Enter The Dragon.... lionheartedgirl starts to roar!

lionheartedgirl

OK so as if there isn't quite enough to be going on with at the moment, I applied for my student loan etc last night, and it said I can't get a loan for my tuition fees. Felt very sick last night and completely numb.

I rang them this morning, it's because I previously went to uni and dropped out after changing my course a few times. Because I started a second year, they will fund one less year of my course.

They have said if I can write in with compelling personal circumstances they may review the decision. It was a pretty shocking time physically and emotionally but it's also getting on for 15 years ago now so providing proof will be difficult. I'll write and post a letter today and make it as detailed as I can without whining

I'm not sure where this leaves me - I'm not sure I really want to put myself through all this for 4 years. If I can't get a loan for the funding for my first year, I certainly can't afford to pay this on my own.

Not sure whether this is an obstacle/stumbling block/test/challenge, or a sign that it's not the right path for me. If I don't go to college I really do not know what else I will do. Looks like I'd better get some options sorted out.

Really glad I haven't put my notice in at work yet - but I definitely don't want to be there any more so am going to have to do something else instead.

MrsMoo2U

hello.
First, have a hug.

I would say that all those feelings that you had after a lovely weekend are normal but it might be an idea to have a chat to the Dr anyway as you have nothing to lose by that.

Sorry to hear that you have had that news about the loan. Is it a stumbling block or a sign? Well I guess that one leads to the other. It depends how much you really want to go to college as to which it is. For example if you write that letter and put your heart and soul into it then it is an obstacle to be overcome. If you don't feel inclined to fight for that funding then it may be that it isn't what you really want. Only you will know the answers to that.

You do say that you dont know what else you will do if you dont go to college and that you know that you dont want to do what you are doing now. So the thing to ask yourself is why did you apply for college, was it something you really want to do or is it a way of leaving your current job behind? Again only you can answer those questions.

These things are thrown at you no matter what you decide to do so the trick is to work out why you are doing what you are doing and if its really the right thing in the first place.

I hope that it all works out for you. But no matter what happens know that you will be ok. Just look at how you have coped with things in your life so far. You are a strong, intelligent, talented, beautiful woman who will go far whatever you do.

lionheartedgirl

Thanks MrsM definitely in need of hugs. I am done with 'coping', I want to get on with living to the max now.

The TT has started and if I am really honest, right now my head is a long way away, whizzing round at silly speeds on 2 wheels. I would happily turn my life over to pursue my dream of taking part in the Manx GP (the amateur version of the TT, runs later in the year) :cool: but that would require a full time job to fund the racing, and giving up harp as I know it.

It would be all consuming and leave little time for much else. I would probably have much more luck finding a nice man if I did that though! :rotfl: I realised from the weekend how important the bike thing is to me, and how important it is to have in someone else.

I feel like I am having to make a massive decision, but that I have been here before, made life changing decisions and turned round on a sixpence, and then it's not ended up being what I wanted after all. So I'm very scared that I am not in the right frame of mind to make this particular decision. I don't need to make it yet, until I get the decision back re the loan. But I will be mulling it over as normal.

Money news - being a bit naughty this month. Since sorting my loan and the big BT, I will have a bit more money left out of today's pay packet.

This should go towards debt clearance, but I feel so miserable about the wardrobe situation that i am going to use it to do some updating.

Most of my week off next week will be spent practising or doing house stuff, but as a reward for surviving next Wednesday's recital, I have blocked out next Thursday for me to have all to myself, for fun things. Think I will head off and do some shopping. There's a couple of exhibitions on at the V&A too which might be good to go to, but it will be a bit full on heading into London I think and I need something a bit more chilled out.

I feel like a right old moaning minnie. It's not my normal style, this is just me getting it all out

redsquirrel80

Another hug here - I saw on your blog that there was something up. I've been in the same situation years ago when I'd done an HND so couldn't get funded for the first year of a degree - I ended up using an overdraft to pay my fees, but that was in the days when fees were a couple of thousand.

See what happens about the loan, but if you don't get it and you still have your heart set on it there are other ways - there are lots of trusts and organisations out there who give at least small grants. If you decide to go down that route feel free to give me a shout as I've got a fair bit of info and useful links on it through work.

Be kind to yourself xx

MrsMoo2U

As squiggs says be kind to yourself. Good idea to take the pressure off and make decisions only when you have all the info.

lionheartedgirl

another new diary... this one had got a bit lost.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/53891283#Comment_53891283