can my ex husband become my lodger and still keep his benefits

minime6

can my ex husband become my lodger and still keep his benefits
hi, i have been separated from my husband for 18months, i work full time and recieve child tax credits for two children.
my husband is an alcoholic and has mental health issues and also has skin cancer( he is currently recieving treatment for all ). He claims ESA for himself, due to not being able to work. He needs somewhere for him to live and for someone to help him with his medication & generally look after him as some days he is quite ill. If he was to move into my home as a lodger, not as a couple,would his benefits stop.
please advise.

paddedjohn

minime6 wrote: »

can my ex husband become my lodger and still keep his benefits
hi, i have been separated from my husband for 18months, i work full time and recieve child tax credits for two children.
my husband is an alcoholic and has mental health issues and also has skin cancer( he is currently recieving treatment for all ). He claims ESA for himself, due to not being able to work. He needs somewhere for him to live and for someone to help him with his medication & generally look after him as some days he is quite ill. If he was to move into my home as a lodger, not as a couple,would his benefits stop.
please advise.

are you still married?

iluvmarmite

My daughter separtated from her Husband and they have 3 kids, they rent a flat privately and his name only is on the tenancy agreement because he got the flat before they were together, he has been there for around 8 years.

When they separated he moved out but had no where to go so was sleeping on friends sofas or at his place of work, he then got nasty about things and told my daughter he wanted to move back into the flat, she was claiming benefits by then, she couldnt stop him as it was in his name, he moved into one of the bedrooms and my daughter and the kids had the rest of the flat, he brought all his own food, did his own cooking and washing ect and put £5 per week into the gas and electric meters, she told the DWP what was going on, as they do have some very nosey neighbours and didnt want to get reported for benefit fraud.

The DWP told her there was nothing she could do, she couldnt force him out and he couldnt force her out and they will class him as being an independant adult living in the house, her benefits didnt stop and there has been no trouble over it, well actually HB stopped as he is paying all the rent.

I dont know if areas differ but hopefully your ex will be ok living in your home as he is there purely to be looked after and it shouldnt affect his benefits at all, but I think the only people who can really tell you is the DWP

karenx

The problem is trying to convince benefits you arent a couple

BigAunty

If he has care or mobility needs that have lasted at least 3 months and are set to last more than 6 months more, he may qualify for Disability Living Allowance - see the Direct Gov website for information.

Perhaps an organisation like McMillans could help him with the paperwork or accommodation issues. At a certain awarded rate of DLA, the claimant is entitled to have a carer, paid carers allowance, they don't have to be related or live in the same place. Again, see the Direct Gov website about this.

Many local councils operate rent deposit guarantee schemes for those on low income that may help him find a place of his own (if over 35) or a bedsit/room in shared property (if under 35). Look at the local council website to find out about the Local Housing Allowance they offer and if they have a deposit scheme.

If he is homeless (defined as having no security of tenure past the next 28 days, doesn't mean that they have to be sleeping on the street, could be sofa surfing), then look at the information on the Shelter website about applying to the local council. He may be considered a higher priority because of his illness.

Have you thought about the impact of having an alcoholic in the same property? Are you getting any support yourself about his drinking problem as there are support organisation for those affected, not just the alcoholics. I speak as someone whose family is plagued by 3 generations of alcoholism who has seen how their chaotic behaviour affects those around them. Its led me to believe that I could never live with an alcoholic, I don't mean that to sound hard, but I just don't think I could cope with what they bring into the household.

Mara69

Regardless of the DWP's take on this - do you really think it is a great idea to have an alcoholic with mental health problems living with you and your children?

geri1965_2

Mara69 wrote: »

Regardless of the DWP's take on this - do you really think it is a great idea to have an alcoholic with mental health problems living with you and your children?

Is there any suggestion that he would be a danger to their children?

iluvmarmite

Mara69 wrote: »

Regardless of the DWP's take on this - do you really think it is a great idea to have an alcoholic with mental health problems living with you and your children?

Just because someone has an alcohol and mental health problem does not mean they are a danger to children, they are his own children and Im sure if their mother thought they would be in any danger she would not have him in the house. He also has skin cancer so she is trying to do the best thing by him and look after him

Mojisola

geri1965 wrote: »

Is there any suggestion that he would be a danger to their children?

Someone can create a lot of stress and upset in a household without being a danger to children.

I do think it's important to consider how his presence with affect the children. It could be beneficial because they will have Dad around or it could be hellish if he is regularly getting drunk.

BigAunty

I'm with Mojisola on this based on my observations of family dynamics when an alcoholic resides with them. There is no suggestion on my part that there is automatically any kind of abuse or neglect present towards their children who remain loved and cared for by the affected person but there can be a desperately unpleasant environment. In my family's situation it would involve arguments, lying, stealing, debt, homelessness and crime that the alcoholism promotes - all the while the kids remained fed and clothed and, to be honest, fairly ashamed of their parents behaviour.

But every household will be different, some cope better. I agree that alcoholism and mental illness doesn't mean someone is a danger to their family.

Mara69

geri1965 wrote: »

Is there any suggestion that he would be a danger to their children?

Not from me, no.

iluvmarmite wrote: »

Just because someone has an alcohol and mental health problem does not mean they are a danger to children, they are his own children and Im sure if their mother thought they would be in any danger she would not have him in the house. He also has skin cancer so she is trying to do the best thing by him and look after him

I did not suggest that he would be a danger. However, living with an alcoholic can be very difficult. The very nature of their addiction means that they often steal things to sell to buy alcohol. They can be aggressive, depressive, unkind, rude, maudlin, loud, thoughtless and inconsiderate when drunk. The behaviour of a drunk can be extremely disturbing to witness. Add mental health problems to this and you certainly don't have an ideal home life for children.

I am sure the OP is flushed with altruism towards her ex - I just wonder if she might be better off putting her children first.