Is it crazy to think about leaving kids to get a job?

want-it-all

leftieM wrote: »

I'm considering applying for jobs in GB but this would mean leaving my children with my husband for a month or more at a time. He would effectively be a single parent. I'm wondering if any women have done this? I know it's more 'normal' for men to do it - my own father did it - but I haven't heard of any mums doing it.

I retrained as a teacher nearly two years ago and, unfortunately, I have backed the wrong horse! There has been one job advertised in my subject since last summer and that was just a maternity cover post. I went for the interview yesterday, along with ten others, and didn't get the job. We are fighting for scraps over here in NI. There are very, very few jobs advertised.

I have been unemployed since Christmas and, although we can manage for a while, there is nothing left at the end of the month and we are eeking out a living on my husband's wage. We won't be able to pay for Christmas or any unplanned expenses on one wage. I don't get any money on JSA. I want to get experience teaching A-level and I may have a better chance getting a job in England (or maybe not!)

FWIW, Leftie, I don't think you sound unreasonable. You'd be 'leaving' your children in order to contribute towards your family's economic security...you wouldn't be 'abandoning' them.

Parents - men in particular - have been working away since the dawn of time, and lots of parents and children are temporarily separated on an amicable basis, for work, education, etc. Swathes of young families from 'new' EU states go through the same thing all the time. It doesn't make you any less of a parent.

The choice is yours, but don't get too wrapped up in guilt over this prospect.

Plus, as has been pointed out, flights between the mainland GB and Northern Ireland are plentiful, frequent and cheap.

emsywoo123

Ho hum, ready to put my neck on the block here and turn against the tide and all that, but there is not a job in the world that I would leave my children for.

Seriously. I know this is MSE. I know people need to earn a wage. I get that, and I really do not need a tirade of "you're wrong" posts.

Do as you choose OP, you seem to have plenty of support here. Would I do it? Not a hope in hell.

educator

If you're thinking of moving to England from NI, would it be worth also looking at international schools overseas? There are a number of good schools currently advertising September vacancies for Chemistry/Science teachers in this week's TES. In addition to your salary, many schools will also pay for accommodation/flights as well as free/subsidised places for your own children.

EconomicsGirl

I would have thought with a PhD in chemistry you would get a job relatively easily in England though the teaching market isn't as good as it was.

Personally I wouldn't be without my kids for any amount of money, I've recently started full-time from part-time school hours and even that increase in time from my children I find very hard and I miss them a lot and they miss me a lot. My little boy who is 5 is often in floods of tears about it and has started having nightmares which he's never had before and that makes me very sad. My daughter who is 6 can cope OK but says she'ld prefer I was part-time. Someone told me (who left their baby to go back to work at 1 month old) not to worry in a month they'll have forgotten you exist, which may be true to a certain extent but I don't want that for me or for them. I'ld find another way - either take your family with you (maybe after a trial period), look for a job in another field (the jobs market isn't great I know) or reduce costs (move in with family or cut out anything non-essential). At the end of the day though only you and your family can decide what is best for you and some people like having independent children and if you and your family could cope with it and your husband's not the type to have affairs then it could work. I think its good you are looking at all options and I don't think you should feel guilty as you are trying to do the best for your family but you may find it really hard emotionally being away. On the other hand it wouldn't be much different to having a child at boarding school but I know a Mum who did that and their child came home and said this isn't my home now. Maybe you could try being away for a while to see how you cope though the first bit is always the hardest. Good luck in whatever you decide.

want-it-all

EconomicsGirl wrote: »

...husband's not the type to have affairs then it could work...

I'm sure you mean well, but...woah!