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'"Surprised to be contacted by the rudest, most aggressive human..."' blog discussion

Former_MSE_Helen Posts: 2,382 Forumite
This is the discussion to link on the back of Martin's blog. Please read the blog first, as this discussion follows it.

Please click 'post reply' to discuss below.


  • wanchai_2
    wanchai_2 Posts: 2,955 Forumite
    Ha ha ha ha :)

    7 Feb 2012: 10st7lbs :( 14 Feb: 10st4.5lbs :D 21 Feb: 10st4lbs * 1 March: 10st2.5lbs :j13 March: 10st3lbs (post-holiday) :o 30 March: 10st1.5lbs :D 4 April: 10st0.75lbs * 6 April: 9st13.5 lbs :) 27 April 9st12.5lbs * 16 May 9st12lbs * 11 June 9st11lbs * 15 June 9st9.5lbs * 20 June 9st8.5lbs :D 27 June 9st8lbs * 1 July 9st7lbs * 7 July 9st6.5lbs :D
  • John_Pierpoint
    What a cop out, you have not named the network operator.

    Back in the days when NTL tried to monopolise the cable market (and got in a horrible mess with customer service issues, not to mention becoming a node for the distribution of computer viruses)
    there was a masterful rant that went viral on the interweb and hopefully helped introduce the directors of NTL to the meaning of "Hubris".

    I wonder if anyone still has a copy ?
    As a former customer of "Diamond Cable" and virus victim, I remember it well.
    You will remember it if you do have a copy - it was the email that described the organisation as staffed by "b0llock-jugglers", but we all realised that was code for wally bankers.

    The rest is as they say history.
  • propertyman
    propertyman Posts: 2,922 Forumite
    The customer services team are there to solve problems which you have, but when it is their organisation that is at fault, you can't get past the call centres.

    I have taken to recording the calls and transcribing them ( for my own use to aid recollection not to replay hint hint) verbatim, and offering them to their PR companies to respond to prior to publication.

    It has yielded an almost instant response, two relented, and one said we will sue, I said ok which court and when, and they too relented.

    It made them listen, listen to me.
    Stop! Think. Read the small print. Trust nothing and assume that it is your responsibility. That way it rarely goes wrong.
    Actively hunting down the person who invented the imaginary tenure, "share freehold";
    if you can show me one I will produce my daughter's unicorn
  • pmduk
    pmduk Posts: 10,655 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post Combo Breaker
    edited 28 February 2012 at 7:54PM
    I've had similar problems with both 3 and orange, however I suspect this is Orange, as 3 are usually scrupulously polite.

    Last time it was the manager who was rudest of the lot, telling me that I hadn't bought the sim as there computer had no record of it being issued and their computer was incapable of making mistakes.

    Calling back 10 minutes later and speaking to a different team the problem was recognised instantly as their technical briefing had warned therm of the problem.

    It cost them quite a bit as I've not used them since and a friend cancelled his company's contract after realising that his own problems weren't isolated.
  • John_Pierpoint
    John_Pierpoint Posts: 8,391 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary
    edited 29 February 2012 at 2:37AM
    On the tweets it suggests it is "3".
    I had an issue with "T mobile" with some little jobsworth "supervisor" in the call centre telling me I did not have an issue and getting a tongue lashing from me. I recorded the call using a speaker phone and a 30 year old cassette player. "I am recording this conversation ......." in response to their "we are recording...." sometimes works wonders.

    By doing some internet research ("say no to 0870" that sort of thing) - I eventually managed to get through to the finance director's secretary who agreed that I did have an issue and I got a letter explaining how they would handle it.
  • fannyanna
    fannyanna Posts: 2,622 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Reading Gary's complaint letter certainly gave me a giggle. Nice one!
  • Amazingwoo
    I once sent a complaint letter to a numerical mobile phone provider - the manager rang back saying my email "....has been passed around the office, we all think it's fantastic".....he agreed the service they were providing me with was dire and cancelled my contract early for me without penalty.

    I've discovered injecting humour into a complaint gets better results than a complaint that is a full on hostile rant.
  • MoneySavingUser
    ROFL - hilarious but also totally true I'm afraid
  • fatbelly
    fatbelly Posts: 20,962 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Cashback Cashier
    Back in the days when NTL tried to monopolise the cable market (and got in a horrible mess with customer service issues, not to mention becoming a node for the distribution of computer viruses) there was a masterful rant that went viral on the interweb and hopefully helped introduce the directors of NTL to the meaning of "Hubris".

    I wonder if anyone still has a copy ?

    This one ?
    Dear Cretins,

    I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for
    your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this
    three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had
    not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity
    of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details,
    so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to
    rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can
    have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working
    day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:
    My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my
    spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat a**e waiting for your
    technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57
    minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more
    annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful

    I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes
    - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
    The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
    although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -
    such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem
    had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem
    arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
    I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours
    between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am
    still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my
    mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a
    variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly
    skilled bollock jugglers.

    I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
    will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone
    will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows
    whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off);
    that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an
    answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be
    transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating
    Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
    Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
    thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
    those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't
    care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's
    in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me,
    therefore, if I continue.

    I thought BT were s**t, that they had attained the holy !!!!-pot of godawful
    customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more
    disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to
    their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't
    anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered
    to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless
    shower of b*****ds you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of
    distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.

    British Telecom - prats though they are - shine like brilliant beacons
    of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless
    inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and
    foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that
    you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for
    the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to
    deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and
    disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused
    rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my
    cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for
    both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not
    become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the
    time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did
    not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them
    the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless

    Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you
    irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of t**ts.

  • John_Pierpoint
    John_Pierpoint Posts: 8,391 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary
    That is the one - once read never forgotten even in this expurgated version.
This discussion has been closed.
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