Would my future husband be entitled to half my house?

yvonne13_2

OP, it's good that you are thinking of the negative and positive of your long term relationship but ask yourself this:

A) What happened for your partner to suddenly become religious?

He has never paid anything 50/50? So will you put up with this when you get married?

C) Did he actually ask you to get married or is it you wanting to do it to keep him?

D) If you got pregnant and he had to pay everything himself could you sleep easy at night and not worry about losing your house ect?

At the end of the day it's down to you what you decided to do, but I personally would not be getting married to a man I have been having a relationship with for 12 years and the only time marriage is brought up is to benefit his religious beliefs.

January20

meritaten wrote: »

January - No I dont only read happy threads - I have read many threads where a female has contributed to a marraige and walked away with nothing by financial shenanigans by her OH.
and in those cases the posters on here are up in arms and shouting 'what happened to SHARING and quoting 'for richer or poorer'.
Turn this thread around and if a male was posting I think the advice would have been rather different!
But then - its very very rare to see a male posting this way.

Sadly, I have to agree with you!

My view of marriage is pretty much what is said in the post written by Foreign Correspondent: it's not use using the vow that people say in church because they were written a long time ago and in (and for) a very different society.

I don't believe in marriage until "death do us part" because our lives are so much longer now. I would have had the same opinion had the OP been male.Loving a person doesn't meant that you should take a risk of being fooled. You never now the depth (or lack of depth) of feelings of your partner.

burnoutbabe

agreed, you can know you love them but how do you know 100% they will always love you.

I'd go into any marriage with a fully paid off flat. should someone else be entitled to half of that (and there would be no contribution of them to any mortgage)? as neither of us would have mortgage costs we can both save so would gain equally during the marriage, but the existing flat would really be 100% mine. I'd like to protect that. And we could buy somewhere together 50/50 to be ours.

I'd hope the law could be fair when its 2 mature adults, both fully capable of earning and paying their own way. But hope as well I never have to find out if it is or not.

Lara44

Dear Panda

This thread has really taken on a life of its own! Some posters have suggested not getting married and getting a deed of trust to protect your deposit.

If you're not too keen on getting married but want to honour your partner's religion - could you think about having a religious blessing for your relationship? You could have the ceremony, where you make a spiritual and public commitment to each other but are not tied to the legalese?

tincat

I don't think what the OP wants to do is wrong at all and I don't think it shows less of a commitment to her partner. I'm very interested in how this turns out, as I'm in a similar situation but reversed.

My OH and I are going to get married soon, and have been living together for a few months. He wants his flat, for which he has just paid his mortgage off, to be ringfenced, and then everything else (salaries, savings and pensions etc) would be communal and shared.

I've got to find my own solicitor - have contacted a couple today - to go over the agreement and point out all the legalese so that I know all the ins and outs of signing.

I have been married before, (he hasn't) and know that with the best will in the world and all the best intentions, sometimes life doesn't turn out how you hope it will. I don't take it as a slight that he wants to do this and quite happy about it, because it removes the suggestion that I'm a gold digger.

Putting myself into OP's shoes, I think that by having an agreement in place beforehand will make her feel that he wants to marry her for herself, not for any financial benefit he may get.