What We Should Do...

floss2

bride2be2012 wrote: »

...Kilt hire/tartan - OH wants him and his best man in the same tartan, and everyone else in somthing different. Again, MIL2B (and others) keeps insisting everyone should be in the same.

She has obviosuly never been to a real Highland wedding then....everyone wears their own tartan and they are all different!

Hen Night - Doesn't matter what I say, they still insist on having to embarrass me - apparently, according to my bridesmaids, this is what a hen night is all about. They have been told however I WILL walk out if any strippers turn up, if there is any hint of willy straws or cakes (friend had these for her birthday and when my BM's found out they decided it'd be fab for the hen night :mad:) etc, I will not be amused. How hard is it to get through to them all I want is a meal out and some drinks?? :wall:

Why not have a sneaky spa break with a selected few, then have a meal out with everyone else?

I didn't want anything hen-night related...believe me, living in Blackpool I have seen more than enough for my lifetime. I got to wear a pink feather boa & fairy wings which I had to keep on for dinner in the really posh spa-hotel we'd gone to, and everyone in the restaurant smiled & clapped as we walked in!

Kal

This is precisely how I feel today! Have only been engaged 5 days and already have had an email from OH’s brother listing the term dates for his two daughter’s schools. With the obvious implication being that we must book the wedding within their holiday times (they live abroad) which really upset me as I had wanted an October wedding to coincide with the anniversary of our first date. And this would not suit them. Why should I be thinking of accommodating other people on my (our!) day? We had to go way out of our way for their weddings etc.

It’s never easy! You don’t marry the in-laws but in a way you do!

floss2

Kal wrote: »

This is precisely how I feel today! Have only been engaged 5 days and already have had an email from OH’s brother listing the term dates for his two daughter’s schools. With the obvious implication being that we must book the wedding within their holiday times (they live abroad) which really upset me as I had wanted an October wedding to coincide with the anniversary of our first date. And this would not suit them. Why should I be thinking of accommodating other people on my (our!) day? We had to go way out of our way for their weddings etc.

It’s never easy! You don’t marry the in-laws but in a way you do!

They probably think that they are being helpful by giving you these dates to help you set your date. Why not reply to his email saying something like:

"Thank you for sending the school term dates. We are thinking of the xxth of October as it has special significance to us. I do hope you will be able to join us but we will understand if it's not possible."

Then you are being polite and letting him know what YOUR plans are.

sugarwalsh

You should consider other people - within reason - as they are the people who have made you 'you'. They are part of your relationship whether you want them to be or not. If they can't make it on the day you want would it be more upsetting if they aren't there or if you get married on a different date? Also, there is usually a half term in October - you may be able to work around that?
MEgan

Kal

sugarwalsh wrote: »

Also, there is usually a half term in October - you may be able to work around that?
MEgan

Unfortunately the terms dates in their country are pretty different, for example, they finish school for Christmas on the 6th of December! OHs current thinking is that he would be happy if the Brothers could attend but would understand if children and sisters-in-law couldn't. Also because we sort of want to get married in the US so it would be very costly for a family of four to afford flights and accomodation.

My and OH have loads to decide about the whens and wheres but I just want some chill out time to enjoy being engaged before we get into serious planning!

becca0417

B2B2012 I know how you feel! As the week go by we get more 'can you invite so and so' (the latest being my brothers GFs parents who I have met once!) My excuse now is we have run out of invitations

mildred1978

One of the main reasons we chose our venue was due to it being laid out very well for disabled guests. OH has a (close) relative who is paraplegic so we wanted somewhere without steps, with wide doors etc. Said relative never even replied to the invitation!

wanchai_2

Kal wrote: »

This is precisely how I feel today! Have only been engaged 5 days and already have had an email from OH’s brother listing the term dates for his two daughter’s schools. With the obvious implication being that we must book the wedding within their holiday times (they live abroad) which really upset me as I had wanted an October wedding to coincide with the anniversary of our first date. And this would not suit them. Why should I be thinking of accommodating other people on my (our!) day? We had to go way out of our way for their weddings etc.

It’s never easy! You don’t marry the in-laws but in a way you do!

Nightmare!!!!

mildred1978 wrote: »

One of the main reasons we chose our venue was due to it being laid out very well for disabled guests. OH has a (close) relative who is paraplegic so we wanted somewhere without steps, with wide doors etc. Said relative never even replied to the invitation!

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:



Weddings. Are. A. Minefield.

bride2be2012

thanks everyone, it makes me feel slightly better to know I'm not alone lol (though obv feel sorry for everyone else that's getting grief too!)

Off to the future in-laws tomorrow, not looking forward to going - though at least OH and MIL2B are on speaking terms again now. I am taking down the flower girl dress for OH niece to try on, so can't wait to see her in that!

OH tells me most of the probs with MIL2B are probably because we live nearer my folks than his, and she'll be thinking that my folks are running around helping us with everything. Which, TBH, couldn't be further from the truth! My folks are very happy to give advice when we ask it, but are quite happy to let us get on with it!

Also, MIL2B has been to see the venue twice, which is twice more than my dad - despite the fact she lives 2 hours away, and my dad lives 5 minutes away from it, and has done for almost 30 years!!

CarolynRach

I think at the end of the day. It is YOU and YOUR H2B's day. Noone elses. Be accommodating to a point but don't do something you don't want to do, that's not fair.