What We Should Do...

sugarwalsh

My copeing stratergy is to not discuss things with people if it can be helped at all. Then there is no chance for people to give me 'advice' or pull funny faces or pretend to like something. It also means if I don't get the chance to put some of my ideas into practice then I wont have to explain about them too!
MEgan

sugarwalsh

Re hen night - yes, it will be a little embarassing, but I think the more you insist the more they will try ridicule you. Just smile and go along with it. Buy them all penis hats or something hideous as a surprise. I do think brides can get a little too hung up on not being humiliated - really, a few willy straws are hardly likely to ruin your life! Just be pleased they want to enjoy your night with you and stop stressing. Enjoy your time with them - I doubt they will arrange for a stripper to come, they are expensive for a start!
MEgan

joannaspanner

I had a very small wedding, not into all the big white 'thing' which none of my husbands sisters couldn't understand. I got a nice simple dress from Debenhams Debut for £90, they said a good dress costs 'thousands' ( er ok then!)

One of his sisters then fell out with me as I wouldn't invite her In Laws to the do in the evening!

Err why would I invite my Sister In Laws, In Laws who I met once for like 10 minutes?!?!?!

I just said to her its very simple, close family only, plus you're on your 4th marriage so I don't think you can tell me what to do lol

FunnySaving

You don't have to have a hen night - if their idea of a hen night doesn't tally with yours then just say you don't think you'll have time for one.

amonaghan

Do what YOU want to do, it is YOUR wedding not there's!

As for hen night, why not book it yourself and have what you want, they can go out and get drunk any time.

Choc-addict

Totally get where you are coming from B2B2012....I am getting married in less than 3 months and still having issues.....

I find it unbelievable how family/relatives act when you are engaged to be married....somehow it becomes all about them and what they want/expect and the bride and groom don't factor!

Sadly i've found out a lot since being engaged and I literally can not wait for out big day and most importantly marrying my lovely partner....but I can not wait to put all the lows and stresses of planning behind me! - this part I will not miss at all!

wanchai_2

It's your day OP, don't let anyone bully you into having it their way! They will have/have their own wedding where they can do everything their way!

sugarwalsh wrote: »

Re hen night - yes, it will be a little embarassing, but I think the more you insist the more they will try ridicule you. Just smile and go along with it. Buy them all penis hats or something hideous as a surprise. I do think brides can get a little too hung up on not being humiliated - really, a few willy straws are hardly likely to ruin your life! Just be pleased they want to enjoy your night with you and stop stressing. Enjoy your time with them - I doubt they will arrange for a stripper to come, they are expensive for a start!
MEgan

I have also vetoed a stripper - I loathe them. I'm not really into 'hen night' paraphernalia either. But I agree with Megan - a few willy straws or whatever are not the end of the world, I will go along with any general silliness.

I just didn't want a nightclubby type hen and that was the main thing. Mine is a night away with my best pals, we're staying in a nice place, having food, drinks and chats and laughs. I am really looking forward to it.

joannaspanner wrote: »

I had a very small wedding, not into all the big white 'thing' which none of my husbands sisters couldn't understand. I got a nice simple dress from Debenhams Debut for £90, they said a good dress costs 'thousands' ( er ok then!)

One of his sisters then fell out with me as I wouldn't invite her In Laws to the do in the evening!

Err why would I invite my Sister In Laws, In Laws who I met once for like 10 minutes?!?!?!

I just said to her its very simple, close family only, plus you're on your 4th marriage so I don't think you can tell me what to do lol

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Brightside

after 4 weddings she is obviously an expert........

My parents and step parents met future in laws at my 40th, it was also the first time dad met stepdad, and mum met stepmum so it was an interesting night, but it got it all over with before the wedding.

Em88

My parents have met MIL2B a few time during the last 9 and half years, but OH and I were 15 and 14 respectively when we got together and so there were various occasions where parents were dropping off/collecting. My parents still haven't met FIL2B and will do so the day before the wedding! I don't think it really matters if parents and in-laws know each other tbh.

As for people butting in I know exactly how you feel! We are having a very small wedding and everyone has told us how awful this is (except MIL2B who says do whatever we want as long as she is invited haha). You just have to ignore it if possible and do what you want.

NoAngel

I know how you feel about having people butting in. For the more 'minor' things i've just let others have their way (eg. bridesmaid dresses and what to do the night before the wedding). For the bigger things I've just done what I wanted anyway. Having said that, my save the date cards only very recently went out, so I'm completely expecting some comments along the lines of 'why isn't so and so's brother's cousin's dry cleaner invited?'

With regards to the parents meeting - we've been together for 10 years and out folks have met once when I invited them for my Dad's birthday party last year, as I thought it'd be nice for everyone to meet sometime before we got married. Otherwise they're very different kinds of people so don't tend to meet. They've no problem with each other though, just completely different interests!