relatives in need of our help,how best to help them

cabra1

My sister in law,her three kids & partner
are on the verge of moving into a
homeless family hostel.they are on benefits
they have been having a bad time of things
of late and despite everything they have
tried they will be losing their present home.

We would like to help them as we are a low income
family ourselves,financialy there is nothing we can
do to help on that score.No one else in the family
is interested in their plight.

So its just us,can anyone suggest practical things
we can do to help them.The kids are lovely and its
proving really hard going for them.I had thought
of inviting them round for meals.

Has anyone any ideas about what we could do to
make this a bit easier for them and take some of
the strain out of their present situation.

any suggestions
are gratefuly welcome.

kethry

Inviting them round for meals would be great.. i think the other two things i can think of is offering your bathroom to them (i know the facilities in homeless hostels ain't great and ain't all that private, i think).. and also your washing machine.

more than that, just treating them as people will be a big thing to them i think, when you go through the system you get treated as a case, a number, and to be spoken to as a person will make a big difference. just be there for them, as their friends.

that kinda thing you cannot put a price on.

i hope they find their way out of what is obviously a horrible situation sooner rather than later.

HTH

keth
xx

cabra1

thanks Kethry I when I invite them round
I will make sure they bring as much washing
as they like & let them get showers too.

its the kids that are worrying me especially
one of them she is posativly petrified

sarahlouise210

If they are on benefits - can they not rent a privately rented home and receive housing benefit?? From experience is it best to go into the "homeless accommodation" as this gives you greater points for a council property. They have all had a traumatic time for whatever reason and it is reassuring to know someone is l ooking out for them! The kids will be filled with uncertainty..will miss their "stuff"..and the family wil probably suffer through stress. I hope they get a new home soon

pboae

I had a relative in the same position. It was heartbreaking for everyone. As Kethry said, offering your washing machine would be wonderful. Also letting them batch cook in your kitchen so they can freeze food and just reheat it. The kitchen facilities can be terrible.

If you have any space you could offer to store some of their stuff. My rel lost of lot of things of sentimental value as she just didn't have the space in the hostel to keep things.

Maybe offer to have the kids so the parents can have some time together.

If they are OK with it, go round and visit for a cup of tea. Some people don't like that, and don't want people round, other people get down that nobody will visit them. It's hard to judge it sometimes. But don't avoid them because you are embarrased or awkward about what they are going through.

Also, be prepared for when they do get rehoused. That can be an even more difficult time. My rel was given a beautiful 3 bedroom house for her and her kids, she got a £250 loan to furnish it, the kids had no beds, she didn't even have a fridge or cooker. They went from living in one room to rattling round in this huge empty house, and she was completely overwhelmed by it all.

I'm glad your SiL has you looking out for her.

ka7e

The loan of a secure garage for their belongings to avoid storage costs or having their goods seized with the house?

EthelBloggs

I was in this situation with my children when my marriage broke up.

All of the above suggestions are excellent.. I so hated using the shower that other people had been in and often didn't leave it as you would like to find it and trying to get littl'uns to use it was impossible

Ditto the shared kitchen.. and as for dragging all the washing to the launderette...... nightmare!!

We had a very small fridge just with an icebox at the top of it, no freezer and there was no microwave either, in the end we got a small one to keep in our room which made life a helluva lot easier.

i wish them well and you're a star for wanting to help

Karrie

Thankfully, I have never been in that position but if I was, I would want someone like you looking out for me.

:T

cabra1

thanks for the advice everyone
we went round today to see them
they are packing up everything
it seems the council will send a
lorry round to collect their belongings
and put them in storage.

They can take a kettle,toaster &
microwave with them.Clothes,bedding,
toilletries and some small toys for the kids.
It seems they wont find out which
hostel they are going to until the
morning of the eviction (22nd).
We are going up on Thursday
morning to take them to the
hostel in our car

We have just reassured the kids that
so long as they are all together,with
the people they each love the most
then all will be well.We have said we will
take the kids for weekends and offered
our washer for them to use,as well as
showers and meals.

[Deleted User]

cabra1 what a lovely person you are. I have tears in my eyes

seven-day-weekend

I wish you and your family well.