How do you make your place feel like home? Renter says it can never feel like home

RobertoMoir

rentergirl wrote: »

And we are reminded of this fact every day, buy rules on what we can do with the flat we pay to live in.

Oddly enough, I own - well part own along with the bank - my house and it turns out there are all kinds of rules here too. And not all of them will go away when I pay the bank off either.

And yet it feels like home. As did the rented places I've lived in the past. How very strange.

Having said that. I do agree totally with

Callie22 wrote: »

I'm not shallow, but it is hard to make somewhere a 'home' when you have little control or security.

Own_Feet

Callie22 wrote: »

As a tenant, I struggle to make rentals, especially our current place, feel like home. To me, a home is somewhere that is secure, and somewhere where I can have control over who comes in and when. It's hard to feel like that when your landlord and letting agent don't really believe in respecting your privacy.

The lack of control is frustrating in other ways - like when you have to live with disrepair for weeks and weeks because the landlord won't give permission for repairs, or when you have to live with other people's choices in terms of decor. In one house we lived in, the kitchen worktops needed replacing and rather than matching what was already there (a nice, fairly expensive beigy colour), the landlord replaced them with the cheapest of the cheap matt black stuff, which irritated me every time I looked at it. It's also frustrating not to be able to do the little things that make you more comfortable - like putting a coat rack up, or a nail in the kitchen to hang a clock or a calendar, or insulating the loft ...

A 'home' is somewhere where you can control your surroundings - put a shelf up, paint a wall etc. Again, I think I've been unlucky but most of my landlords have been the 'just waiting till the market gets better' types who want the house looking like a hymn to magnolia so that it's 'sellable'. From a practical point of view, I'm also not really willing to spend money on someone elses' house if I'm only living there on a six month contract, and again I've struggled to find anywhere that offers more than that. It's the little things like wanting to grow some veggies, that kind of thing - it's hard to get motivated to plant them when you don't know if you're going to be there to see them grow, or if you'll be able to move somewhere that'll take pots and planters.

I'm not shallow, but it is hard to make somewhere a 'home' when you have little control or security.

My sentiments exactly.

Radsteral

blossomhill wrote: »

Cats!

or more cats!

My ex wanted one and we got one... I always fed the cat with what i ate myself but my wife was saying if we dont feed the shop food etc she wont be healthy...so we did buy wiskas:rotfl:
Cat got sick, and almost got me bankrrupt with the veterinary fees:rotfl:
Never again...better buy a toy cat:rotfl: cheaper though not very homely

Callie22

Eton_Rifle wrote: »

I agree with everything else you say but not this. You are extremely fortunate to rent in the UK where you absolutely CAN control who comes in your door. You really need to appreciate and take advantage of that. For god's sake, you can even change the locks!

I live in the US and can only dream of that kind of privacy and control. My landlord can come in my house every single day if he wanted to, whether I'm there or not. That's his right. One previous landlord actually put our home up for sale while we were still locked in for a whole further year. Can you imagine a full year of forced viewings, at least every single weekend day and also coming home after work to find your front door wide open and strangers in the house?

This situation is unimaginable in the UK. So be grateful and appreciate the huge right of privacy you have! You have no idea how lucky you are in this respect!

I'm sorry, but I don't agree - I think we're both in pretty much the same position. Yes, in law I have a right to stop viewings and change the locks, but then in law my landlord is able to evict me at the end of my fixed term for no reason at all. If I get an eviction notice and have to move it'll cost me a lot of time, hassle and money, so how have I gained anything by exercising my 'rights'? Chances are I'll just end up out of pocket and with a bad reference.

My current landlord had absolutely no idea that he couldn't just come into the house when he wanted - as he saw it, it was 'still his house' and he could do what he liked, when he liked. He was extremely p****d off when he realised that he couldn't do that. My letting agency aren't much better, I've lost count of the phone calls I've had saying 'x is on his way round to check this, inspect that, don't worry, we've got a key and we'll let ourselves in' - again, I have this wonderful theoretical right to refuse access or demand 24 hours notice but dare I risk it?

And with regard to viewings and putting houses on the market - well, I've been there and done that. Signed a six month contract, found out a few weeks later that the LL was selling the house, had the LL hassling for viewings otherwise 'you'll get a reputation as a bad tenant and the new LL won't keep you on'. So then you come to an arrangement about viewings, only to have the LL ranting at you down the phone because he can't come round when he wants and you're being accused of losing him the sale. And then being evicted anyway because the new owners want vacant possession.

Another time, my partner and I (very stupidly) rented a house from a church, thinking that they'd at least behave a bit more honestly and there was little chance of the church property being sold. Have you ever found out that the 'long term rental' next to a church that you've moved into has just sold, and found out that you're about to be evicted by reading how 'they'll be sorry to lose their tenants' in the parish magazine? I have ...

Lifeforms

I rent currently, and whilst I wouldn't call it feet up by the fire/range home, It's homely to me. I have my stuff, I have my cat here, I can have friends and family around and not be perved on. My last flat I owned definitely wasn't home at the end of it, so anything was better. I have damp in the bathroom, dodgy doors, weird kitchen floor, bad old decorating sense, but I'm still far far happier and homely here, than in one I owned.

breadlinebetty

Eliza wrote: »

Maybe but I'm sure an awful lot of people only keep any one individual house for a few years - and it's one individual house she's talking about here. We then buy, or rent another, move on and the original one is in the past being lived in by someone else. I don't know any family who has lived in the same house for always.

I think you're splitting hairs there.:cool: Of course most homeowners sell their properties and either trade up or upsize/downsize to a different property, but we're discussing the current property - whether it be the owners first house or tenth house!

Whether it's the first or tenth home - that's not really the issue!

breadlinebetty

Cissi wrote: »

Except that in this case she never owned her home, the bank did! I really don't understand why people in this country (I grew up on the Continent where renting is much more the norm) feel that a house "belongs" to them when they're mortgaged to the hilt. Unless you're mortgage-free or at least have a high proportion of equity you're simply renting it from the bank.

And to say that a rented house or flat can't feel like home is complete tosh. We rented our last house for 4 years before buying again 2.5 years ago and both my children still have fond memories of our "old" house. Yes, we now own our house outright which gives us a sense of FINANCIAL stability but this wouldn't be the case if we had a large mortgage on it. We love this house and see it as our "forever home" - but we were also very happy in our rented house which was also lovely.

Yes, in this woman's particular case she did not have any equity in her home, so of course she didn't own it. Had she not been so stupid, and not taken loans out against it and paid her mortgage, then eventually she would have owbed the property!


It's not always true that "Unless you're mortgage-free or at least have a high proportion of equity you're simply renting it from the bank."

It depends on your mortgage. If you have a Repayment mortgage you pay off part of the capital each month along with the interest - so each month you actually own MORE of the property, until eventually you own it outright. Add to the fact mortgages go DOWN with unflation - while rents go up - your mortgage repayments become peanuts 10 years from now, plus, with your capital asset growing your repayments become even LESS. It's a win-win situation!

breadlinebetty

Lifeforms wrote: »

I rent currently, and whilst I wouldn't call it feet up by the fire/range home, It's homely to me. I have my stuff, I have my cat here, I can have friends and family around and not be perved on. My last flat I owned definitely wasn't home at the end of it, so anything was better. I have damp in the bathroom, dodgy doors, weird kitchen floor, bad old decorating sense, but I'm still far far happier and homely here, than in one I owned.

Cats definitely seem the way forward...........

seven-day-weekend

We have never rented privately (our only rental property was a Council flat for two years when we were in our twenties), although I have been a landlord.

I can't imagine how living in a place where you are not allowed to paint it or change the carpet or alter the layout of the garden without permission can ever seem like home.

I understand that some people have no choice, but if there is a choice I would say buy every time, unless you have the type of job that involves frequent moving.

And you will own it eventually. We finished paying for our family home in the 1990s. Just don't have an interest-only mortgage!

(Said home has a £30,000 remortgage on it at the moment, as we needed to raise some capital, but we will pay the mortgage off once the sale of our Spainish house has completed).

dizziblonde

Never had a problem making a place I lived in feel like home - few rugs, few pictures on the walls (always been allowed them, always repaired the holes as I've left apart from one landlord who liked you to leave picture hooks up and in-situ instead)... no problem.

However, unlike Madam Plonkersworthy's hideous rental trauma, I've never wanted to let my 2 year old draw on the walls, or mark children's heights on the walls in order to make a house a home (!!!!!! stick a sheet of paper or blutack a bit of wood to the inside of a cupboard and do it on there if you have that level of burning desire) and I've never viewed "feeling like home" to be a licence to damage a rented house - hence having things like rugs down to protect the carpets a bit. Wouldn't do it in a property I owned either - although I'll confess to one serious anti-magnolia crusade when we bought this place - the one thing I really missed when renting was being able to have some colour on the walls.

Silly woman - hell she's even getting slated in the DM comments section and normally they'd make anyone look left-wing in comparison - repeatedly remortgaged away any shreds of equity she'd built up in the house, assumed the infinite credit would go on forever and then suddenly they got snookered with no equity, no ability to remortgage anymore and gosh - they have to slum it and rent - the horror! The trauma!

About the only thing the DM article's missing for full-on middle class triumph through adversity bingo is cupcakes... they usually manage to re-buy their idyllic home via the power of a bit of sugar frosting and some sparkly sprinkles.

Renting for us was the best decision for a long time - rather than being forced to buy at the top of the market like we would have had to do - we managed to get in at the bottom of the market meaning we got a nicer house in a better area because we bided our time that few years... even my mother, who bugged the living daylights out of me for years about renting and not buying - now accepts that those few years I hung fire and didn't rush into things, and had the flexibility to move around chasing work until life stabilised somewhat, meant I got a much better deal when we did take the leap than we would have done otherwise.