Fallen in love with a school, no idea how to afford it

Callie22

FBaby wrote: »

You need to take into consideration the long term picture. What happens if circumstances change and you can't afford it any longer, but your kids have settled well, make close friends, and would be quite affected with having to change and go to a school where they could be quite vulnerable as not prepared to that environment?

That's definitely something to bear in mind. My brother and I went to a private prep school, but when my parents divorced the money was no longer there, and so we were pulled out. It was very difficult at the time, leaving a school 'under a cloud' so to speak, and it was very hard to have a big part of your life just closed off suddenly and not really understand why.

There was also the problem of fitting in at the local primary where the rest of the class had been together since the infants, and weren't very welcoming to outsiders from the 'snob school'. Not to mention that some of the teachers had their own issues with private schools, and that made them perhaps be less than kind to my brother and I. I coped fairly well, but it was very difficult for my dyslexic brother, who went from a very supportive environment to one that was much less so.

I would say that you should think very, very carefully before committing to a private education for your children, if there's even the slightest doubt that you'll be unable to commit to it for however long. Of course circumstances change and people do have to leave schools, but I wouldn't underestimate the problems it can cause for your children.

JC9297

Schools provide education not childcare, therefore you cannot claim tax credits to cover fees.
You don't say whether you are a single parent or not, if you have a partner any award is based on your joint income and hours of work (you will both need to be working).
I think you have been a little naive to not even find out what the fees are before looking at a school, what were you expecting them to be? £5500 is not particularly high for private schooling and if you cannot comfortably afford that I wouldn't even be considering it at the moment. I agree with the previous poster who compared it to looking at a bentley showroom and then being surprised at the cost.

pinkclouds

Seanymph wrote: »

If you can't afford something then generally you don't get to have it. That's the MSE way.

The MSE way *is* either afford it or do without it. However, I think that she hasn't fully explored her options and there is no harm in doing so. At the end of the day, if she cannot raise the fees by some legitimate means then, yes, she will have to forgo this luxury.

mygirllollypop

Thanks everyone for thier input, Luckily there is two very good grammer schools within the county which I am hoping my girls will get into for Secondary School, It sounds bizzare but we have only been here for 6 months, It was a rush move to get to safety I guess you could say!

Had it have been safe were we were before this would be a no issue they were at a fantastic nursery, and could get into lovely primary schools in the middle of the countryside.

Now we are on a massive council estate in the middle of an industrial town, with terrible schools and constant crime problems, I've already have my car broken into.

I am trying to find a house in a better area but it is proving very difficult, I haven't been in my property long enough to do a council exchange and people are trying to move out of here and not in!

I hope getting a new job will help enable me to get private rentals and move out of the town, and closer to some nicer primary schools. With the local schools no-one is prepared to help them parent wise and to be honest in the state they in with the millions the government throw at them I am not prepared to put my girls education on the line to try and improve it. Selfish, completly but how much other people here care about their offspring is not my concern (unless abuse etc..)

I stay at home suring the day with my two and we go to activies and I pay for them to go to a private nursery every week term time for about 20 hours to mix with others, but the nursery was 'best of a bad bunch' really, however they do mix with alot of different ethnicities,cultures & languages which is very good and they didnt get that experience where we were before.

My medium term goal is either go back into my old job within a different company as a Care-Coordinator and progress to Manager of the branch and potentially longer term upwards from that.

I am signed upto to study a business course at the local college starting soon and my hope with getting into Care as a Care Worker was that I would have experience of both sides of the job and could work towards gaining NVQ's along side my college course(s)

I need to have a really hard think about it, I don't want to be stressed and struggle to heat & eat out of school hours but I really don't want them to be stuck in some terrible school.

I am going to have a good look at my income currently and work out what I can do, If it comes to it I may have to look into private tutoring along side school and see if that works out cheaper.

emsywoo123

Private schooling is very expensive, and a long term commitment. DD is in year 4 and her fess are currently £12K a year, excluding uniform. (Not an insignificant sum to find as well!)

There is no way DS can go-I have looked at the figures every which way and it just cannot be done. While that saddens me, that is something that I will have to deal with. I certainly would not put him in and hope the money will just appear

Ada_Doom

I have to say I would never dream of going to look around some of the private schools in my area, because the truth is their facilities are amazing and I know it would make me feel unhappy that I cannot afford to send my kids there. Parents get very wound up about their children's education, becuase we love them and want the best for them. And a school that is basically a business, such as a fee paying school, know what parents want when it comes to education and gives it to them to ensure people keep paying.

However, children can flourish and thrive in the local primary, as my children do. Yes, it does not have a pool or teach latin but it is warm and friendly, the teachers are mainly focused on ensuring the children learn in a happy environment, and my kids get to go to school with others from their neighbourhood. And there is minimal keeping up with the Joneses.

Do you really want to have to work the long hours it would take to afford the fees when you could be spending the times talking, walking and playing with your children? It sound like a reciepe for a very stressed Mummy to me .

emsywoo123

Ada_Doom wrote: »

I have to say I would never dream of going to look around some of the private schools in my area, because the truth is their facilities are amazing and I know it would make me feel unhappy that I cannot afford to send my kids there. Parents get very wound up about their children's education, becuase we love them and want the best for them. And a school that is basically a business, such as a fee paying school, know what parents want when it comes to education and gives it to them to ensure people keep paying.

However, children can flourish and thrive in the local primary, as my children do. Yes, it does not have a pool or teach latin but it is warm and friendly, the teachers are mainly focused on ensuring the children learn in a happy environment, and my kids get to go to school with others from their neighbourhood. And there is minimal keeping up with the Joneses.

Do you really want to have to work the long hours it would take to afford the fees when you could be spending the times talking, walking and playing with your children? It sound like a reciepe for a very stressed Mummy to me .

Just a note, most, if not all private schools hold charitable status.

I shall not comment on the rest of your post :cool:

mygirllollypop

I don't really see how you can compare Children to a Car? Although if you class private education as a Bently I am interested to know what you would class state education as?

There are no fees mentioned on the Schools website, No fees were mentioned during the walk round the school or the talks with the Director. It was just a surprise that was all. My private primary school was cheaper but I realise after talking to my parents this was because my Father was in the Air Force. I did think about joining the forces but the school doesn't offer Forces discounts.

I am a single parent, Sorry I didn't make that clear.

EDIT: I am going back next week to observe the children alone without my girls and will speak with the Director about fees etc.. My other option is moving my baby over to the nursery and claiming it against working tax credits when I get a job and sending my 4 year old for the first year and then moving her over to the coast school that opens in 2013 which is going to be a montosorri type school but not so pure.

JodyBPM

mygirllollypop wrote: »

Thanks everyone for thier input, Luckily there is two very good grammer schools within the county which I am hoping my girls will get into for Secondary School, It sounds bizzare but we have only been here for 6 months, It was a rush move to get to safety I guess you could say!

Had it have been safe were we were before this would be a no issue they were at a fantastic nursery, and could get into lovely primary schools in the middle of the countryside.

Now we are on a massive council estate in the middle of an industrial town, with terrible schools and constant crime problems, I've already have my car broken into.

I am trying to find a house in a better area but it is proving very difficult, I haven't been in my property long enough to do a council exchange and people are trying to move out of here and not in!

I hope getting a new job will help enable me to get private rentals and move out of the town, and closer to some nicer primary schools. With the local schools no-one is prepared to help them parent wise and to be honest in the state they in with the millions the government throw at them I am not prepared to put my girls education on the line to try and improve it. Selfish, completly but how much other people here care about their offspring is not my concern (unless abuse etc..)

I stay at home suring the day with my two and we go to activies and I pay for them to go to a private nursery every week term time for about 20 hours to mix with others, but the nursery was 'best of a bad bunch' really, however they do mix with alot of different ethnicities,cultures & languages which is very good and they didnt get that experience where we were before.

My medium term goal is either go back into my old job within a different company as a Care-Coordinator and progress to Manager of the branch and potentially longer term upwards from that.

I am signed upto to study a business course at the local college starting soon and my hope with getting into Care as a Care Worker was that I would have experience of both sides of the job and could work towards gaining NVQ's along side my college course(s)

I need to have a really hard think about it, I don't want to be stressed and struggle to heat & eat out of school hours but I really don't want them to be stuck in some terrible school.

I am going to have a good look at my income currently and work out what I can do, If it comes to it I may have to look into private tutoring along side school and see if that works out cheaper.

Reading between the lines (because you haven't expressly said it), it sounds as though you are single mum, currently surviving on benefits, possibly looking to work 16 hours a week in the future.

Honestly, the benefit system doesn't (or certainly shouldn't) pay sufficiently well for you to be able to privately educate two children.

Private education is a *very* expensive route, and the vast majority of comfortable middle income families cannot afford to educate their children privately. When considering private education, you need to look at long term financial planning, not scrabbling around and going without essentials to try a meet one year's school fees at a time.

It's admirable that you want the best for your daughters, but a more realistic approach might be to see what you can do for them outside of the private education system. For example broadening their horizons by spending time with them and doing fun "educational" type activities. For example bug hunting & nature walks, taking them to museums and displays and discussing what you've seen, simple science activities such as showing them how night and day works with a torch and an orange, collecting shells and looking up the different animals that live in them, themed play about historical events, themed days with food and activities from countries all around the world. All these things are cheap or free, and its regular stuff like this which will help them to understand the world around them and to develop an enquiring mind. I'm not suggesting hot housing them (I'm very against pushy parents who force their children to study religiously) but just spending quality time with them and taking the time to talk about the world around them.

Honestly, I think parental input contributes far more to a child's development than the best education that money can buy.

Ada_Doom

Emseywoo, how does them holding charitable status not make them a business? They are given large amounts of money by parents, and then also subsidised by the government through tax breaks to the tune of £100 million. I know there charitable status depends on them offering bursiries and doing stuff in the community, but really.....
I don't want to turn OP's thread into a debate on private schooling, feel that we have very different opinions on it, also have flu and am not up for an argument (which normally I do enjoy!) .