Stopping son from borrowing money

Edwardia

I'd be worried that any bad credit record he was building up would be linked to me and tell him to stop it or get out.

Tixy

Edwardia wrote: »

I'd be worried that any bad credit record he was building up would be linked to me and tell him to stop it or get out.

It won't be linked to the parent. The only way a financial association is created is if 2 people have any joint credit accounts (which the parent would be aware of as they'd need to sign to open them) or if any joint credit applications had been made.

Just living at the same address as someone does not affect your credit file, even being married to someone doesn't mean your affected by their file unless you have or have had joint accounts.

whatmichaelsays

WhiteHorse wrote: »

And what sort of message is 'you can do what you want regardless of the consequences for other people' ?

What are the consequences for other people? This is an issue that affects the borrower and the lender - nobody else. There are no consequences for the OP as the loan has nothing to do her.

Infoseeking

whatmichaelsays wrote: »

What are the consequences for other people? This is an issue that affects the borrower and the lender - nobody else. There are no consequences for the OP as the loan has nothing to do her.

Hi this isn't quite the case. As he lives in my home there are potential consequences in terms of people coming to the house to collect their dates. The stress caused by this and constant letters from people trying to collect their debts impacts on everyone in the house.

Infoseeking

Tremour-88 wrote: »

You can't stop him applying for credit, nor would any lender listen to you since it is between your son and the company ONLY.

Soon enough he'll destroy his history so much no one would ever accept him for credit, do not worry though, theres no comeback to you or your home so it will only effect him.

Thank you. He is already been stopped for some things because of his credit rating but it seems payday companies don't check credit ratings.

Infoseeking

DCFC79 wrote: »

You say he has no means, is this because he has no job or because he doesn't earn enough ?

Definitely talk to him, its your house so he has to abide by your rules or you throw him out.

He has left his job. Yes I agree, my house my rules, I have tried to set boundaries but it's a constant battle and impossible if he refuses to comply.

Infoseeking

headachesrus wrote: »

Its down to the relationship you have with your son I suppose. My children are 18 and 19 and know that whilst they are under my roof in no way are they to apply for credit. If they need to borrow, they can discuss it with us, and if necessary, they can borrow from us, and pay us back, or more often than not, we can persuade them they really don't need whatever it is they want.

I so so so wish my parents had been this firm with me when I was their age.

Of course, they can just go and apply, and ignore what we have to say on the matter, but we are fortunate that they respect us enough to still live by our rules.

My son has never caused me any trouble until a year ago. I try to be firm but nothing is working at the moment. I am a single parent and have been for 8 years with very little help from his father. I don't know how to make an adult child take some responsibility.

Infoseeking

Itismehonest wrote: »

I have to ask this .......
Do you know what the money is spent on?
I can think of many reasons but most are not good.
You can't stop him doing anything because he's an adult but, if you know why he thinks he needs the money, there may be things which you could do to help turn things around.

Yes gambling, he realises he has a problem but still thinks it can sort out his money problems. Unfortunately he won three thousand pounds recently which he funded with a payday loan thus making him think it is ok to do it.

Infoseeking

whatmichaelsays wrote: »

Ultimately, I don't think it is a parent's place to say what their sons / daughters do when they reach adulthood. Advise? Absolutely, but to 'enforce'? No.

Your son is an adult and he should be free to make adult decisions by himself - and deal with the consequences if those decisions are the wrong ones. All you can and should do is provide guidance to allow him to make an informed decision - but the decision is ultimately his.

I do agree with you but this is more difficult than it seems when he lives in my house and is increasingly dependent on me because of the way in which he is screwing himself up financially.

Infoseeking

RuthnJasper wrote: »

I think the only way you could act for a person over 18 would be if they were unable (though illness/disability/infirmity) to make these decisions for themselves and you went to court and got Power of Attorney to act on their behalf.

Bad luck, OP - I can understand how frustrated and helpless you must feel - but there is plenty of good advice on here, as suggested, from those who are already at various stages in the Payday Loan "trap". I also echo the poster who was concerned about what the lad is spending/intends to spend his loan money on - if it's nights out on the lash with his mates, then he's going to come unstuck particularly quickly, I'm afraid.

Perhaps you could make an appointment for him at the Citizens' Advice Bureau with a financial advisor and accompany him...?

Best wishes to you anyway. x

Thanks, that's very kind of you. Unfortunately my son is not in a place to listen to any advice at the moment. I vie between leaving him to reach rock bottom and encouraging/making him seek help....unfortunately though I have discovered that the latter only works in the short term.