling you will have is 'why in heaven's name did it take me so long to make a start'.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

By the way... if you can't just tell him face to face, why not print off this thread and give it to him with a letter.

Newgirl