Enter The Dragon.... lionheartedgirl starts to roar!

lionheartedgirl

Scuse the slightly cheesy title :rotfl:

This is my third diary on MSE - linkies as below:

under my old username - changed it to hide from my ex but now I don't care what he reads.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2174635

under my current username, as I started to move on.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3185808

I meant to start this new diary at the start of the Chinese New Year - this has a huge impact where I work (and especially on some projects I am currently involved in) and the January New Year was rather caught up in being ill and quite literally getting my house in order after some building work.

A bit about me.... I am 33 years old, single and 'mum' to 2 adopted retired racing greyhounds. I live in a sleepy bit of North Essex, just outside a major town which is rather on the old side

I work in finance, and have a sideline in playing a rather unwieldy musical instrument which has taken over my life. My passion in life is motorbikes and the racing of. I am currently 'resting' from this while my finances recover from a divorce (I took on a HUGE mortgage and an old house needing a lot of work) and then a subsequent disastrous relationship, during which I over-committed myself on the basis of having another income when my ex fiance moved in (who shall be known on here as SB).

My LBM was originally in October 2009 when I first found MSE :money:. I had been north of £31k in debt at one point, but had got things down a little when I joined. This dropped to £27k, then bounced back to £30k, then made it down to £24k and is now hovering around £28k again. I am a serial rate tart, I have a good income and good payment history so am extremely fortunate to be able to juggle BTs across CCs.

My second LBM hit in the new year. I have had a fair few things to deal with emotionally over the last couple of years, some with financial effects as well. But, fundamentally, no matter how 'worthy' what I spend my money on, in terms of fixing up my house, or a long term investment in my second career, if the cash isn't there, I shouldn't spend the money.

So. This is me re-focusing on the financial aspects of transforming my life to suit me. Last year was a year of healing after the emotional fall-out from a cancelled wedding in 2010 and waking up to and dealing with the emotional abuse that had been going on.

I count myself incredibly lucky that my life is now wonderfully full in non-financial terms:

• I have made some fantastic friends in the last 18 months, after finding out that those who I thought were close friends were actually not.
• I am close to my immediate family and this relationship has improved since the crap with the wedding.
• I realised how important pets are to me and have 2 - they are my little piece of my perfect life that I get to live every day.
• I appreciate things that don't cost much - good food, time spent with friends, books, music, fresh air and my surroundings.

I have also made some wonderful virtual MSE friends and I hope a few folks will follow me on the next stage of the journey.

Money's tight, I need to make this work and get shot of this debt because it is stopping me live the life I really want. Having sorted a few other things in the last year, I now need to knuckle down and sort out my finances while not losing sight of the things that make life worth living :j

girlwiththesuninherhead

Hi there!!

It's been a while since I had a good catch up on MSE and glad I found you!

Best of luck on your knuckling down and still enjoying life and all the good stuff it can bring.

I'm behind you (and with you) all the way.

I'm currently fed up with not getting anywhere and finding it more and more difficult to get back on track with everything but it will all fall into place sometime soon. No-one ever said it was going to be easy (mmm wasn't that lyrics from a very old Inspiral Carpets track - I'm going to have to google, bear with me...... yep - I Want You - Inspiral Carpets with Mark E Smith) so I have to learn to stop being too hard with myself. I make decisions - sometimes they're right and sometimes they're not as right as they could be!

Right, it's late. I'm tired. I'm so glad to catch up again and let's all crack this together. The ups and the downs, the good and the not-so-good - it's so much easier with company than on your own (well for me it is anyway!)

Take care,

girlwiththesuninherhead
x

ps I am going back for more counselling. Looks like I didn't quite crack that bit after all

hypno06

Hi! Happy new diary and I hope that the next chapter is a good one for you - spring and summer are well and truly on the way, and there are good times ahead!

Hope to see you soon

lionheartedgirl

:j thanks both !

GWTSIHH you will be pleased to hear that I now have a 6 music habit on my work from home days and Groove Armada are currently doing their Superstylin thing, I am LOVING it! I had never listened to it before til a couple of weeks ago but after your mentioning it lots (and my singer friend) I decided to check it out. Thanks for that!

Another reason for the cheesy title of my diary was a little random conversation with a new work chum yesterday - we sit in different corners of the office but happened to both be heading to the bank yesterday lunchtime so off we went together. We share a love of petrol-powered things and were chatting about new cars. She talked about feeling like a Grumpy Dragon guarding treasure as she had been saving for a while then changed her mind on what car she wanted.

I loved the idea of guarding treasure - at the moment I don't have any spare to guard - but it did make me think about making better decisions about how I spend my hard earned and not frittering it away.

I need to get my meal plan sorted as I haven't been to the supermarket in ages - I haven't spent much which is good, but it does mean I am hitting the vending machine at work for mid morning nibbles whereas normally I would have a stash.

Can't remember if I said on my old diaries but I have entered a triathlon later this year. I really need to get my butt into gear for this. I am not unfit but there is a LOT of training to be done. This week's target is to go for a swim on Friday lunchtime and to download the cto5k podcast (unless I dreamt the existence of that!). Dad is fixing my bike and I should get this back soon.

In the last few years, I have challenged myself in many areas but I've never done such a physical/sporty challenge before so it's rather exciting. I'm hoping it will get me nice and fit and buff and I will want to keep that :cool:

Today is a work from home day, lots to do so best crack on. ....

redsquirrel80

Hello :hello: Happy new diary!

lionheartedgirl

oooh hello stranger! :hello: hope you are well and still tootling away! I found a little bit of a revelation the other day, it has helped me relax my arms when harping, and thought of you (not because of the harping!)

I've just been checking through SB's phone account (which is still in my name) - he has paid me today for the next month's bill, and I am utterly flipping well delighted to realise that there is just one more payment for him to make in a month's time. I'll need to get in touch to ask him if he wants to swap it over to PAYG otherwise I will just cancel it when the contract ends :j :beer: :j

Once this is paid I will ask him about coming to collect his stuff, and if there is STILL no movement on it, it will be gone. I have put it off for ages, for my own good reasons, but not long left now

had a meehhhhhh job today which I had to keep coming back to, still can't find the answer so will come back to it again tomorrow. I'm off to see my counselling lady this evening, lots to talk about so should be good.

Souk08

Hi lovely. Happy New Diary. I'm here x

lionheartedgirl

thanks Souk, great to hear from you!

Been a while since I was last on but it seems the LBM has definitely struck this time. I am off to sunny Manchester this weekend, and with kennels, hotel and fuel to pay it won't be a cheap one. But I have budgeted and it will be fine, and I am NOT missing out.

Since the start of the year I seem to have had a hectic time in all sorts of ways, but by far the nicest way to be hectic is on the social front. This I think is going to be the hardest to manage, as I am so determined to make the most of this. It was such a desert for such a long time that I just don't want to say no to nice things that come my way.

So far this has been quite cheaply managed (thanks firstly to my wonderful singer friend who is similarly budget conscious, and secondly to my choice to drive a lot of the time) but I need to keep a careful eye on it.

I'm a bit of a Radio 4 buff and often listen to PM on my way home - the last few weeks, lots of people have been talking about making the most of the extra day by doing something different/out of the ordinary. It has really got me thinking and so I decided to make a few leaps of my own today.

I went to a thing in town supposedly about Creative Journalling - free and sounded intriguing. It was not for me, and I left a few minutes through. I just couldn't be bothered and decided I could make better use of the time.

I had my first real run today and I really enjoyed it. I think when I have tried before, I have been trying to go too fast. But I had a long chat with a work colleague and this really helped. I had a little prance out last night while walking the dog, and it was fine. In fact I think my dogs could be good training partners - for them they aren't even remotely breaking a sweat but they were very patient with me!

I downloaded a really good app on my phone to help me manage all my money - it's working well so far and I feel really positive about getting through all this debt. Food spends have been good - I re-discovered a really lovely cheap curry which will be nice in a wrap/pitta for work lunches as well.

Hope this lasts!

lionheartedgirl

well, it's been a slow start to this diary hasn't it! :eek: Time is not on my side at the moment.

I wrote a huge long post last night, but I was so down, I depressed myself by reading it so hit delete instead

I'm still whacked out from the weekend, and not in a good way, but energy levels are recovering and the light is there at the end of the tunnel thank goodness.

Work sucks at the moment, so am planning to knuckle down with my CV and start looking properly.

Made a huge decision and am going to sell my harp - 'just' trading down for the time being, which will reduce my monthly commitments and clear a decent chunk of debt. A couple of cheaper, and of course lesser, ones have come up at the right time so hopefully a deal can be done.

Things are mental here and some stuff is coming to a head, in my head, if that makes sense - lots of decisions are starting to come to the fore and the time feels right to think about them.

The man situation is still rubbish so am planning on investigating the internet dating thing again.

Money is tight this month beyond belief - my weekend up north last weekend was sadly not worth the sacrifices I have had to make to be able to afford to go. I should have stayed with my gran and spent the time with her instead.

New money app is working well and I am hoping to get training run no.3 in tomorrow night after Brownies. My bike (non motorised variety) is back from my dad so I am going to to head out on that on Sunday, weather and asthma permitting.

Will be back with a better update soon but hope all are well in the mean time x

lionheartedgirl

the bike ride went really well :j apart from seeing the incredibly lovely mechanic while I was out....:eek: thank heavens he wasn't behind me as he would have had an eyeful! :rotfl:

I am LOVING my money tracking app. My trip to Manchester is going to take a couple of months to wash through but everything else is on track.

Debt today stands at £27,332.67 excluding my overdraft which moves and is never more than about £600 (and I only pay interest over £250 so not bad), and my loan from the bank of Mum and Dad of £1500. I have harp income to come which will more than cover this so am not counting it for now.

I had a fantastic day out on Friday with one of my friends, many many giggles and I hope to apply to one of the places we went to see if there are any jobs going. It would mean a huge move, a massive lifestyle change but it could be very, very good indeed. No harm dreaming hey

I have updated my CV and sent it off to a couple of agencies. My work situation is getting me down, there is nothing more interesting on the horizon in my day job despite having asked my boss, and there is unlikely to be any increase in pay any time soon. I feel good for having made the decision to look elsewhere.

My aunt is doing well which is the most important thing at the moment.

I'm not posting much but I am still reading and want to keep my diary going. Thought about it lots but I like it here and want to stay

Love to all x

lionheartedgirl

wrote a big long post this morning but then my broadband went down so it got eaten, and I spent a very frustrating morning on the phone to BT. Sounds like things are happening though which is good.

I'm researching other options though for my broadband. It's been fine for the last 6 years I've lived here but the last couple of months have been a PITA. I've got my iPhone set up so it can be a hotspot which meant I didn't lose too much work time today.

Was very down last night but am better today after a day in my house with my lovely dogs and some sunshine. I'm feeling like I haven't really moved on in any big way - the normal problem of comparing myself to others. I have no new house, new baby, other piece of paper etc. All the changes are inside and while I know they are there, I feel very stuck at times.

Plus a couple of my friends are moving on, a bit sooner than planned. One of them will really change things for me and this will leave a big hole. She is my last single friend left here, and I do feel like there maybe isn't much left for me here any more, but I really don't want to have to move town/city unless I can be reasonably confident it will be for the last time. I know these days you can't really guarantee anything though

I had a good think though, about what would I would really like right now. The first is a decent break from work. The second is a manhunt The second is probably a bit easier in the short term.... I've been humming and hahing about internet dating for a while but maybe it's time to bite the bullet and actually do it. My head is in a reasonable place on this front I think, and if I don't try I won't know.

I have also pencilled in some days off over Easter and asked my boss for them as I'm not in til Monday and don't want to leave it til then. This will be a good opportunity for a bit of a breather and a chance to get my house back under control.

I have my harp buddy coming to stay this weekend - it will be great to see her. I need to feed her though, so had best get planning. Money is tight for both of us so I know she won't have high expectations

I needed to clear my spare room so she can sleep in it, and this didn't take as long as I thought. So this has inspired me to sort a bit more stuff out tonight. I can't even get in the other spare room for junk :eek: This is all carried over from the work before Christmas.

Not much else going on really. I feel like I know where I want to be, but it's going to be a long slog to get there. Maybe I should be happier with what I've got, but I'm not. I'm happy with many things in my life, but overall can't help feeling a bit dissatisfied with how my life has turned out. I'm working to change it though Maybe I need to find a way of tracking this so I feel I'm getting somewhere? Hmmm....