'"Surprised to be contacted by the rudest, most aggressive human..."' blog discussion

Former_MSE_Helen

This is the discussion to link on the back of Martin's blog. Please read the blog first, as this discussion follows it.

Read Martin's ""Surprised to be contacted by the rudest, most aggressive human being in the world" " Blog.

Please click 'post reply' to discuss below.

wanchai_2

Ha ha ha ha

Classic.

John_Pierpoint

What a cop out, you have not named the network operator.

Back in the days when NTL tried to monopolise the cable market (and got in a horrible mess with customer service issues, not to mention becoming a node for the distribution of computer viruses)
there was a masterful rant that went viral on the interweb and hopefully helped introduce the directors of NTL to the meaning of "Hubris".

I wonder if anyone still has a copy ?
As a former customer of "Diamond Cable" and virus victim, I remember it well.
You will remember it if you do have a copy - it was the email that described the organisation as staffed by "b0llock-jugglers", but we all realised that was code for wally bankers.

The rest is as they say history.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgin_Media

propertyman

The customer services team are there to solve problems which you have, but when it is their organisation that is at fault, you can't get past the call centres.

I have taken to recording the calls and transcribing them ( for my own use to aid recollection not to replay hint hint) verbatim, and offering them to their PR companies to respond to prior to publication.

It has yielded an almost instant response, two relented, and one said we will sue, I said ok which court and when, and they too relented.

It made them listen, listen to me.

pmduk

I've had similar problems with both 3 and orange, however I suspect this is Orange, as 3 are usually scrupulously polite.

Last time it was the manager who was rudest of the lot, telling me that I hadn't bought the sim as there computer had no record of it being issued and their computer was incapable of making mistakes.

Calling back 10 minutes later and speaking to a different team the problem was recognised instantly as their technical briefing had warned therm of the problem.

It cost them quite a bit as I've not used them since and a friend cancelled his company's contract after realising that his own problems weren't isolated.

John_Pierpoint

On the tweets it suggests it is "3".
I had an issue with "T mobile" with some little jobsworth "supervisor" in the call centre telling me I did not have an issue and getting a tongue lashing from me. I recorded the call using a speaker phone and a 30 year old cassette player. "I am recording this conversation ......." in response to their "we are recording...." sometimes works wonders.

By doing some internet research ("say no to 0870" that sort of thing) - I eventually managed to get through to the finance director's secretary who agreed that I did have an issue and I got a letter explaining how they would handle it.

fannyanna

Reading Gary's complaint letter certainly gave me a giggle. Nice one!

Amazingwoo

I once sent a complaint letter to a numerical mobile phone provider - the manager rang back saying my email "....has been passed around the office, we all think it's fantastic".....he agreed the service they were providing me with was dire and cancelled my contract early for me without penalty.

I've discovered injecting humour into a complaint gets better results than a complaint that is a full on hostile rant.

MoneySavingUser

ROFL - hilarious but also totally true I'm afraid

fatbelly

John_Pierpoint wrote: »

Back in the days when NTL tried to monopolise the cable market (and got in a horrible mess with customer service issues, not to mention becoming a node for the distribution of computer viruses) there was a masterful rant that went viral on the interweb and hopefully helped introduce the directors of NTL to the meaning of "Hubris".

I wonder if anyone still has a copy ?

This one ?

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for
your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this
three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had
not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity
of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details,
so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to
rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can
have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working
day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my
spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat a**e waiting for your
technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57
minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more
annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful
website....HOW?

I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes
- an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -
such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem
had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem
arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours
between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am
still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my
mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a
variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly
skilled bollock jugglers.

I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows
whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off);
that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an
answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be
transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating
Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't
care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's
in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me,
therefore, if I continue.

I thought BT were s**t, that they had attained the holy !!!!-pot of godawful
customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more
disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to
their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't
anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered
to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless
shower of b*****ds you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of
distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.

British Telecom - prats though they are - shine like brilliant beacons
of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless
inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and
foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that
you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for
the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to
deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and
disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused
rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my
cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for
both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not
become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the
time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did
not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them
the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless
employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you
irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of t**ts.

John

John_Pierpoint

That is the one - once read never forgotten even in this expurgated version.