Fallen in love with a school, no idea how to afford it

Ada_Doom

mygirllollypop wrote: »

I don't really see how you can compare Children to a Car? Although if you class private education as a Bently I am interested to know what you would class state education as?

There are no fees mentioned on the Schools website, No fees were mentioned during the walk round the school or the talks with the Director. It was just a surprise that was all. My private primary school was cheaper but I realise after talking to my parents this was because my Father was in the Air Force. I did think about joining the forces but the school doesn't offer Forces discounts.

I am a single parent, Sorry I didn't make that clear.

EDIT: I am going back next week to observe the children alone without my girls and will speak with the Director about fees etc.. My other option is moving my baby over to the nursery and claiming it against working tax credits when I get a job and sending my 4 year old for the first year and then moving her over to the coast school that opens in 2013 which is going to be a montosorri type school but not so pure.

You thought about joining the forces to get a discount at this nursery? If I have got that right, that is a bit crazy. I feel for you, you must be really desperate. I hope you find a solution that works for you, maybe long term moving to a different area.

duchy

Seanymph wrote: »

I am left wondering if the OP said 'I've fallen in love with a brand new land rover but I can't afford it, perhaps if I claimed mobility allowance I could' - would she get quite so much support.

If you can't afford something then generally you don't get to have it. That's the MSE way.

Really though it would be more like saying I've fallen in love with a LandRover and I wonder what the top up would be if I got one on the mobility scheme.

I do agree the OP is taking an over optimistic view at this point and needs to find a job with prospects before making decisions about the children's education long term. Especially as in most schools even in primary fees go up the older the kids get.

meer53

JodyBPM wrote: »

Reading between the lines (because you haven't expressly said it), it sounds as though you are single mum, currently surviving on benefits, possibly looking to work 16 hours a week in the future.

Honestly, the benefit system doesn't (or certainly shouldn't) pay sufficiently well for you to be able to privately educate two children.

Private education is a *very* expensive route, and the vast majority of comfortable middle income families cannot afford to educate their children privately. When considering private education, you need to look at long term financial planning, not scrabbling around and going without essentials to try a meet one year's school fees at a time.

It's admirable that you want the best for your daughters, but a more realistic approach might be to see what you can do for them outside of the private education system. For example broadening their horizons by spending time with them and doing fun "educational" type activities. For example bug hunting & nature walks, taking them to museums and displays and discussing what you've seen, simple science activities such as showing them how night and day works with a torch and an orange, collecting shells and looking up the different animals that live in them, themed play about historical events, themed days with food and activities from countries all around the world. All these things are cheap or free, and its regular stuff like this which will help them to understand the world around them and to develop an enquiring mind. I'm not suggesting hot housing them (I'm very against pushy parents who force their children to study religiously) but just spending quality time with them and taking the time to talk about the world around them.

Honestly, I think parental input contributes far more to a child's development than the best education that money can buy.

I agree.

YOU have fallen in love with a school. Your children may hate it. Both my kids went to the same Primary school, my son then passed the entrance exam for the local Grammar school and went there. He loved it. My daughter took the entrance exam but failed, i'm glad she did. She would have hated it there, she's completely different from my son, she would have really struggled.

IMO, most state primary schools provide more than adequate education for very young children. BUT, it has to be supplemented by parents who are willing to spend time with their kids, which it sounds to me as though you already do.

You have plenty of time to think about your choices for their schooling when they're older, i'd take away the stress when they're small, you sound as though you have enough on your plate as it is !

duchy

You're assuming you can get a place at the Coast school ? May be worth checking the criteria before basing any decision on that.............and what if your eldest loves the private school so much she doesn't want to move ?

I'm not saying you are wrong but you need to make sure you've covered all scenarios .

flikkerty

Can you home school? read up on montessori styles. Private education is fantastic but we struggle like hell to pay and sacrifice a lot

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

The Coast School isn't happening - at least yet. http://www.thisisgrimsby.co.uk/Couple-seek-support-free-school-project-hold/story-15108377-detail/story.html


And you've left enough information to identify where you are in your posts.

We know how old your kids are, that they are both girls, what you did for a living, and where you are - and a likely area you came from. Whoever you escaped from, there's enough there for them to work out what estate it is as well, especially as one in particular is right by the planned school you are talking about. I could even tell you the names of the two primary schools you didn't like the look of - SF Primary and FF Primary.





Be careful, very careful online.

And I will, of course, delete all mention of the area myself if you wish.

churchrat

Op, you have had so much to deal with over the last few months that its not surprising that you want only the best for your children. But it does not always follow that private education is the only way to ensure your children do well.

My children all went to state schools. There was a swimming pool, the boys took Latin and my dd ancient Greek. I have no idea why she did not do Latin, would have been far more useful. All are at/went to university. I have friends who have used the private education system and have taken their children out of the private sector and put them into the public sector. However, we have retained the grammar school system where we live.

If you want your children to do well then you have to work hard. I dont mean for money, I mean at the things parents should "do". Reading, playing, reading, talking, reading, visits, shopping and of course, reading. I was listening to the radio the other day, an article about the value of books in a home. The ex childrens laureate (forgotten the name) said that if a home has 500 books it amounts to having a university educated , pushy parent. The idea works if the parent is willing to spend time reading and exploring the world with the children.

You sound very committed to your children. dont beat your self up about the school you cannot afford. If you try and get so stressed that you do not have the time or energy for your children then you will find no benefit in sending them there, and they will hate it.

A loving home is far more important than a fee paying school, and it sounds as tho your dds have that.

jackyann

Do really ferret about behind the figures, visit the schools, talk to parents. I too have known schools that "massage" their figures in all sorts of ways.
I have worked with children & families (but not in education) in two of the most deprived areas of the country. I saw no pre-school / nursery or primary school that I wouldn't have been happy to put my own child in. And the only reason I would have been wary of the secondary was the sad attitude of the kids - the teachers were great and where they had motivated kids did very well by them.
But OP is talking about pre-school /nursery. Visit, look for yourself. Do not listen to gossip, but seek out people whose opinions you trust and have direct recent experience of the school.
My own kids all went to good universities - we didn't live in a deprived area, but I was used to hearing people say they "would never / couldn't possibly" send their kids to the "bog standard" schools mine were happy at!

Ada_Doom

I second what Church rat said, the most important factor to happy children is a committed grown-up in their lives and your girls definitely have that!

mygirllollypop

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I could even tell you the names of the two primary schools you didn't like the look of - SF Primary and FF Primary.

The Coast school is correct but all the other information about the area is wrong. The person already knows where I am but it's too far from where we were for any physical trouble now thank-god!

I have visited both the local schools, and I deal very closely with SureStart because of our circumstances, (who have been an absolute god-send!) I have visited 3 state schools that I liked and applied for them through the LEA applications and hope to get at least one of them but due to catchments I don't hold out much hope!

I've been mucking around with the kids today, painting pasta and the like and have decided that I will try to get them into a nicer state school via the appeals process or hopefully I can move before they are due to start in september if I can get a new job.

I think the Montosorri is amazing and everything but I want us to be able to buy a house in the future and to still have our little holidays and carry on the swimming and dance lessons. I am sure the girls will do fine and no doubt that with fun learning at home that if she wants too she would be able to get into grammer school at 11, but who knows what will have changed by then! 6 years is a really long time for me to be worrying about her secondary choices!

Thanks everyone, It's really hard to put things into perspective when there's so much guilt and were in a much worse area than before. Everything everyone says makes total sense, sometimes you need people to tell you you're being daft!

I just don't want to let my kids down.