DFW but my house is a bloody mess and getting me down :-(

tootoo

Some suggestions: -

Living room
Sofas have holes and stains in them which just won't shift. The cushions are absolutely flattened and awful - Throws as others have suggested, they can often be picked up cheaply and would lift the room

We have curtains but no blinds which I hate Freecycle or charity shop?

Our shelfs/display unit are falling apart - bursting at the seams with unsorted paperwork, clutter and junk on the shelfs and a ridiculous collection of OHs CDs which he refuses to get rid of Would you just sell these without his permission if he never listens to or looks at? Barely any of them are even in the right cases. He'll get over it eventually right?Box up all his CD's and ask him to find somewhere to put them? pile all the paperwork to go through one evening when little one is in bed and you're watch the TV, anything you don't use - charity or bin!

Our rug has a stain on it which again I have tried every product on the market for - only solution is a new rugThrow the rug and go without. Keep an eye out on freecycle/charity shops?


Kitchen -

The oven is broken so I only have the tiny little grill part and have to use the slow cooker (which I don't have time for most mornings)Could you start a little savings pot to save towards a new one? It might take a while, but at least its a start. Also, free cycle?

My daughters highchair is grubby and way past it's best, we were given it second hand. The covers have even been through the washing machine and frame even hosed down but it's disgusting. Only solution is a new highchair.Do you have an ikea near you? We don't but a friend who does has a highchair from there that was less than £10? Also, free cycle or keep an eye out on ebay for a local one cheaply?

My OH has a huge empty fish tank sitting on my kitchen table (bigger than the kitchen table actually) we don't have the money to buy any fish or equipment for it. I am thinking of putting my foot down and telling him to swap it for a small one that can fit in our living room. But I don't know if that's unreasonable as it's always been his little dream hobby ask about swapping or sell!

Kitchen -

The lino is marked/stained and won't scrub off some flooring places offer offcuts which can sometimes be big enough?

I can never seem to get on top of the dishes and the washing pile is breeding and growing. I use cloth nappies but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep the washing pile under control. It now covers the fish tank, the tumble dryer, the kitchen unit and the floors. I do manage to disinfect/clean it everyday so it's not as bad as it sounds - it's hygienic (no food etc. around) but just messy!try to get into the habit of washing the dishes after dinner and putting away. I do this every night now and its lovely coming down in the morning to a clear kitchen!! Washing, I try to do a load a day.

There is clutter in all the cupboards and on top of them, pots, pans, plates, cutlery etc. are all a mess and muddledOne cupboard shelf at a time!

I haven't properly cleaned the oven or fridge since we moved in here a year ago. The oven glass even has grease marks on it but I need to get a screwdriver to get into it. The food cupboards need everything taken out, scrubbed and put back in tidily One shelf at a time in the fridge, the oven will probably take a while, maybe have a look for a good OS cleaning method to make things easier?

We have no blind up in the kitchen as we couldn't afford one when we moved in and then never got round to it

Hallway - isn't decorated. Currently it has luminous yellow skirting boards and no wallpaper.Put an ad on free cycle, I know we have lots of tins of paint in the shed that aren't needed (we need a skip to declutter that area!!)

Hallway has an old cut off freyed carpet with a huge join in the middle as we couldn't afford to carpet it.Off cut from flooring place?

Bathroom - isn't decorated, has no blind up again (frosted window). we have no nice accessories etc. to make it welcoming, clean and homely looking. It also needs a good clean (again it's hygienic, I'm not a pig - the toilet, sink and bath are bleached and rinsed every now and then haha)Cheap candle at night time and as long as its clean it doesn't matter!

Bedroom - curtains but no blind, outside light disturbs my sleep every night! No matching bedsheets to the decoration. No furniture - we have a walk in wardrobe which isn't big enough for two of us, an old nursery wardrobe which has no fronts to the drawers left and is marked and bashed. It needs the bin. Everything else has no place so is under the bed in boxes etc. Clothes barely put away as there is nowhere for them!Could you line your curtains with a cheap piece of fabric to help keep the light out?

Daughter's room - perfect, the only one I had the motivation to finish :-) the curtain finials have fallen off though and the wall needs plaster where they were up and they need replaced.Polyfiller!

Cupboards are full of junk. Baby things that my sister needs back (she's due before me) but won't fit in my car! And other junk of my OH's.Could you box the bits for you sister and ask her to collect? One cupboard shelf at a time!

I don't have a babysitter EVER as my Mum works full-time hours around mine and looks after my LO from Weds-Fri while I work. I don't have anyone else. I will start maternity leave beginning June and LO will still go to Mums one day a week which should give me time to get things done.

What I really need is a travel cot/playpen I can leave her in the living room but I can't afford one! I've asked around and put notices up for a free or cheap one and online but so far have nothing!Freecycle or keep an eye out for a bargain on ebay?

Oh, and as of this morning my hoover is knackered. We have replaced a couple of parts and parts of it are now held together with cable ties courtesy of my OH, it's now completely not picking up - OH can probably do something to it tonight but it really is on it's last legs.Freecycle? Where abouts are you? I imagine you are nowhere near me, but if you were you could have my spare hoover!!

valk_scot

I'm a dreadful house keeper so don't ask me for cleaning tips. However...it might be worth starting to work now on your DD's sleeping habits and waking at the slightest noise. She won't have the luxury of total silence to sleep in when her sibling arrives after all. The more noise she hears now, the more used she'll get to it and the more likely she'll settle to the new baby and its noise, yes? And it would help you to catch up with chores too.

I found having a very low, soothing music CD playing in my children's room helped mask noise outside the door, plus having your own TV or radio on at a mutter down the hall. Try telling her you'll be cleaning and not to worry about little bumps and nises and if she does wake up frightened stick to just popping your head round the door and saying "Don't worry, Mummy is just cleaning, go back to sleep". Worked for me anyway! TBH though apart ftrom hoovering most cleaning isn't that noisy so you should be able to mask it with a radio on.

We also used to have a portable baby gate that I would put across a door if I didn't want a child in that particular room. By my third child (a fiddle fingered girl demon of curiosity) I had a kitchen gate, a gate to the stairs, a gate on the elder kids bedroom, a gate to the study and my portable gate, lol! Freecycle can be a good source of these also, or at least save up for one you can move around. I had the hall, her bedroom and the lounge totally babyproofed and she could rampage around there while I did speed chores. Fifteen months is a hard age, I agree, they're mobile, dexterous and can climb, but have no sense whatsoever.

As to the rest, I think an empty fish tank, presumably made of glass, is a bad item to have round kids anyway from a safety point of view. And it will be even worse when it's full of water (drowning hazard for toddlers ) and fish (endlessly fascinating.) Can you not store it somewhere until the kids are older?

And it sounds as if you need drawer and cupboard child locks, pronto. Ikea are a great source of these or you can improvise...I had a tie of washing line keeping the fridge shut for several years, for example!

Other suggestion is at weekends, one of you takes LO out for the morning and the other one hits the chores at full speed. Hubby could tackle the bigger heavy chores one morning and you could do the lighter stuff the other.

cyclingyorkie

Hugs to you! Some great advice already offered!

You mention depression after your first birth - your GP/Midwife/Consultant does know that you are struggling now DON'T they?

If not - you must tell them...

snowleopard61

You really do have my sympathy, as you're caught on every side - you've got a toddler, you're pregnant, you're working, all your babysitting goodwill is already used up for childcare while you're working, and you're really strapped for cash as well. (And getting over PND too.) My two are similarly close together and I remember so clearly being pregnant with child no. 2 (now aged 19!) and needing so badly to sort out stuff for the new baby, but being completely paralysed by the fact that I needed to do so in the bedroom of no. 1, which was impossible either when she was awake or when she was asleep, for exactly the same reasons as your little girl!

People have given some really good ideas. I'd second the idea of getting a cheap booster seat to attach to a chair so you can get rid of the high chair ( it'll be a while before you need another one!). This will also avoid any problems with no. 1 feeling she's had to pass on her belongings to the baby later on. If, like my children, you think yours wouldn't sit at the table if she could physically get up, you should be able to attach a shoulder harness to the chair (this is what I did).

I'd definitely use anything, even an old plain quilt cover or sheet, to cover the sofas. I know it's a nuisance with a small child because they won't sit still and keep messing it up, but it'll still be easier on the eye than the sofa itself.

Could you persuade your OH to take your toddler to the park or to visit friends and family for a few hours to give you some space to get on with at least some of the things you want to do?

You could possibly try getting your toddler used to having some sort of background noise e.g. music or even Radio 4 or something, when she's falling asleep, so that any noise you make is not as obvious as it would be against complete silence. My second one used to find noises like the cooker hood or hairdryer sent her to sleep (this was when she was a small baby rather than a toddler though) and I resorted to recording the hairdryer on tape to avoid wearing it out!

Good luck and just don't beat yourself up; you've got a lot on your plate!

daska

Q. "How do you eat an elephant?"
A. "One mouthful at a time."

Really, truly, it's the only way to do it, even if you can rope in someone to help. Start by clearing the clutter into boxes as suggested earlier. That in itself will help you feel better. With the cupboards/drawers why not empty one before littley goes down for her nap - always quieter to put away. Second Hand/Charity shops and Freegle/Freecycle are a great way of sourcing odd bits of furniture, net curtains, accessories - and be inventive, I have an old planter for toothbrushes and a saucer for soap, but they look good because fit with the rather abysmal colour scheme/pattern in our rented bathroom.

And you could suggest to your OH that in the absence of fish you plan to use the tank as a playpen. (I'm only half joking, they are quite tough, they have to be to keep the weight of the water in.) It's harsh but, while he may want fish, he has a child and another on the way - his priorities need to change until he has the luxury of a higher income.

kittywight

hugs hunny, i completely understand where your coming from

why not join the messies thread, https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3164594 ive been on there a while now and everyone is super supportive

hugs for you xx

bupster

Just one final thing - an awful lot of the stuff you've mentioned simply doesn't matter. I know it gets you down, but it's really not important in the greater scheme of things. Why don't you use one of the frustrating times when you can't get anything done to write things down in a list of priority? Stains and curtains and rugs don't matter. Washing might. Feeding you all does. Then, as other posters have said, just do a little at a time - and put a tick on your list to show you've done something, which will make you feel more in control of the world. But ultimately, with two kids in the house and not much money, you're going to have to live with things being scruffy - so why not try to accept those limitations and focus on the things you can help?

I hope things start feeling better soon xx

Alison_Funnell

Huge great hugs. xxx

What part of the world are you in? People may know of things in a specific area. xx

HelenYorkshire

Alison_Funnell wrote: »

Huge great hugs. xxx

What part of the world are you in? People may know of things in a specific area. xx

I was going to ask this

carefullycautious

less is more. Get rid of stuff you dont need.