Hubby leaving, What should i pay for???

SunnyCyprus

Hello everybody, i'm a newbie here, so be gentle!;)

first off, i have read so many of your posts in this corner of the forum, i feel like i know some of you already, and can't wait for your honest opinions!

the background: i am 33, married with DD 11, and DS 10. hubby has told me last week he wants to leave and doesnt love me anymore. we've been having problems for months, and some old history, (which i'd like to stay that way). i work 16+ hours a week, when my employer allows overtime, my hubby is a SAHD.
when i work, he does the hoovering/dishes/kitchen/bins, and i do all the rest, when i'm off for holiday or lack of hours at work, he pretty much downs tools, and has a nice relaxing time off. he gets up with the kids if he has to, otherwise has plenty of lie-ins.


so, we have started the process of separating. i have been sorting out all the bills, changing payments to my name, my bank account details, making sure that everything is ready to come out of my account to pay for the house (rented off private landlord)
today has been v. productive, thanks to MSE i saved £20 a year with my new phone/broadband contract ;-)

now we come to the title of the thread...
we had a small anount of cash savings, of which i have taken 60% and banked, and left him the rest in cash(enough for a months rent on a flat...).

i am giving him the lounge furniture, we are taking a car each, and he has a motorbike.
i am buying new lounge furniture for me and kids,and a smaller tv, he is having the 42" one, and the hi-fi system.
i havent asked for any money, apart from dividing the savings, fairly i think, considering i have 2 kiddies to feed.

hubby has bought himself a new PS3 ready for his new flat (which he hasnt found yet)......................... and says that he cant think of banks/money at the minute.

now he is asking me to pay for half of his new playstation. i told him i didnt have any cash on me, so i would pay it by bank transfer whilst he was out. i got halfway through setting up the payment, and something stopped me. probably my sanity???
honestly, i dont think i should be buying half of a playstation for him, he wants to leave, he should sort out his new life/home.
also, i feel peeved because he said he cant afford to pay any money into the kids savings, and has had it reduced to a fiver each per month, (ha! managed to think about that one, didnt he?...), but he can buy flipping games consoles!!!!!!!!!!

am i just being a bi##ch, or should i give half towards it?

please form an orderly queue to administer me with a damn good shake and probably a few slaps around the head!!!!!

thankyou!!! vent over!:A

DeeDee74

:eek::eek:why would he expect you 2 pay half?? i think he's got a cheek asking hbh. i deffo wouldn't he wants it he buy's it simple he's not your problem anymore don't fund his lifestyle .

thorsoak

He wants to leave .....let him pay for his toys!

Is he going to contribute towards the children's maintenance? You surely aren't going to fund him in the future, are you?????

Mojisola

It's unusual for the stay-at-home parent to leave when the relationship breaks up. Doesn't he realise that he could claim a lot of benefits and child support from you if he stayed in the house or isn't he interested in caring for the children?

[Deleted User]

Eh tell him to jog on - he's totally ripping it!

What a bloody cheek!

Dxxx

SunnyCyprus

right - thankyou. i think i needed to hear it out loud.

Mojisola - - i told him that the only way i would ever leave my children would be when i'm in a wooden box...i think he resents being at home. its just that i got a job quickly when we moved here, and he didnt/couldnt find work, then saw that he didnt need to... work/child tax credits, etc... iyswim. so i earn a bit, and sort the kids out with holiday club during school hols for 1/2 days a week so that he has time off.


think i will be very relieved when its all over, at least i won't be carrying another person around anymore....
xxx

neneromanova

Tell him you'll pay for half of a new playstation when he pays for half of your new whatever (and think of something expensive that you want )

lizzywig

And what else will he expect you to pay for once he has moved out?!! You need to draw the line somewhere. I wouldn't even pay half for my DH now and we're happily married!! I would tell him to buy one himself unless it was a birthday/christmas present. You're right....kids should come first.

barbiedoll

Er............no. You shouldn't feel that you have to pay towards his new toys. Before you know it, he'll be leaning on you to pay for his Sky subscription, his mobile phone package and petrol for his car when (if?) he comes to take the kids out.

He's getting quite a few goodies from your house,including a big telly, so I don't really think that he has any reason to complain. Tell him to get a job or get stuffed. Cheeky sod!

Dunroamin

If he has no income, what's he using to pay for a PS3 (or even half of one)?

Has he started to sign on yet and make a claim for LHA? If he's also under 35, he'll only be able to claim the rate for a room in shared accommodation, by the way.

loztredders

Who on earth would he ask you to pay half for a ps3! and more to the point...why on earth would you even consider it!!?? :eek:

I'd consider that extremely cheeky/wrong even if you both were still happily living together.