Hubby leaving, What should i pay for???

daska

TBH I think you have been quite fair to him. He's not walking away with nothing, you've made sure he has a month's rent that he can use as a deposit, he can always sell the motorbike if he needs more. The kids are old enough to cope without someone at home every second of the day.

Has he actually found somewhere to rent and done his sums, he might find he doesn't have enough to indulge in the luxury of a games console, he might have to resort to borrowing books from the library for entertainment...

Mrs_Huggett

I would pay for some plastic surgery.....................after I'd ripped him a new one!!!!!! Keep the big telly love, and the stereo, after all your keeping the kids and 'kept' him long enough,:mad:

puppy999

I really cant beliv that your letting him take the TV and Hi-Fi sytem that should stay for the children WHY should you hav to go and buy new when he is the one leaving ????
I would pack his bags put them on the front door change the locks and then tx him tell to pick his stuff up and find some were else to stay ............ AT the end of the day he said that he does not love you and he is leaving xx

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I would suggest he finds himself a new Mummy to buy him toys, as he doesn't qualify for pocket money anymore.


Patronising? Absolutely. But it sounds pretty accurate to me.

claire16c

I cant believe hes bought a playstation when he has no job or flat or set up maintenance payments to your kids? AND then asks you to pay half? Wow. Sounds like a teenage boy.

benb76

A lot of the replies fail to account for the fact that the OP is married to this waste of space. She has been the bread winner in the family, and I'm afraid to say that as the stay at home dad, he is entitled to maintenance of some sort to keep him in 'the lifestyle that he has become accustomed to'.In cases where a SAHM decides she no longer loves her husband, it is usually him that has to leave the house and find alternative accomodation. So it could be a lot worse for the OP.

daska

benb76 wrote: »

A lot of the replies fail to account for the fact that the OP is married to this waste of space. She has been the bread winner in the family, and I'm afraid to say that as the stay at home dad, he is entitled to maintenance of some sort to keep him in 'the lifestyle that he has become accustomed to'.In cases where a SAHM decides she no longer loves her husband, it is usually him that has to leave the house and find alternative accomodation. So it could be a lot worse for the OP.

Fair point but the house is rented, so there's no equity to consider and he'd have to request permission to take over the tenancy which he might not get without an income - one would hope that the ll would be agreeable but his mortgage company might not.

vickynleon

i would tell him where to stick his playstation to be honest, this guy doesnt act old enough to be a dad if all he's concerned about is a blooming playstation rather than making sure his kids are ok later in life, most dads if there were leaving would be heart broken at the though of being seperated from their kids not exited because they can have new toys. stand up for yourself and think of your kids, you sound like a really good mum and you and your kids deserve better.

SunnyCyprus

hi guys, had a busy couple of days at work and not had chance to pop back x

thanks for all your thoughts, pretty much what i expected, just needed to be told i guess.

with regards to Benb76, yes, i can see your point, a wife who was 'kept' by a husband would demand or want some form of maintenance to retain their standard of living. he hasnt asked for that, but then, taking a good amount of the assets we own, (....cash, 2x computers, printer, good camera, classic motorbike, car, .....) and being a single man who is capable of taking work with any sort of hours is enough to keep him comfortable for a while.

i've had a few LBM's the last few days, reminded my self of what his character really is, he left us before a few years ago and we moved back to be with him, and has a grown-up son from previous...
when things get hard, or boring, he bolts. i get it now. although, after 14 years and 2 kiddies, still love him.

i'm not going to give him any cash for his games, i think the kids and i will be ok, just need to keep a close eye on our son, he has Asperger's. (actually, anyone out there with the same, please get in touch! i need a few pointers!!!)
x x x

fannyanna

benb76 wrote: »

A lot of the replies fail to account for the fact that the OP is married to this waste of space. She has been the bread winner in the family, and I'm afraid to say that as the stay at home dad, he is entitled to maintenance of some sort to keep him in 'the lifestyle that he has become accustomed to'.In cases where a SAHM decides she no longer loves her husband, it is usually him that has to leave the house and find alternative accomodation. So it could be a lot worse for the OP.

I agree with this sentiment 100% but in this case this man isn't going to continue being a stay at home parent by the sound of things so the above situation wouldn't be applicable.