"poverty mentality"

katholicos

JackieO wrote: »

I hope that they will grow up to be sensible young men who don't get into debt, yet can enjoy the things in life that don't cost a lot.Not a bad legacy to give them

Not a bad legacy at all. In fact, it is positively priceless

...and belated birthday greetings to you!

Mistral001

sparrer wrote: »

Haven't read through all the posts, but I scrimp so I can enjoy myself. I make a teabag do 2 or more cups of tea (don't like it too dark anyway), dilute whole milk (any idiot can buy ss but what a waste!), I go straight to rtc section when I'm in a supermarket (and eat extremely well!), I wear two pairs of jimmies, bedsox and a fleece cardi in bed rather than have the heating on (and am always so toastie warm I don't want to get up in the morning), etc etc. A normal day in my home and the way I live would make some people's hair curl! However...

I never, ever scrimp when I have visitors, they have the best of everything home made, from table cloth to food, from the beautiful guest bedroom I spent ages doing up on a budget to trips out wherever they want to go. Last year I went to India, and on a cruise, this year I'm taking DGD2 to Italy for Easter and the Edinburgh Tattoo in August, and have friends visiting through the year. And that's only what I have planned so far, which doesn't sound like a poverty mentality to me. Unless I'm missing the point.

I was brought up to put guests first as is the custom and I hope I do it, but sometimes I worry that my "poverty mentally" comes across sometimes and has a very negative influence on others and perhaps makes their visit not as good an experience as I had hoped.

I think you need to think of what your guests will like and that is often popular things and things that you might think of as expensive. You just cannot assume that everybody will like your stew that you think is really tasty and nutrious and costs you 30p a serving to make.

snowleopard61

I really do try to be generous, as far as possible; to my young adult children with birthday/Christmas presents, to people I invite to my house, and in particular not to let my generally very constrained budget affect things like monthly charity contributions I've undertaken. It does feel sometimes as if it leaves me with next to nothing for all but the bare essentials though.

lostinrates

Byatt wrote: »

Oh dear, I'm one of those idiots. Just recently from reading on here found out about diluting milk, sad to say it never occurred to me before. And I always bought skimmed too...:o

An inspirational post though, and puts a whole new slant on things for me. :T

I use skimmed milk. The calcium is the same in both, but watered down whole milk has less. Many of us don't do enough for bone health, having undiluted milk is a nod in that direction. Personally i would not water down milk. I guess it depends how close to the bone you are and how much milk you drink. I don't get through a pint a day, reducing that further with water seems a poor direction for my health!

sparrer

Byatt wrote: »

Oh dear, I'm one of those idiots. Just recently from reading on here found out about diluting milk, sad to say it never occurred to me before. And I always bought skimmed too...:o

An inspirational post though, and puts a whole new slant on things for me. :T

oops sorry Byatt, that did sound rather rude. It's just something I learned from MSE and it works for me - not my guests though, I hasten to add, they get the real McCoy!

Byatt

sparrer wrote: »

oops sorry Byatt, that did sound rather rude. It's just something I learned from MSE and it works for me - not my guests though, I hasten to add, they get the real McCoy!

No offence taken.

lostinrates, very good point; hadn't thought of that either, so will weigh it up.
I don't drink a lot of milk, but thought it was a good way of saving a pint.

Haven't read all the replies regarding poverty mentality, but for me, having been "comfortable" to losing everything as a result of divorce, it has taken a while to accept that I am no longer "comfortable" and need ot accept that. Mostly it has been because I don't want people to worry about me or feel sorry for me, but my mindset has changed a lot now and actually see it as a challenge and nothing to be ashamed of. Love all the tips and ideas and the posts that have enabled me to see that being careful can be used for the bigger picture and that if I want to travel or have a treat, then making the effort to control my spending and cuttings costs is beneficial to me. Being in control is also so much better.

My parents were poor; I was brought up wearing secondhand clothes and holidays were what other people had. I was determined to only buy new when I "grew up" and no child of mine was going to wear second hand. I have now done a complete u-turn and will buy secondhand if cheaper and better quality than if bought new. I got a lovely sofa second hand that I could never have afforded brand new and really chuffed with it. I love looking around the recycling centre and again have got things I couldn't afford new.

I wish I'd felt this way before the divorce. Athough I "know" the reason why, I just think how stupid was I?!

Anyway, rambling again, so not even sure I'm contributing to the original post!

ragz_2

I wonder if I have the same mentality when it comes to food... when I was a child we were poor and lived in the middle of nowhere, while we never actually went really hungry we did have days where there was very little food left - now if there's food around I feel I MUST eat it, in case there isn't any tomorrow... or maybe I'm just greedy...

I am still struggling with the poverty mentality in general. Discovered yesterday that both sons need new school shoes. I have never been to Clarks and bought new as they are (to me) awfully expensive (now if they would last 2 years and not be grown out of in 6 months it would be different) though I have bought their shoes on ebay second hand. I can this month actually afford to buy them new, it is just not something I can bring myself to do when I know I can get a cheap pair for £15 or a decent second hand pair for less than a tenner.
I must be a really bad mother....
Can someone please give me a virtual slap?!

sparrer

Mistral001 wrote: »

I was brought up to put guests first as is the custom and I hope I do it, but sometimes I worry that my "poverty mentally" comes across sometimes and has a very negative influence on others and perhaps makes their visit not as good an experience as I had hoped.

I think you need to think of what your guests will like and that is often popular things and things that you might think of as expensive. You just cannot assume that everybody will like your stew that you think is really tasty and nutrious and costs you 30p a serving to make.

Mistra I don't think I've ever served stew to guests, to me it's a leftovers meal for myself, though I have served cassoulet, ragout, goulash and so forth. Fortunately my friends keep coming back so don't think I can have offended with my ways (which most of them follow anyway) - yet!

lostinrates I drink about 4 pints of milk ever couple of days. As you say, if people don't do enough for bone health, in many different forms, it is going to be detrimental, however it's a personal choice and I consider my own diet to be pretty well balanced overall.

snowleopard61

ragz wrote: »

I know I can get a cheap pair for £15 or a decent second hand pair for less than a tenner.
I must be a really bad mother....
Can someone please give me a virtual slap?!

I can relate to this. I remember dutifully dragging my children round town after getting them measured in Clark's and being unable to find anything in any of the expensive shoe shops that actually was exactly the 'correct' size, i.e. with width fittings etc.. It was with relief that I felt able to give up and just buy a standard size that seemed to fit OK, from a cheaper shop. I don't think I ever bothered to get them fitted again after that (they were quite big by then; upper end of primary/early secondary). My Mum took great care with my shoes and my feet are still horrendous now (hereditary apparently).:(

Byatt

ragz wrote: »

I wonder if I have the same mentality when it comes to food... when I was a child we were poor and lived in the middle of nowhere, while we never actually went really hungry we did have days where there was very little food left - now if there's food around I feel I MUST eat it, in case there isn't any tomorrow... or maybe I'm just greedy...

I am still struggling with the poverty mentality in general. Discovered yesterday that both sons need new school shoes. I have never been to Clarks and bought new as they are (to me) awfully expensive (now if they would last 2 years and not be grown out of in 6 months it would be different) though I have bought their shoes on ebay second hand. I can this month actually afford to buy them new, it is just not something I can bring myself to do when I know I can get a cheap pair for £15 or a decent second hand pair for less than a tenner.
I must be a really bad mother....
Can someone please give me a virtual slap?!

Are you saying you must really be a bad mother because of buying second hand or cheaper shoes? Well, for what it's worth IMHO you are definitely *not* a bad mum! I did the expensive best of the best shoes, but would do it differently now I have a changed mentality. As long as they fit and are comfortable they will be fine. I think there was a thread on here about the myths of buying secondhand. :A